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A light pink background. Peter Parker was sat in the centre of the room, alone, waving at the camera with a grin. He was sat, legs crossed and wearing an MIT hoodie, black jeans as well as some fancy shoes that really didn’t go with the rest of his outfit, but he stole them from Tony for his first interview ever and was very excited to wear them.
“What’s up guys!” Peter said, grinning. “Very exciting day today, I am here with Buzzfeed and I am going to get to sit down with some puppies and answer some wonderful questions. I’m sure I won’t answer any of the questions ‘cause I will be so infatuated by these wonderful little puppies.”
“So I’m very excited to be here.” Peter smiled, staring off screen where he knew the puppies were. He could see them, but the audience couldn’t. It was tantalising. “Let’s do this, please bring me puppies.”
He’d chosen Buzzfeed as his first official interview after the announcement that he was the heir to Stark Industries. Now the official heir, the public was demanding more Peter content after his speech at the press conference they’d done. Peter had only agreed to do an interview if he did one of the puppy interviews that he’d seen Buzzfeed do with celebrities. Technically he wasn’t a celebrity, but his Instagram following had shot up over night after the announcement so when Buzzfeed had contacted them asking if he wanted an interview, Pepper had immediately accepted it.
“Are they gonna bring them all at once?” Peter asked, cooing. He gasped, “Awwww!”
The puppies flooded into the room: there were about five of them and one of the interviewers passed him a puppy directly, which he immediately pressed into his chest. He said softly, “Oh, hello. Hello little puppy.”
There was another one on the floor next to him, and Peter didn’t want to neglect any of them, so he reached over to say hi to it, “Oh, look, it’s okay.”
He scratched the back of the other puppy, still cradling the original one to his chest. Peter lifted up both of them to his nose in surprise, “Oh, they smell so good!”
Peter let go of the original two as they wanted to run around with the others. Another one approached him then, because he was letting them run rampant around him. “Hello! Hello!”
He lifted the puppy up to his face and said sweetly, “Oh, hello,” and then kissed it. “Mwah, mwah, mwah.”
One interviewer coughed. “Peter, are you ready for your first question?”
Peter nodded, “Sorry! They’re just so cute! Go for it.”
“So, you’re the internet’s favourite new teenager after your press conference,” The interviewer commenced. Peter knew that these questions would appear on the screen silently: he’d seen the interviews. It was super weird to be doing one himself. “As we don’t know you very well, we were wondering…tell us three things about yourself!”
“Huh, that’s a good one. Well,” Peter was thinking about it, but immediately got distracted. “Look at that puppy! I wonder what they think is going on.”
It must have been so weird to be a puppy, just circling round some random person they had never met before. Peter loved them all instantly, though, because they were simply adorable. One of them had collapsed in his lap, and he was stroking it as he watched the others run around.
Wait, the interviewer had asked him a question.
“Right, so, uhh, three things about myself. Um, I like science a lot, chemistry is probably my favourite subject,” Peter attempted, with one puppy on his lap and one in his arms. Another one approached, nudging him in the leg. “This one is double cute,” He picked it up with his other hand and held it up to his face.
The other puppy he’d been holding moved around in his arms, trying to jump out. “Hel— ooh do you wanna go play?” He let the puppy down, back onto the floor gently and shooed it away. “Go play, go play!”
He held the double cute one in his arms and then turned guiltily back to the interviewer. “What was your question?” The interviewer off-camera reminded him. “Three things about me, right—look at these dogs!”
They were going crazy again, and Peter couldn’t stop looking at them, not even to answer the question he’d been asked. “Stop it guys!”
He grinned and shook his head at the dogs running around, then focused. “Um, two more things. Uhhh, my favourite sweets are gummy worms, specifically the ones from Delmars in Queens, shout out to Mr Delmar!” Peter said, grinning. Mr Delmar was a good guy who could benefit from some publicity now he’d gotten his shop up and running again.
“Uhh, and my favourite franchise is Star Wars,” Peter struggled, then smiled. Awesome, he’d done one question. The Buzzfeed team consulted on what to ask him next, so he went back to playing with the puppies.
They were all jumping on him, and his favourite one jumped on him as he was stroking it. “This is beautiful, this little one,” He said to the dog handlers off screen, who were sat to the side of the room in case anything went wrong with the dogs.
As the dog crossed past him, walking over his legs to get to the other side, he said to it, “You’re like me, you’re the little one.” There was a collective chuckle across the room at that.
