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Hunter was sitting quietly listening to King babble about demons and demonology as had become commonplace at the owl house, Flapjack was sleeping peacefully on Hunter's lap. It had been about a week since the wanted poster incident and Hunter had gotten a bit better. He still had thoughts but they had calmed a bit, he had even started talking more, and Luz and Eda had noticed his posture had shifted from being tense and on guard 24/7 to being a bit more relaxed. Hunter had taken a liking to his kinda-sorta younger brother. He enjoyed listening to King ramble, it was calming in an odd way, and more importantly, it was a distraction from his mind. When he first came to the owl house he spent days awake, not being able to move from the couch without extreme pain just thinking.
He thought about the fact that he wasn't really a witch, just some sort of free-willed abomination. He thought about Belos and what he would do to him once he found him. He thought about the guards before him, how they stepped out of line to their imminent demise. He wondered if they had palesmin, like Flapjack. He wondered what made them disobey Belos, whether it had been a simple rule-breaking or if they had outright rebelled against his core principles. He also wondered if there would be a guard after him, whether Belos was working on his replacement as he was lying there injured, or if he needed hunter dead to make a new one if he would use his body bones and blood to make a replacement for him. He wasn't exactly clear on how to make a grimwalker. He wondered if he was made out of the bones of the guards of the past, he knew he was a clone of them but he wondered how much of their flesh was originally theirs. If they shared the same skin, bones, or blood. Questioning if they were also in a body that did not match their mind, or if they had flat chests and stubble on their chins unlike Hunter, whose chest was large, whose hips were wide, and could barely grow body hair anywhere much less his face.
King was a distraction from that when he rambled when he played with his toys in the living room as Hunter watched him, or even if he just curled up in his lap and slept. He was energetic and joyful, like Luz, but he was also incredibly witty and sassy more like Eda, who had raised him. Hunter even enjoyed reading his book. In all his talking about demons the one thing that was strange is that he never talked about what type of demon he was, which was odd especially because he was usually very prideful. So when King hit a slow spot in his lecture about bug demons and how hooty was technically of the bug demon type (apparently he was like a worm? They really didn't understand the technicalities all that much) Hunter had asked him.
“So what type of demon are you?” Hunter expected King to start to proudly talk about his species and his heritage, what he did not expect was for him to tense up and freeze.
“Well, I uh. I don't really know. I was sorta found by Eda and adopted, and I'm not really sure who my parents are or anything, or what type of demon I am, sorry.” He felt really bad now, staring into King's gig with sad eyes.
“Well that's ok, you don't need to know everything, that doesn't mean you're not you,” he was pretty much echoing the words that Eda had told him a week prior, unsure of what else to say to the furry little boy. He hoped to be a comfort to him but the boy seemed to shrink in further sadness and worry, he looked up at the older boy, a little bit of fear but mostly confusion in his eyes.
“That's what I told you in the shed right?” King rubbed his hands nervously, the confusion and fear on his face doubled. At first, Hunter had trouble reading King's facial expressions due to the fact that he lacked a visible mouth, it being hidden under his boney upper face and muzzle, but the look of how was crystal clear in its messaging, he had heard him and Eda's conversation and knew about the older boy's mental breakdown.
“I- I uh, how much did you hear?” He shot up from his spot on the couch, the blanket that had been covering his lap falling to the floor, waking up Flapjack who was now fluttering around nervously, then landing on Hunter's shoulder. He just looked down at King as he stared back at Hunter.
“Most of it, Luz told me to go upstairs but when I went inside I went to the other side of the shed door.” Oh, oh no, hunters only thought. He was unsure of what to say so he just stood there. He had not known until now they had heard anything of their conversation with Eda. Although looking back King had been a lot quieter at dinner than usual, but everyone had just assumed that was because of the scare that his disappearance had caused, not because he heard anything. It would be obvious to any teen or adult what was happening and what was going through the grimwalker's mind at the time, but King was just a kid. Hunter wasn't sure how much he knew about stuff like mental breakdowns, or suicidal ideation. He probably knew as much as most other eight-year-olds, which was barely anything if not nothing.
