Chapter Text
Spring
“As the flowers bloom and the rainfall returns, I can only think of you. Was it not spring that we met? It was impossible to tell that it was spring back then, being so far down. Still, I remember coming to Trost and feeling the fresh air on my skin for the first time. That same breeze carried me here, so please wait for me to be blown to you.”
- L.
The car ride was so smooth that Levi hardly stirred after being lulled to sleep by the driver's incessant rambling. He hadn't been sleeping well since, well forever, so the respite was much needed.
Before he’d fallen asleep he spent the majority of the ride staring out the window, watching the mountain range in the distance inch closer. Just below the mountain is where the town Naraka rested, just North of Nedlay, and not too far from his estate.
Tall trees guarded the road, making it impossible to see far into the woods. It was green everywhere with spring starting to bloom. Wildflowers wildly grew along the edge of the road.
It reminded him of back home, where he had an impressive garden of flowers and herbs growing in his backyard. He’d have to thank Hange for agreeing to care for them when he arrived.
Hitting a small pothole was all Levi needed to be jostled from his slumber, spurring him to peer out the window. The huge mass of trees that blocked most of his view was gone, granting him a view of the valley.
He’d been told by his mother that the town of Naraka was historical. It had remained here for well over a century and has grown in size and population since. She boasted that it even features a direct train down to the Utopia district and Orvud. Levi wasn’t particularly interested in sightseeing near the Capital, but it was nice to know that he could, should he find himself with nothing to do.
The road ahead followed a spiraling path down the mountain and, at this elevation, there was a clear view of the village at the base. On the outskirts of town, Levi caught a glimpse of what he assumed was the Ackerman estate.
He was much too young to remember the details of his last visit, so when they arrived it would be like seeing it for the first time. As they got closer he got a better look at the building, and it appeared much bigger than he remembered.
Maybe it really is a castle? He lets that thought sit in his mind, but then refused to acknowledge that Hange was right.
As the car continued to make its way through the mountains and into town, Levi recalled the last conversation he had with his editor before he got on the plane.
—
Levi was impatiently standing in line to board the plane when he got the call. Checking caller ID he sighed.
"Hange, I’ve got to board soon, what do you want?” He glanced down at his watch, noting that business class will be boarding in less than five minutes.
“Oh c’mon, don't be mad. This trip will be good for you, I promise. Besides, how long has it been since you visited the castle? Twenty years? You need to get out of that house, go meet some new people,” they paused to snort, “maybe even meet a guy? I hear there’s a strapping young man who takes care of the property, I think his name was—”
“First of all, it's an estate, not a castle. Second off, I’m going there to write you a silly romance novel like you asked, not get myself laid. Why'd you even call?”
His patience was running thin, especially since Hange called often with nothing important to say.
“I just wanted to let you know that I did some uh, official research on the castle—sorry— estate. And I found out there are some old books and archives there that you can read. She, I mean Google, said they’re scattered throughout the library. It’ll be the perfect inspiration.”
Their meddling behavior was nothing new, so Levi he wasn't fooled by them.
“And by research, you mean you called my mother?”
“What? No way!” Hange pauses, knowing better, “Yeah okay, I talked to Kuchel. In my defense, she called me and said that when she visited last year she set some aside for you in case you finally decided to visit. I just think it’s worth checking out.”
“Thanks, Hange. I’ll be sure to give my mother a call and have her block your number,” the final boarding announcement chimed over the intercom.
“Look, I have to board now. Stop calling my mother every time you don’t get your way with me, got it?”
“Alright, alright. Have a safe flight!”
“Yeah okay, I’ll let you know when I land.”
He hung up the phone just in time, and headed down the walkway with their conversation fresh in his mind. What kinds of books did his mother intend for him to read? They're probably hundreds, maybe even thousands of years old by now.
Levi only hoped that there would be something good amongst the mix because, while he won't admit it to Hange, he was desperate for inspiration. He’d been trying to start his next novel for months now and, with his deadline being next spring, he needed a push.
He’d written dozens of novels; some were made into series, and others belonging to random genres like fantasy, mystery, thriller, and even some literary fiction. However, the one genre he’d never attempted to write is romance. The main reason for this was that Levi had never been in love. His entire life he’s stayed on the sidelines while he watched his friends fall into relationships time and time again.