“Okay, next question,” The interviewer smiled, and Peter looked up from the puppies expectantly. “What’s it like being the heir to Stark Industries?”
Okay, familiar territory. This was one of the questions Pepper had asked him when they were doing interview prep. “It’s awesome, 10/10 would recommend. Yeah, no, seriously, I love getting to work with all the people at SI, they’re so cool.”
“Do you work in any specific department or is it everywhere?” The interviewer asked.
“Um, a bit of everywhere right now,” Peter said, “But mostly with the research and development gang to be honest—oh, hello.”
His favourite puppy had approached him again, but was being attacked by one of the others. “I think this one’s my favourite.” The other puppy tried to play with it, so he lifted his favourite one up, “No, no, no. It’s okay, I’ll protect you. Come up here.”
He cuddled it to his chest, then let it sit in his lap as he tickled it. “Oooohhh, little belly scratch.”
Peter then blinked, looked up at the interviewer. “What was your question again?” Had he answered it? He honestly didn’t remember, not with the puppy being right there and so cute. “What are we talking about?”
The interviewer chuckled. “No, it’s okay, we got it. Next one, uh, when did you find out about being the heir?”
“Oh, that’s a funny story actually, so—hello.” One of the dogs he hadn’t really interacted before bounced behind him, so he turned to play with it. “This is a big one, he’s gonna be a big dog.”
Peter loved dogs. He’d been trying to convince Tony to get him a dog for the past year, to no avail. Maybe if Tony saw these dogs, though….
Tony was actually in some important meeting, as was Pepper, so it had been Happy that had escorted him to his first proper interview. Happy didn’t really care for dogs, so he was sat in the corner of the room but Peter didn’t mind too much.
“So, what happened was Tony basically got me to some work with the other interns and then I was basically acting as CEO this one time—there’s this whole protocol, but I’m probably not supposed to talk too much about that,” Peter started, cuddling his favourite dog to his chest, who was going a bit crazy and hitting him on the cheek with his paw. The dog fell a bit and Peter caught him, “Oh no, careful, careful, careful.”
He hugged the dog to his chest. “So, yeah, I was the acting CEO and changing a bunch of things and then Tony approached me at the end of that whole experience and told me that I was the heir,” Peter clutched his favourite dog again, holding its paw and cradling it.
“Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle,” He said, scratching the belly of the dog. “And I’m rather embarrassed to admit this, but I actually fainted when I found out, which was awful, I mean like Mr Stark just tells me the coolest thing ever and I just faint, like, man….”
He was still mortified about it, and admitting it to the Internet probably wasn’t his finest idea, but hey, you only live once.
One of the puppies had started to bite his shoes. “Oh wow look this one is now loving my shoes.”
Peter remembered Tony giving him the shoes for a ‘special occasion’ and smiled slightly. “These aren’t my shoes, I’m borrowing them,” Oh well, Tony wouldn’t mind if they had puppy bitemarks on them, “So you can do whatever you want to them, man.”
Peter waved all of the other puppies over, pointing at his shoes. “Come on, get in there, get in there!”
The puppies collectively bit the fancy shoes. Peter watched in amusement. “Do you ever get anything done in these interviews?” He asked the interviewer, a genuine question. He didn’t see how any of the interviewees could possibly answer that many questions considering just how cute the puppies were. The rest of the people in the room laughed.
“Come here puppy,” He cooed, cuddling one to his chest as he reached out for another one.
“Okay, Peter, next question,” One of the women said, “So, are you planning on going to college? Is your hoodie an indication of which one you’re going to?”
Peter looked down at his hoodie, then grinned. “Oh, maybe. I don’t know, this is Tony’s hoodie. I keep stealing it,” He stroked the puppy in his lap as he answered. “Yeah, I’d love to go to MIT if they’d have me. And yes, I’m planning on going to college.”
He looked down at his shoes, where one of the dogs was still gnawing away at it like it was a four course meal. “I love the fact that this dog is chewing on these shoes.”
Peter reached forward to look at the shoe-eating puppy. “Are they tasty, the shoes?” He picked the puppy up like he was Rafiki and the puppy was Simba. “Hello beautiful.”
The Buzzfeed team had given him a bunch of toys for the dogs to play with, and a couple of them (the ones that weren’t trying to eat his shoes, at least), were playing with some of them. Two of them were fighting over one toy shaped like a burger and fighting with each other, jumping up and down. One of them growled slightly. He smiled. “Ooohhh.”