“Do you know what we were talking about?” He was incredibly unsure of what to do, how do you navigate a situation like this, he should get Eda but she wasn't home right now, and Luz was on a call with Amity upstairs, and he didn't know she would know what to do either.
“You were talking about how you aren't a real person, and then you started talking about dying.” Hunter didn't say anything, completely lost on what he should do next when King said what he dreaded him asking the most, “do you want to die?”
Oh fuck, oh, Titans fucking fuck. The saddest part of it was that the question didn't hurt as much as the fact that Hunter didn't know the answer to the question. He had thoughts about suicide before, he had thought about them more often than he would like to admit to, but he didn't know whether those thoughts were just awful, truly miserable thoughts or whether it was a want. He knew he didn't want the emperor to kill him, and he knew he was scared of death, but he also didn't know if he wanted it. It wasn't just sad, it was scary.
Both of them looked at the front door as it flung open, Hunter flinching hard at the loud bang. He flinched a lot, still getting used to the fact that loud sudden noises and people touching him didn't always automatically mean danger and that he was gonna get hurt. Eda walked in carrying groceries with a smile on her face, before looking towards the two boys, both having looks of concern plastered on their faces, with kind-looking confusion, his hands clenched nervously. Hunters stood tense, taking a step back, debating whether or not he should just run away, but he stayed.
“What's going on here?” she lifted her brow, noticing the tension in the room. Both boys just stared at her. She looked at King who stared at her, confused and worried, and Hunter, hell Hunter had a familiar look of pure terror on his face. King talked first.
“I uh, I heard Hunter and you talk in the shed.” Eda’s face instantly turned to suspicion, to shock, and then to worry.
“Well, uh, how much did you hear?”
“Most of it, uh.” he walked closer to Eda as she leaned down and he whispered in her ear, quiet enough so Hunter couldn't hear. “Is he gonna be ok?”
Hunter was really scared now, was the king talking about him? What was he saying? Was Eda gonna get mad at him? Was she gonna kick him out? He guessed that if he was kicked out he could go to Willows and see if she would take him, but if she didn't, he didn't have anywhere else to go, Flapjack attempted to chirp comfortingly, he had been perched on Hunter's shoulder the entire time, being uncharacteristically silent He was shaken out of his thoughts when the older witch started talking to the younger demon. She got down on one knee to King's level, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“King, do you know what was happening when me and Hunter were talking?” he shook his head, Eda looked at Hunter as if to ask if he wanted me to tell him, Hunter nodded. “Hunter was having a mental breakdown, it's sorta like a panic attack, you know what a panic attack is,” King nodded. He had witnessed a panic attack the night Luz and Hunter came out from Belos’s mind when Hunter panicked and ran off in fear. “Hunter was incredibly stressed because of everything that had happened. He felt bad about himself because he found out he was a grimwalker and because Belos cast him out. He felt overwhelmed and when people are overwhelmed like that they can think and do really scary things, some people even try to hurt themselves. Which is something no one should ever do to themselves no matter what, do you understand?” King nodded. “Hunter is ok now, and he isn't gonna try and hurt, right Hunter?” Eda didn't know if that was the right thing to say, but she didn't know if she was qualified to explain suicidal ideation and mental breakdowns to an eight-year-old.
“Yeah, yeah I’m not gonna hurt myself. Don't worry, King.”
“Ok, do you understand now?”
“Yeah, I think I do,” It was still tense, just for a moment because soon after Luz came bounding into the Living room.
“Luz! Ah, come help me but away groceries!” Eda said with a smile before leaving the two boys alone once again. They looked at each other for a moment before King asked.
“You still didn't answer my question, you know.” oh, he didn't really know how to, what was he supposed to say? King was strong, smart, and capable for his age, but he was still just a kid.
“I don't, I promise, you don't have to worry about that.” Hunter liked lying to him, but it seemed like the best thing to do at the time. King seemed content with the answer, this must have been really confusing and stressful for him. He felt incredibly guilty and bad for what he put King through, if he had just sucked it up and not run off crying like a baby this wouldn't have ever happened. “Now let's go help Eda and Luz with the groceries, ok?”