It wasn’t for a lack of interest, but Levi couldn't seem to fall in love with anyone. He’d gotten into a few relationships when he was younger, mostly with women, but they never lasted long.
After his diagnosis, he found it hard to believe that breaking his own heart, let alone someone else's, was worth it. After one failed attempt, he made up his mind. Levi stopped trying to get into relationships as a whole.
The inevitable lack of experience made writing romance novels impossible. However, in the past few years, he’d received an alarming amount of fanmail that he should write a romance. So much that even his editor, Hange Zoe, had begun to accost him about it.
They’d met at some conference for writers and editors from various companies many years ago. Back then he was still new to writing and Hange had immediately become attached to him. They had spent most of the meeting hounding Levi about the first novel he'd released, begging to be his new editor. He’d mistakenly agreed, and the rest was history. So there he was, visiting an old family home in search of new scenery and if he was lucky, something to enlighten him.
His hopes weren't very high.
The trip was mostly Hange’s idea, who said weeks ago when they pitched the idea that they would pay for his flights as long as he left his home in Hizuru. Even his mother had pushed him to leave, saying that when she visited him he looked exhausted.
“You're rotting away in here,'' she'd patted his cheek, “don't waste your life away indoors. Go write someplace beautiful while you still can.”
The two of them weren’t wrong but Levi would never admit it, instead deciding to blame his bedraggled appearance on his insomnia.
As he sat uncomfortably on the long plane ride, he couldn't help but wonder if he would find what he was looking for on Paradis Island.
—
When he stepped out of the car to stretch his legs, Levi heart started to race uncontrollably.
“Fuck,” he muttered and sat back down in his seat, car door still wide open, “Sorry, I'll just—I’ll grab my bags in a moment.”
He waited for his sight and heart rate to return to normal, watching as the spots of black faded from his vision. He tried to focus on the smell of freshly trimmed grass that filled his nose, on a motor running somewhere nearby.
“Are you alright, sir?” His driver murmured, standing by the side of the car, about to grab his luggage.
“M’fine thanks.”
Finally managing to stand up and shut the car door behind himself; he approached the open trunk and pulled out two of his bags. The driver grabbed the other two and followed after him.
“Sir, you need help bringing your luggage inside?” He peered at Levi with uncertainty, like he expected him to keel over.
“You can just set those two inside the foyer.” He pulled out his wallet from his back pocket and fished out a hundred-dollar bill.“Thanks for the ride, keep the change.”
Giving him no time to reply, Levi turned and dragged the first two bags toward the main entrance. The man slowly trailed behind.
He'd come here as a child and yet, glancing up at the massive brick building in front of him, he couldn't recall it looking like this. All he remembered was endless hallways, high ceilings, the smell of dust, tons of wooden flooring, and some other blurry bits and pieces.
The majority of the estate was a deep red brick, with a dark roof and shutters. There were at least two floors by the looks of it, although he noticed a slightly taller spiral tower in the corner of the building.
The circular cobblestone driveway was built around a stunning fountain, which Levi paused to admire as he passed by. A statue of a man wearing a cape and swords in each hand stood tall in the center. Water ran down from its head, making him appear as though he was being showered with water or based on his weapons, maybe blood.
He slowly made his way up the steps and swung open the large door, a familiar crest at its center. As soon as he opened the door he expected to be hit with a waft of stale air, but instead was met with the pleasant scent of clean sheets and cleaning supplies. This greatly pleased Levi, who valued a clean home more than he probably should.
“I’ll set these here sir, enjoy your visit.” And with that, the man set his bags down inside and went back out the front door, shutting it with a click. Stepping out of his shoes, Levi left his bags at the base of the steps and continued inside.
Sweeping over the foyer, nothing struck him as familiar. He was hoping that coming inside and seeing the interior firsthand would spark a memory. But nothing came.
Taking in the large room, he appreciated the dark brown coloring of the wooden floors, as well as the stunning paintings that line the walls. The main staircase in front of him was covered with a dull red carpeting, splitting two ways at the top to fork into two wings.