He turned his attention back to the dogs eating his shoes. “Wow these dogs are ripping these shoes, man. They’re Tony’s, you know. I can’t wait to send them back to him and be like, I’m so sorry.”
Peter inspected the puppies who were making good work of his shoes. He had one puppy to his chest as he did so. “It’s quite cute as well. Their little teeth can’t quite get into it.”
They were kind of nibbling on the shoes. One of them gnawed for a second and then nudged its head against the shoe. Peter laid down on the floor, letting the semi-asleep puppy onto his chest as he laid on his back completely, shoes out for the rest of the puppies to eat. None of the Buzzfeed people seemed to mind.
“What would you like to do over the next year?” The interviewer inquired.
Huh, that was a good question. Very vague. He looked up at the ceiling, “I’d like to travel the world some more, y’know. It’s always been a dream of mine, travelling.”
Peter shifted position, leaning more on his front and balancing on his elbow as he played with the puppies. “Mr Stark promised me that we’ll go to Italy in the summer, so there’s that. And Pepper says that I need to go with her to Hong Kong and Japan, to meet the board members from there, officially. So I guess, travelling. Yeah, I’ve got a lot planned, which is awesome.”
He laid down fully on his front, dangling his feet in the air behind him. One of the puppies was being a little menace. “Hello puppy, oh, hello puppy.” Peter then fake growled at it and cuddled it.
“This one just want to go to bed,” Peter picked it up: it was his favourite one again. “You can go to sleep and live with us in the Tower,” He said in a cute voice, “Cause you are gonna be our puppy.”
He was perfectly content to plan a life with this puppy, and had half a mind to call May and Tony and ask for permission to literally adopt it, because, hello, this puppy was the cutest thing ever and had entirely captured his heart.
“Hello, awww, I’m gonna lie down with you…oooooh,” He picked up the puppy and lied on his back again. The puppy sat on his stomach whilst the rest of them were circling around him excitedly, playing with their toys. He slowly stroked its head.
With one dog on his stomach asleep, another in the process of biting his shoes off, and the others play fighting next to him, Peter was entirely content. He watched the shoe-eating dog. “This dog loves my shoes.”
“Next question is what did your family think when they found out about you being the heir?”
Peter raised his eyebrows. Guess they didn’t know about his family history. Well, he wasn’t going to be the one to tell them that he was an orphan, they could find out at some point. Not his job.
“Well, my aunt, she—” Peter didn’t want the play fighting ones to wake the little one on his stomach up so he stopped answering to scold them, “Guys, guys, guys.”
“My aunt actually found out before me,” Peter told them, continuing with the story. “Tony had to get her to sign some forms ‘cause I’m under 18 and all that, but apparently she wasn’t that surprised, according to both of them.”
The puppy on his stomach decided he wanted to go and join the fun, “Where are you going man?” Peter let the puppy run off. He sat up, relieved of the weight on his stomach. “This one has stopped nibbling my shoes and started nibbling my ankle.”
Peter stroked one of the others he hadn’t paid very much attention to, “This is a very cute one,” He picked it up, “He or she?” He looked down at its private parts, and made a querying face, and then nodded. “She.”
The rest of the people in the room chuckled, and one of them women said, “Okay to get back to questioning?”
He kept getting distracted by the puppies, but he couldn’t help it. They were just so cute. “Yup, yup.”
“Who in your contacts would answer immediately if you FaceTimed them right now?”
“I mean, Tony always answers when I call him.” Peter shrugged. “Yeah, Tony would probably answer.”
Peter grinned, thinking of an idea. “In fact…” Peter pulled out his Starkphone. “Let’s try it, why not.”
Peter scrolled on his contacts as a puppy crawled up his chest. “Okay, let’s go.”
Tony picked up after the very first ring. “Kid, you okay?”
“Wow,” Peter said, grinning, showing his phone to the camera. Tony was wearing a suit jacket and a t-shirt, glasses tucked onto the t-shirt. “You really love me, huh?”
“I’m debating whether or not to hang up,” Tony muttered, and Peter pulled the phone back so he could see Tony, “Say hi to the board.”
Oh, shit, yeah, Tony was in a board meeting. Peter blushed with embarrassment as the members of the board waved at him through the phone, and then the camera panned back around to Tony.
“So, why are you calling? Puppy emergency?” Tony drawled sarcastically.
“It was one of the questions, who would pick up immediately if I called them,” Peter informed him, smiling contagiously. It just happened whenever he saw Tony.
“Well that’s embarrassing,” Tony commented. “So you’re good? All puppied-up and answering questions?”
