Chapter Text
Harry and Tonks arrived back at their flat in Carnaby Street, and Harry dumped his trunk in the living room and let Hedwig out of her cage. He flopped down on the couch and just took in the peace. There was a silence in the flat, a lack of hurried whispers, which Harry had grown tired of, and now he just wanted to rest.
Tonks was standing there looking at him, conflicted. She was happy to have him home, but the conversations among Harry, Hermione and her parents were replaying in her mind. Harry really did love Hermione, Tonks thought. Maybe it was time to move on if she could. She had to accept reality. She sighed.
“Everything alright?” Harry asked.
“It’s just the whole thing with You-know-who,” Tonks lied.
“Yeah, I’m really not looking forward to the Daily Prophet in the coming weeks,” Harry said, shrugging his shoulders.
“What are your plans?” Tonks asked.
“Training, Occlumency, Homework, maybe see Hermione,” Harry said, “Probably in that order. I need to be prepared.”
“Oh, all right,” Tonks said, “You best be careful when going for a run; this is Muggle London, but still, if someone spots you, it will be bad.”
“I will be careful. I'll sign up at a gym and get some close-quarter combat lessons, too. You're welcome to join if you want. Might do you some good?” Harry said.
“Are you saying I need to work out?!” Tonks said as she slapped the back of his head.
Harry laughed, “No, no, of course not; you are beautiful as you are.”
Tonks blushed then she felt sad—he said the right words, but he didn’t mean them the right way.
There was an awkward silence between them when they got interrupted by a loud pop in the living room. Sirius and Amelia arrived at the flat.
“What’s with this atmosphere?” Sirius asked.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” Tonks said quickly.
“Well, we got some exciting news—we're getting married in August,” Sirius grinned.
“WHAT?!” Harry and Tonks said in sync.
“Sirius, you need to explain properly,” Amelia said while she blushed.
“Right,” Sirius said, “Well, we have actually been engaged for some time, but we had never really decided on a date. With Amelia’s work and my rehabilitation, we kind of just pushed it off for later. It was actually Voldemort’s fault that we decided to get married now.”
“Isn’t that a bad idea?” Harry asked. He couldn’t see the point when both of them were ready to join the fight.
“You are thinking about the fact that we have more to lose,” Amelia said softly, “there is some truth in that, but it also means we have more to live for, more we want to protect.”
Harry was thoroughly shocked at that. He had never thought about it like that. He felt vulnerable when he thought about the people around him, he knew he was supposed to fight Voldemort, but he would rather do it alone than with people. If he were alone, others wouldn’t be in as much danger.
“We are stronger together,” Sirius said, “If we are alone, it is easier to pick us off one by one. Also, Amelia has already waited for me for thirteen years. I can’t make her wait much longer now, can I?”
“Finally, he learns to take responsibility,” Amelia teased.
“Hey, I’m not that bad,” Sirius said.
They all laughed at that, Sirius had a streak of mischief, but he had really grown up in the past year.
“Well, congratulations,” Harry said.
“Yeah, congratulations, Uncle Sirius,” Tonks said. “And are we going to see little baby Blacks running around?” she continued teasingly.
Amelia turned bright red at that. While she wasn’t getting much younger, and with everything happening around them, it might be irresponsible to bring a child into this world. But at the same time for a witch, she was not beyond realistic childbearing age. Who knows what the future might bring?
“Would that make me an uncle?” Harry asked confusedly.
“I guess it would, pup,” Sirius grinned.
“Could you wait a couple of years, then?” Harry grinned, “I am not ready to be an uncle yet.”
“Can’t make any promises,” Sirius grinned back, which earned him a punch in the shoulder from Amelia.
“So, honest question; are you two moving in together now, then?” Harry asked.
“Well, I have things to do for Dumbledore about your connection to Voldemort. I can’t tell you much about that, I’m sorry. Also, you know I have a place in London. Can you remember the address?” Sirius asked.
Harry thought about it, he was sure Sirius had mentioned the place, even told him where it was, but he couldn’t for the life of him remember anything about it.
“Nope,” Harry said, “Why can’t I? Fidelius charm!”
“Yup, Dumbledore is Secret Keeper, so until he feels like it is time, I am sorry, but it's all up to him.”
“I understand,” Harry said, “Well, tell him that he is a right bastard if he keeps me out for too long.”
“Will do, pup,” Sirius said, “Will do.”