He ran a finger across the handrail as he ascended, surprised by the lack of dust. Making his way to the second floor, he noticed the shined hardwood.
Someone is keeping the place in good shape. But where are they? Nobody seemed to be around at the moment so he pushed on.
He recalled the directions his mother gave him and took a right at the top of the stairs. Levi headed down the hallway, making his way to the room that was prepared for him. He paused briefly at the doorway, steadying himself after the flight of stairs.
It was left open, as if someone just recently finished cleaning it. If he remembers correctly this might have been the room he used when he stayed here long ago. It looked much different now, a significantly larger bed lies in the center, with dark red covers to decorate it alongside emerald-colored pillows.
A dark dresser sat beneath the windows near the bed, which were left open to allow the warm breeze in. Other than that, the room was rather bare. A set of closet doors were on the left wall, and a bathroom door was connected on the other side.
Setting his bags down by the foot of his bed, he inhaled deeply, trying to calm his heart. It was just one trip up the stairs, not a marathon. Deciding that he needed to relax for a moment, Levi perched at the edge of his bed.
After mindlessly scrolling through his phone, he sent Hange a text.
L: Made it to the estate in one piece
it's not a dump so that's nice
4 eyes: Yayyy knew u would! Keep me posted plz :P
L: Yeah yeah, I’ll update you when something interesting happens
Hange responded with a questionable amount of emojis, to which Levi scoffed. Taking a deep breath, he got up and decided to find the groundskeeper Hange mentioned. Leaving his bags to be unpacked later, he headed down the way he came.
Finding himself in the foyer again, he went through a doorway on the left and entered what he assumed was the study. At the center of the room a large desk sat with red couches next to it. A spiral staircase was in the corner of the room, he noticed apprehensively that it looked steep.
Shelves line the walls and a large record collection sat organized in one section of it. Alongside the collection was an extremely antique record player. Letting curiosity win, Levi treaded over, running his fingers over the records. There were easily over a hundred of them, all alphabetized and dusted on the outside. He marveled at just how extensive the collection was before heading up the staircase.
Levi steeled himself and slowly climbed the steps. Grabbing the railing like a lifeline, he took his time walking up the narrow staircase. When he reached the top he wished, not for the first time, that there was an elevator.
His heart rate skyrocketed, and all he could do was wait for it to pass. He blinked away the spots in his vision and sighed.
Finally making it to the next level, his eyes took in the view. The room was by far the most impressive one yet. It had two levels, which probably made it the tower he noticed when he first arrived outside.
On the second level a walkway for extra bookcases wrapped around the room, with another spiral staircase allowing access to it. The main floor of the room was also wall-to-wall books. Hange was serious when they said there were hundreds of books there.
A circle of worn couches lay in the center of the room, and a small table with books piled on it lay between them. A cold fireplace sat unused on one of the walls, and Levi couldn't help but glance up at the art that hung above it.
The painting was easily as tall as he is, several feet wide and illustrating two men posing for a portrait. It was a captivating piece of work. Some of the colors were faded with time, but the flowers in the background somehow remained vibrant.
The only disappointing thing about it was the faces of the two men pictured were slightly blurry, perhaps not properly cared for over the years. However, he could tell that one is a significantly shorter man, with dark hair and a frown. The man next to him a stoic blonde standing like a statue of authority.
With a hum of approval, he turned and approached the long desk in the corner. Littered with books and journals, it was clear that someone has recently used this room. Not wanting to disturb anyone's work, he instead peered at the books on the wall.
There were so many books that even Levi, an avid reader, couldn't recognize them all. Pulling an unmarked one off the shelf, he considered it in his hand. There was no title, for one, and it was bound with authentic leather.
Opening it he found that it must be a scientific journal of some sort, as there were notes about some sort of gear that was used a long time ago. He read for a moment before growing bored with the messy handwriting and put it back.
He continued to glance over the contents of the shelf and his eyes eventually landed on something that stood out. He reached to pull it off the shelf, but paused when he heard a slight echo of footsteps behind him.
A blonde man standing at least six feet tall appeared in the wide doorway of the library. Levi absentmindedly raked his eyes over him.
He slowly approached, noticeably a solid foot or two taller than Levi. His broad shoulders and deep sun-tanned skin made him assume he was a landscaper, but he wasn't sure. His striking blue eyes immediately catch Levi's attention, a small smile on his face.