“Yup,” Peter lowered the camera to show the puppy who was asleep on his chest. “This one’s my favourite. What do you think about adopting a dog?”
“Hmm,” Tony frowned. “I think you’re going to have to convince me a bit more, bring a PowerPoint to movie night.”
“What if I just bring this little guy along?” Peter asked, pointing the camera back at the asleep puppy and then back to him, pouting the way he did when he wanted something. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t.
“I’ll consider,” Tony said. “Final offer.”
“Awesome,” Peter grinned. “Have a good meeting, bye!”
Then he hung up and turned to the interviewer. “Was that okay?” He felt like he’d kind of overstepped, not consulting them before calling Tony. He probably should have checked, but hey, spontaneity was sometimes better with these things. At least it was realistic.
“Perfect, actually,” The cameraman said, focusing the camera again. “The viewers are going to love that.” Peter smiled.
“Hello man,” One of puppies approached him, so he picked it up. “I’m gonna go in levels of cuteness, this one is pretty cute.” He held it out to show the dog handlers, nodding at them.
“Maybe that’s what we need in the Tower,” Peter thought, “Like in the R&D labs, a team dog. So when we’re sciencing and shit, we have a little buddy like you to keep us motivated.” He brought the dog up to his face and made cute noises at it for a second.
One of the other dogs whimpered a bit, running towards the dog handlers. Peter blinked, “Are you okay man?” The dog spun around in a circle, going crazy and Peter’s eyes widened, looking at the camera. “Relax, bro.”
The others had circled around his outstretched shoes.
Peter grinned, “I love that they are nibbling on these shoes.” He glanced to the side, where some people were standing in wait. One of them was a stylist that he’d rejected in favour of wearing his mismatched outfit, again to be more real. “How much are these shoes?”
He figured if anyone knew, it would be the stylist that Buzzfeed had offered him. It took him a few seconds to look it up, but promptly the man said offscreen, “Uh, about $1800?”
Peter’s mouth fell open in shock — for shoes, that was crazy!
“1800 bucks?!” Then he grinned, thinking, hey, fuck capitalism. “Get in there guys!” He encouraged the dogs to carry on eating the shoes, which they did. The shoes, up close, looked absolutely wrecked.
“Peter, what was it like meeting Tony and Pepper for the first time?”
“Well, I met Tony ages ago,” Peter smiled, “He was in my living room, offering me an internship because he’d seen some of my science stuff, so, that’s how we met. It was super cool actually, yeah, really awesome. And I first met Pepper in Tony’s lab, it was like 10pm and she was trying to get us to finally eat some food, so that was cool too.”
“Did you freak out when you met Tony?”
“Oh, he’s like my main inspiration, like, that’s my hero just standing right there in my living room so yeah, it was crazy. I had Iron Man pyjamas in my room, y’know. It’s so insane that I get to speak to him.”
Two of the puppies promptly fell asleep in his lap, all curled next to each other whilst he had his legs outstretched and keeping stable with his hands placed behind him. One of the other playful puppies tried to wander over him, over the two asleep dogs.
“Careful, careful, your buddy is trying to sleep there,” Peter lifted the puppy up and helped him across without disturbing the others.
“Are you excited about the upcoming Stark Gala?” The interviewer asked. “Rumours are you will be in attendance…”
Peter would be in attendance, but he technically wasn’t supposed to say anything about it, so he just gave a wry smile and said, “It’s very exciting, but not as exciting as the fact that this dog has chosen to come home with me.”
His favourite puppy had chosen to settle back into his lap, and he looked at the dog handlers who were all awwing with cuteness. Peter knew full well that the puppies were up for adoption, and would be convincing Tony with a Powerpoint of pictures of Peter and his favourite dog, listed alongside reasons to adopt a puppy. Peter was pretty sure Tony would cave quickly.
He stroked some of the puppies. “I can’t believe how soft they are.”
One of them tried to crawl over the other sleeping ones again. “You are a little terror, you are,” He said, picking it up. Peter smiled. “He’s like, ‘you’re all trying to sleep, get up.’”
The questions kept coming. “Whose the most famous person you’ve met?”
“Huh, that would have to be the President, I guess, but I’m not sure if I’m supposed to say that,” Peter winked at the camera. “Tony and I went to Washington, some of y’all got pictures with him and I was probably the cameraman, bet you regret not getting a photo with me now…joke, joke!”