“So, when is the date of the wedding?” Tonks asked.
“It will be right before Harry leaves for Hogwarts,” Sirius said, “so the end of August; we're both too busy tying up loose ends right now.”
“Sounds good,” Harry said, “I guess you still have other people to tell. I also look forward to getting to know to Susan properly, seems like we are going to be family, Auntie.”
Amelia was startled at that; she had never been called Auntie by Harry before, and sometimes it was hard for her to see him as a boy. The way his mind worked was adult, sometimes even a battle-hardened adult. It was like talking to a soldier.
Amelia couldn’t help herself; she went forward and hugged the boy on the couch.
“Amelia?!” Sirius looked as surprised as Harry.
“It’s the first time he has called me Auntie like that,” Amelia said. "We've always had this distance..."
Sirius and Tonks exchanged a glance. They understood the feeling. There was a difference in how Harry would treat those close to him and how he would treat others. He would never let anyone close if he didn’t trust them. He still treated the Weasleys with some distance, no matter how much Molly Weasley tried to be a replacement mother.
“Auntie, please,” Harry said, “I can’t breathe.
“Right, sorry,” Amelia said.
“So, pup, I was actually going to ask you to be one of my groomsmen,” Sirius said.
“Of course I will,” Harry said. “Lupin is your best man?”
“Yeah,” Sirius said, “I have known him forever.”
Amelia asked Tonks to be a bride’s maid, and Tonks happily agreed—if the dresses weren’t too girly. Amelia had promised they wouldn’t be. Then they left to invite other people. Andromeda and Ted were getting an invitation, the Weasleys, some other people Sirius knew from back in the day.
Harry had gotten excited on behalf of Sirius. After all that time in Azkaban, Sirius deserved to be happy, and he looked happy with Amelia. Harry relaxed back on the couch and looked at Tonks. “A wedding, huh?” he said more to himself than to her.
“Yeah,” Tonks said. “This is going to be fun!”
“I hope so,” Harry said cautiously.
“Why are you being so serious all of a sudden?” Tonks asked.
“I never dreamt of anything like this before,” Harry said, “I guess you can say that I never thought about a lot of things when I lived with the Dursleys.”
Tonks said nothing. Harry seldomly talked about his time back there. There was no pattern for when his memories of his time there were triggered.
“I knew about marriage, of course,” Harry continued, “Petunia and Vernon were married... are... I guess.”
“I never thought about why they did it. They seemed miserable to me either way. I never thought of marriage or even partnership as a good thing... it seemed like a burden... like a chain keeping you locked into something you couldn’t get out of. Kind of like living with the Dursleys, I guess,” Harry mused, “I wasn’t able to see the real point of getting close to people emotionally. It was all a little calculated, a little cautious... even my friendships with Ron and Hermione... they were out of convenience as much as they felt nice. Ron has wizarding cultural knowledge, and Hermione is brilliant.”
“It wasn’t until you showed me, Tonks,” Harry continued after a moment. “You showed me what a real home was, that it was okay knowing people, not for their skills or abilities, but because they actually care about you. You saved me back then, you cared for me, and in turn, I found a place in caring for you. Your horrible cooking skills saved me,” Harry grinned at the last part, “Thank you, Tonks... Everything I am now ... everything I stopped becoming ... It is all because of you ... you who invited a broken boy into her home ...” Harry had begun crying softly now.
Tonks had started crying a long time before that, but she was shocked when she saw Harry do the same. He never cried. He never showed weakness; he couldn’t. The Dursleys would have used it against him, the people at Hogwarts would use it against him, you-know-who would use it against him. Harry never showed anything, which was weak. Anger and frustration, yes, but weakness? No.
Tonks just sat down next to him on the couch. She wanted to hold him... but he would recoil if she reached for him. They just sat there in silence for what felt like forever. Harry finally stopped crying. He got up and ruffled Tonks’ hair.
“I’m going to take a shower.”
No comment on what just happened. He would never want to talk about it. This was a memory between the two of them, and he wouldn’t share it with anyone else.
When Harry got out of the shower, there were no signs of anything having happened in the living room before. He went to the kitchen, opened the fridge, and complained about the lack of ingredients loudly to Tonks. Sirius hadn’t come back, so it was just Harry and Tonks. They decided to go out to eat. They found a nice little place on Carnaby Street, Harry talked quietly about the Tournament, about Hogwarts, but his eyes would periodically check for the exits and any suspicious people around him. Tonks had seen that look on a person’s face before, and it hurt her that Harry would already begin the habit of searching for exits wherever he was.