“I apologize for the late greeting,” he lets out a deep breath as if he had been running about. “There was a mishap in the kitchen I had to handle. Your name is Levi, right?”
The towering man offers a massive hand and he glanced down at it skeptically. He noted the neatly trimmed nails, deep scars and scrapes on his long fingers, and the unexpected lack of dirt. Still, better safe than sorry.
“Yes, but I don't do handshakes,” he said, keeping his arms crossed, “don’t worry about not meeting me at the door, the driver was kind enough to set my bags inside for me.” He watched as the man took the rejection with grace, nodding to himself.
Levi pauses for a moment, expecting him to say his name.
“Name?”
“I’m sorry?”
Levi huffed a short sigh. “Your name, you got one?”
“Oh yes, sorry,” the man chuckled to himself, “Erwin Smith. I’m the head groundskeeper, but you can just call me Erwin.”
He rubbed the back of his neck and shot Levi a grin, choosing to ignore his bad mood.
“Would you like me to show you around? Give you the grand tour and introduce you to the staff?”
“Sure, lead the way.”
They made their way to the kitchen in silence, traveling downstairs to the left-wing of the building. When they arrive, it's clear to Levi what the earlier “mishap” was.
The kitchen was filled with the smell of burnt food, and a hazy smoke clung to the air. Mixing bowls were strewn about, and on the stovetop a charred mound was in a baking pan with white foam on it. On the floor sat a fire extinguisher, which he assumed Erwin used to put the fire out.
“Shit, Petra, you had one job, just the one. ‘Watch the cake while I leave for the store’, that was it, and you had to go and burn it!”
A gruff young man with a bandana tied around his head scolded, flailing his arms about. The orange-haired woman turned her flushed face towards Erwin and Levi as they entered.
“Excuse me you two, this is Levi, he just arrived. Levi, this is Dita and Petra, they’re the cooks here. Well, we’ve got one more, but he’s got the day off.” He let out a sigh at the scene before them, “Please excuse the mess, Petra just started recently and she’s still learning.”
“Clearly,” he mused, inspecting the not burnt pastries on the kitchen island, “What were you trying to make?”
“Well, we’d made the cookies and scones already, but I thought that you might not like either, so I thought that while Dita was gone I’d bake the cake.” She paused and lowered her head, “But I guess that I set the heat too high and by the time he got back it was on fire.” She mumbled, clearly mortified that she’d caused such commotion.
“Thankfully Erwin came when he smelled it and put the fire out.” Petra finished with a sigh, rubbing her hands together nervously.
“Don't worry, I think we all remember when Dita first started here. The meatloaf disaster in particular.” Erwin smirked, and watched as Dita’s face burnt red.
“It was one time, man.” He crossed his arms and faced the sink, starting on their pile of dishes.
“I know, and we appreciate your hard work since then.”
Erwin led them through a small hallway that connected the left and right-wing, pointing out a bathroom and laundry room on the way, and they finally land in the dining room. It's enormous, bigger than they probably need. The ceiling is high, with paintings of the ocean and greenery on the walls. It very likely served as a small ballroom at one point in time.
A few blue and white vases rest on small pillars in the corners of the room. A large table rests in the center of the room with a delicate lace cover on top. There are about 12 seats all around it, although he couldn't imagine that many people being in the house at once.
“Does my family come here often enough to warrant such a big table?”
“Apparently, long before anyone you know visited here, they used to host dinner parties and other gatherings. I think in its prime, it was used often. Your mother kept it because she likes the aesthetic, I think.”
Levi hummed in agreement, running his fingers along with the lace trim as he passed by the table.
“I wonder why they stopped.”
“I'm not too sure,” Erwin paused outside the windows facing the back of the house, “would you like for me to show you the garden now?”
Levi nodded, and they went back in the direction of the kitchen.
The back door led down a small set of stairs, and then they followed a stone path into the garden. Vibrant flower bushes bordered the walkway, and Levi noticed their nice maintenance. After a few feet they arrive at the main area, a large circle of wildflowers and herbs.
