Archive of Our Own

Peter started going to therapy, but found himself unable to speak when he met the new therapist. He kept trying, and kept going to sessions with Tony’s encouragement, but nothing seemed to change. Tony took Peter to every session, and waited in the waiting room for him every time without fail. But after five silent sessions, on Peter’s part, they decided to try another therapist.

Two sessions in with the new therapist Peter surprised himself and spoke. Something about her made him so much more at ease then the first therapist they tried. He was nice, no question, but Peter’s voice just wouldn’t work around him. His new therapist decided that would be a good place to start, after Peter could verbally communicate with her, find out why he couldn’t speak with the last one.

He had never thought about it before, but he found it a lot easier to speak with women more than men. When he first met Tony he couldn’t talk to him, it took time, weeks really until he said a word outside of the mask. When he first met the Avengers, after he began to speak to Tony, he couldn't talk to them. Besides Mr. Stark, the first person on the team he felt comfortable enough to physically talk around was Nat. Which is surprising since she is one of the most, if not the most, intimidating people he has ever met. But nonetheless he became close to her, way before the rest. He became her little spider.

Since this therapist, and the last as well actually, has worked with some of the Avengers he was able to tell her about his relationship with the team. How he became close with Nat before anyone else besides Tony. In the very back of Peter’s mind he knew the reason he felt safer with women, but he didn’t want to think about it. He had buried those memories so deep hoping to keep them buried forever, but in the end that wasn’t going to happen. Either he was going to repress them so deep, and keep the emotions bottled up for so long that one day they would all come bubbling up to the surface and explode, or he works through them in a safe environment. One where there is someone there to catch him when he falls, one where Mr. Stark is waiting for him just a few rooms away.

So they uncovered the memories he hid away long ago, the memories of one blond haired blue eyed babysitter named Skip Westcott. Suddenly everything became so clear. Why talking to new people became so hard, since he trusted a new person once a long time ago and that person betrayed him. Hurt him in just about the worst way you can hurt a person. From then on it became easier to shut down and not trust anyone new. Not only that, but as a defense his body made it impossible to trust someone new unless they really put in the effort and stuck with him. He didn’t speak to Mr. Stark, outside of Spider-Man or Spider-Man related things, for weeks after they met. Yet Tony still invited Peter for lab day’s after Coney Island every week. He put in the time and effort until Peter finally spoke to him. Tony didn’t even realize he was doing it, but Peter did, even if it was subconsciously. He noticed the effort and slowly started to trust the man.

Same with the team, he already trusted them as Spider-Man, but it took a lot longer for Peter Parker to trust them. Steve was among the last he opened up to. He now realized his blond hair and blue eyes made him distrust the man more than the rest. Steve was nothing like Skip, but his appearance was too similar.

It also became clear why he trusted women more. A man was the one who betrayed his trust. A man was the one who took his innocence from him. It made logical sense that men became untrustworthy in the young boy’s eyes.

It also didn’t help that Skip would often say things like, “Keep quiet Einstein, if you don't, others will hear they’ll see just how disgusting you really are.” or “This is our little secret, you can’t say a word to anyone about this.”or “Be a good little boy and shut your mouth.” The more he opened up to his new therapist the more his inability to talk made sense.

He wanted to tell Tony, but was afraid to. Part of his mind still believed people would find him disgusting just like Skip said. His therapist offered to have Mr. Stark join a session in case he needed her to help him through explaining. She also said he doesn't have to tell Tony about the reason, and instead she can just explain the condition he is suffering from, but he did want Mr. Stark to know. If there was one person he trusted, other than May of course, it was Tony.

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The next session when Tony took Peter to his therapy Peter asked him to come in with him instead of waiting in the waiting room. He of course agreed, and found himself sitting on a small couch, Peter on the other side. His therapist was in an armchair in front of them.

“Would you like to start Peter?” his therapist said with a kind smile.

Peter was looking down at his lap and fidgeting with his shirt hem, “Uh, yeah, sure.” He took a breath, but didn’t look up. “We figured out why I can’t talk around strangers.” He said it plainly like it wasn’t a huge revelation, which it was to Tony. He was happy the kid figured it out, but by Peter’s demeanor the reason was not good, not that he thought it would be. “I-I haven’t told you everything about my past.” Tony’s eyebrows furrowed at that, but didn’t say anything as he could tell it was hard for Peter to get this out and don't want to break his thoughts. “I had a b-babysitter.”

The sentence seemed so innocent, but the way Peter said it, the way he stuttered over the one word sent dread down Tony’s spine. Peter took a shuddering breath and continued, “His name was S-sk-skip” It took him a few tries to get the name out. “He was nice at first, but then he- he-” he couldn’t say it.

“Take you time Peter.” His therapist assured.

“You’ll hate me.” He stated finally looking up at Tony, unshed tears glazing his eyes.

Tony’s heart broke at the sight. “Nothing could ever make me hate you Pete, I promise.”

Peter looked at him skeptically, like he didn’t quite believe him, or his mind didn’t want to let him. But he looked back down as he said his next words, “He-” He had to get it out before he exploded, he just blurted it out, if he didn’t do it now he would never do it. “He raped me.” And with that the dam broke and Peter was sobbing.

Tony’s breath caught in his throat, part of him knew deep down from Peter’s demeanor and the way he was afraid to tell him, but hearing it for sure made it all too real. Someone actually hurt his kid in the worst way imaginable. It was taking all his self control not to storm off the couch, find Skip, and end him. But Peter needs him, so he stayed rooted in his stop on the couch. He wanted to reach out to Peter, it hurt that he just was watching him cry and not holding him, but he knew logically Peter might not want to be touched.

He and Peter’s therapist waited until he calmed down a bit and got his breathing under control. After a few moments of silence Tony spoke up, “Thank you for trusting me Peter.” Peter looked up a bit surprised, eyes red and puffy. “I want you to know that I don’t see you as any different. You are and will always be my kid, nothing will change that. Nothing will make me see you any differently.”

Peter took a breath, it sounded relieved, like the thing he was most afraid of was just proven to be false. Mr. Stark didn’t hate him, didn’t find him disgusting, and didn’t see him as any differently. He moved to where Tony sat feeling safe with him. He realized now that since Skip Tony was the only man he felt completely safe with other than Uncle Ben, who of course wasn’t there anymore and Ned, who had been his friend from before Skip.

Tony still did not move to be safe, instead he asked first, “Can I hug you?” Peter nodded fervently and that was all Tony needed before he wrapped both arms around the boy he considered his son. They stayed like that for a while in comfortable silence until Peter’s therapist cleared her throat. They both looked at her, but made no move to let go of the other.

“I wanted to explain the condition Peter has and ways to overcome it if you're both ready.” They both nodded. She smiled at them and began, “The condition is called selective mutism. It is mostly found in children, but teens and adults can suffer from it as well.” She paused to let the information sink in. “Peter’s is caused by strangers, most specifically males. There are a few things we can try to help you overcome this.” She directed the last sentence towards Peter. “One is introducing a stranger in a controlled safe setting. Start with a female to make things a bit easier and then work up to a man. From there-” She went on about treatment options. The whole time neither Tiony nor Peter let go of eachother.

Peter knew he had a long way to go, but also knew he could get through it with Mr. Stark by his side. No matter how long it takes he knows now that he is not alone and never will be.