“You okay, kid?” Tonks said.
“Hmm... yeah,” Harry said, “No need to worry, I might just be a bit paranoid.”
Tonks felt like someone had just grabbed her intestines and were pulling at them. She wanted to tell Harry that everything was going to be alright, but she was afraid he was just going to laugh at her for being naïve. It would also not be proper anymore; Harry had Hermione to calm him down. It wasn’t her place. It never would be. She had gotten used to that thought. She could be Harry’s friend, his support moving forward.
“You know, I think I will join you in training,” Tonks said, “It would do me good to brush up on close-quarters combat techniques. It could come in handy for some situations.”
“That’s great,” Harry smiled at her. “Also, do you think I could go to Flourish and Blott’s tomorrow? I really want to grab some more advanced books on Occlumency. I haven’t really progressed in my training since I began two years ago. I never thought of it as necessary apart from mental agility and processing some of my bad memories, but now that I need it to block out Voldemort, I should really get practising.”
“I can go with you,” Tonks said, “It wouldn’t be responsible of me to let you go alone, and since Sirius is off playing fiancé, I think it is better if we go together.”
“Sure,” Harry said, “I appreciate the company. Joining me for a morning run?”
“How early?” Tonks asked suspiciously.
“I was thinking around 6 a.m,” Harry said, shrugging his shoulders.
“Are you crazy?” Tonks said in exasperation, “There is no reason to get up that early.”
Harry laughed at that; Tonks still liked to sleep until the last minute before rushing to get to work. “You don’t have to,” he grinned, “I know you like your beauty sleep.”
“Are you teasing me right now?” Tonks asked with a raised eyebrow.
“I wouldn’t dare,” Harry smiled mischievously.
Tonks looked at Harry’s shoulders; they had finally started to become less tense. He had been on edge the entire time since she had picked him up from King’s Cross. It was good to see him laugh like this.
“Okay, kid,” she said, “I think it is about time we got back home.”
“Yeah,” Harry agreed.
They paid for their food, and soon they were walking under the night sky along Carnaby Street. Harry was enjoying the night breeze ruffling his hair. Carnaby Street was amazing in the late evening; the street lamps lit up the buildings in all of their colours. Harry decided that he wasn’t really all that tired right now and started to walk down the street. Tonks was a bit surprised at the change of plans, and she looked at Harry questioningly.
“It’s a beautiful summer night,” Harry said, “I need to learn how to unwind, too. I have been too tense the past weeks. Walk with me?”
Harry offered the hook of his arm to Tonks, who took a few seconds to decide.
“Are you alright?” Harry asked, slowing.
“Hmm... yeah...” Tonks muttered before she reluctantly took his arm. It wasn’t like anything was wrong with that. They were just like siblings—it wasn’t like it was a date or anything.
“You have been acting—I don't know—differently, lately,” Harry commented, “I hope it isn’t anything I have done.”
“No, no, it isn’t. It has just been stressful at work,” Tonks said quickly. It’s all about what you have done, you idiot.
“Good,” Harry said, “I would hate for things to become strained between us.”
“Me too,” Tonks muttered. She didn’t want to lose Harry. It was better to just stay as friends or siblings or whatever this weird thing was than lose him. She breathed in. She had finally been able to decide she would bury these feelings deep down in her, and she would act like an older sister to him. It was better to be family than to be nobody to him at all.
Harry and Tonks walked arm-in-arm down the road. Harry pointed out different things he observed to Tonks, and they joked around about nothing and everything between heaven and earth. This was nice, Tonks thought, just spending time with him.
They walked around until Harry led them back to their flat. He opened the door and led Tonks inside. They were walking up the stairs and soon found themselves in front of the door to the flat.
Harry looked at Tonks. Well, this had been nice. He felt much more relaxed right now than he had before they had gone out. He kissed her on the cheek.
“Thank you for helping me calm down,” Harry said, “I needed that.”
He then went into the flat and further into his room and closed the door behind him.
Tonks was standing in the doorway, shocked motionless. She thought, This kid is not going to make it easy for me, is he?
She sighed loudly and went to bed. Don’t let it bother you... you will lose if you let it bother you... don’t let it bother you at all... just act natural in the morning... it didn’t even happen... he is just a kid... it meant nothing... it was just... a... kiss... on the cheek...