In the center stood another stone statue, a towering man in a traditional salute with a cape around his neck. He registered that its composition looked similar to the statue in front of the house.
He stopped in front of it and admired the fine craftsmanship before continuing around the stone pathway. He appreciated the butterflies and bees making their way around the plants, a clear sign of a healthy garden.
Further down the path was a large greenhouse with glass panes and white metal beams. It had a regal appearance, and it spiraled upwards at the top like a church. Intricate designs marked both the glass and metal.
“This happens to be one of my favorite places on the estate.” Erwin commented, opening the door for Levi to enter. He stepped inside and noted the thick odor of soil and fertilizer. A small pot of wilted lilies caught his eye.
“My mother mentioned the greenhouse. Said she got tired of her plants dying during the winter and decided to have this built.”
Levi paused, looking up from the pot of flowers to meet his gaze, “Are you the one taking care of the garden?”
“Well, we have two landscapers here, Oluo and Gunther. I think they’re off mowing grass on the east side of the building, but you’ll meet them at dinner.”
“That didn’t answer my question.” Levi bent down to smell one of the spearmint plants. Erwin’s grin widened.
"They’re familiar with trimming and cutting plants, not so much nurturing them. I took it upon myself to manage the garden and this greenhouse as well as the estate. I find it relaxing, you’ll find me out here quite often.”
Erwin then went on a monologue about the various species of flowers and herbs he was growing, and the new plants he recently got.
Levi hummed to himself, a question burning in his mind as he slowly walked around the large room. His gazing flicked around the plants waiting to be repotted and fertilized.
“You must work tirelessly here. What do you do in your spare time, if you have any?”
“Well,” Erwin stopped abruptly behind him, “I work for your family full time, as my mother did, and I enjoy it. However, I’ve been trying to reopen my family’s bakery in town.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. Must be his nervous tick, Levi noted.
“It's a bit embarrassing, my friends used to laugh at the fact that it was one of my main goals in life. My parents ran it before me and, now that they're gone, I’d like to reopen it in their honor.”
“I see,” he nodded, not knowing what else to say, “Well I hope you can open it in the future.”
Erwin glanced up at him from a growing plant with a soft smile, “Thank you, Levi.”
After thoroughly examining the greenery inside, and questioning Erwin about the garden, they headed back outside.
“Well, I’m not sure if there’s anything else I can show you, I think we’ve completed our tour.”
“I still haven’t seen the room to the right of the foyer. Not to mention some of the rooms upstairs."
“How about after dinner? I’m sure you still have plenty of unpacking to do.” Erwin reminded him of the four bags full of luggage he had to unpack once he returned to his room.
“Right,” he grumbled as they passed back through the garden.
Enjoying the fresh smell of cut grass, Levi glanced up at the sky. The change from day to evening was obvious with the reds, pinks, and oranges that painted the clouds.
The air somehow felt chillier than it did when he first arrived. He’d forgotten that northern Paradis got brisk in the night, even with springs arrival. He’d have to be very careful to not get caught outside in the cold during his stay.
Erwin pulled the door open for him, “After you.”
Levi nodded his head and embraced the warmth that enveloped him upon entering. They must've been heating up the house with their work in the kitchen.
“If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to help them finish dinner,” Erwin noted, before joining Petra and Dita in the kitchen.
Deciding he’d begrudgingly do as Erwin advised, he headed back to his room to unpack. He was pleased to find his other bags had been brought up already.
After methodically unpacking and tucking his things away in drawers and on counters, he sits back on his bed with a satisfied sigh.
Even though he wasn't sure he'd stay the year he planned to, it was nice to have a tidy space. If all went according to plan, he'd head back to Hizuru next spring with a manuscript in tow. This reminded him to text Hange.
L: Met the man you mentioned on the phone, along with the rest of the colorful staff.
I suppose he’s as “strapping” as you said
4 eyes: haha I knew he’d be perfect 4 you I just had a feeling, can’t believe this
When is the wedding????
How many kids??
L: All I said was he was just like you pictured you jackass, just met him
4 eyes: Okay??
Anywho lmk what happens with him
your mother told me he’s been single since she’s known him
So he’s either gay
Or he is so well endowed that nobody can handle it
maybe both??
L: You're insufferable
4 eyes: I do this because I need you to hurry and find someone already
Ur pathetic being all alone and virginly
He pointedly ignored the last message and threw his phone somewhere on the bed. A faint bell rings from somewhere nearby, and he assumes he’s being summoned for dinner.
“All I’m saying is that we shouldn’t have baked so much. We wasted way too many ingredients, all because of some hunch” Dita complained across the table, to which Petra whined.
“How was I supposed to know he wouldn’t have an appetite for sweets?”
“All I’m saying is, I told you so!”
Levi glanced up at the two of them with an irked expression. The conversation arose because Levi said he wasn’t up for sweets after dinner. In his defense, they had prepared an outrageous amount of food for the small group of them, and he ate his fill to the point of a stomach ache.
The handful of landscapers had gone home for the day, but the maids stayed later alongside the cooks. Even with the six of them at the long table, there was just too much food to eat any dessert.
“If you wanted me to have space for some sweets, maybe don’t make so much food next time,” Levi muttered, leaning back in his seat as they continued to bicker. Erwin seemed to notice his discomfort, and broke up their conversation.
“Dinner was quite filling, don't you two think? Maybe we’ll all feel up to eating sweets tomorrow, perhaps with breakfast.”
Levi realized just how jet-lagged he’d started to feel. Traveling always took it right out of him, and all the stairs didn’t exactly help either.
“I think I’ll head to my room for tonight,” Levi quickly rose from his seat, tilting a little with his lightheadedness. "Thank you all for dinner.”
He shook off his dizziness and exited the dining room. He paused at the top of the steps, catching his breath. He silently resolved to stop by the library and grab a book before bed.
He found himself wandering to the same spot he was at earlier that day. The old book he was going to grab still called his name.
Plucking it off the shelf, Levi opened the book with care. Some were ancient after all. He read the faded inscription, and pursed his lips. Poetry, lovely.
Antiquated love poems were anticipated, however, he wasn’t expecting the sound of paper falling to the floor. Worrying that he'd destroyed the novel already, he glanced down only to find a small folded piece of paper.
Bending down to analyze it, Levi realized it was bound together by a thin red string. Curiosity piqued, he pulls apart the string and opened it up.
To my love,
It's been days since I left Trost and headed to Mitras for the council meeting. Each one I have spent thinking of you. I write this to you in hopes that you are able to find some solace that I will be returning to base soon.
I know this relationship is relatively new, but I cannot help how strongly I yearn for you when we’re apart. I went to a pub with a few old Military Police friends tonight after a debriefing. As we drank, all I could think about was how I wished you were there beside me. I sat quietly as they drank, daydreaming of drinking tea with you, laying next to you, pressing my lips to yours, and what your rare smile looked like.
How long has it been now, since we decided to put an end to the tension between us? I cannot help but laugh when I think back to how thick it was. Every time I entered the room you would cast longing glances, as I did when you weren't looking. The many days that I would stop outside your door, hand raised and ready to knock but never did. The way our hands would brush each other when we walked side by side. The insignificant tiffs we would start as if we were encouraging the other to crack and slip how they truly felt.
I remember the night we gave up our charade vividly. We had just come back from a tough mission, and we’d suffered great losses. All of the scouts were drunk that night. It was clear that you shared my craving, and you made it obvious when you later waltzed into my quarters. I recount being shocked that you were quite sober after so many drinks, and you laughed at my own drunken stupor.
Then you did what I’d thought of doing since I saw you as more than comrades. You kissed me, hard, and I’d enjoyed it more than I care to admit on paper. I still feel your teeth on my neck.
I write this to you, not because I believe you’ve forgotten, but because I wish to remind you that my heart aches for you the same way it did when I first met for you. No amount of cities between us, or days apart, will change that.
I hope this letter makes its way to you safely, and I hope you will be impatiently awaiting my return,
- Your lover
What Levi had been expecting to find was a bookmark, an annotation, or something to that degree. What he had not foreseen was this note. What does one do with a love letter?
He glanced over the calligraphy, noting that it appeared remarkably old, possibly older than this house. How it managed to stay intact so well, he had no clue. He thought about putting it back where he found it but he instead decided to clear off the desk in the library and get to work.