Peter grinned. He’d actually been encountered on the street by a couple of fans, despite the fact that Peter had done nothing, only one speech. He’d just rolled up to one press conference and now he was famous, had people making stan accounts on twitter for him and saying he looked cute when he was spotted in public. It was wild.
The two puppies on his lap were sleeping, and one of the others padded along and looked like he was going to join the others in their sleeping. “Please go in there and get comfy, it would be so cute. Nope, you’re just gonna walk all over him.”
Peter reached forwards and kissed the air, squeaking a toy to get some of the other puppies to come closer to him (the non-sleeping ones, at least). “Hey. Oh, there’s a shoe there man.” He said as one of them stumbled over his shoes.
Another question, then. “Is there anyone you’d like to see doing an interview with us in the future?”
“Yeah, I think for me it would be so—OW, OW, OW, OW.” Peter winced as one of the dogs started to eat his ankle instead of the shoe. He wrestled the dog off his ankle gently. “Careful!”
“I think it would be super cool for you guys to do this with Tony. He hates interviews with a passion but puppies might make it worth it.” Peter smiled. “Or maybe a joint interview. Him and Pepper, or him and me?”
The interviewer turned around to look at one of the people directing the show, “Write that down!”
The director immediately scribbled something down in a notepad.
“Wow, I have really wrecked my clothes.” Peter said as he looked down at his clothing, distracted by it. “There is a hole in these trousers, and I’m never going to be able to give these shoes back to Tony.”
The dogs which had been sitting in his lap shifted so one of them was on the bottom, touching the floor, and the other larger one was sleeping on top of the other one. “That is so cute. How is that comfortable for him on the bottom?!”
When he was saying that to the dog handlers, the other excitable puppies started jumping over the cute sleepy ones and waking them up. “No, guys, guys! I’m so sorry,” He apologised to the puppies who were sleeping.
Peter moved his arms forward to shield the sleeping ones like a cage. “I’ll protect you guys, you can go back to sleep.”
One of the excited puppies collapsed by his shoes, and Peter picked it up to bring it closer to him. “Come and join the cuddle, come and join this cuddle.”
The interviewer proposed another question. “If you could go and rewatch a book or a movie for the first time again, which one would you?”
“Any book, I’d probably have to say the Harry Potter books. Like to go back and read over those…but I don’t support JK Rowling, anymore, so I don’t know,” Peter frowned. “Movie, I’d see Empire Strikes Back to rewatch— spoilers if you haven’t seen it, press that little 10 seconds button if you’re on Youtube, that button now,” Peter mimicked pressing it, “To avoid spoilers — the scene where Vader says he’s Luke’s father, that blew my mind when I was a kid, yeah.”
One of the puppies excitedly jumped up and down his hoodie, once, twice, again. “Hello, hello. What are you going through?”
The puppy jumped close to his neck, and it made the mic move slightly, probably fucking up the recording He chuckled. “What’s happening here, man?”
It calmed down and sat next to him, leaving the sleeping one alone on his lap. Peter pointed at the one in his lap. “This is the one for me.”
Then he turned around to look at the other excitable puppies.
“And that is definitely,” He commented as one of them jumped on another, before getting distracted by their play fight, “Look at this guy! Yeah, get it, get it, get it.”
The excited ones jumped over the sleeping one on his lap yet again in their attempt to fight each other. “Awwww, I know.” The sleeping one looked disgruntled, so Peter picked it up. “We’re going to put you up here, so you’re out of the way. There we go.” He cuddled his favourite into his chest.
“Okay, Peter, I think we have enough to wrap up there, that was wonderful. Are you okay to do the outro message?”
“Yup,” Peter cuddled his favourite to his chest, and all of the others were taken away out of the shot for him to do the outro message, which was a thing about where the puppies came from and that they could be adopted. “Look, they’ve all left, and there’s one final candidate. He likes the taste of my make-up,” Peter chuckled as the puppy licked his neck, covered in foundation.
“All of these puppies are adoptable,” He said to the camera, “And this one here’s my favourite. Thanks Buzzfeed for letting me do my first ever interview with puppies!”
And then they were done. He did a photoshoot with the puppies for his PowerPoint, and also took a couple posed ones for his Instagram, and then said goodbye to the rest of the puppies. The dog handler had to actually carry his favourite out of his arms because it had fallen asleep on him. (He never wanted to let it go).
Tony saw one (1) picture of Peter with his favourite puppy before he called the adoption agency to inform them they were adopting it. Peter didn’t even get to slide two of the 32 slide long PowerPoint to get Tony to agree. Peter had just grinned and punched the air in delight, because, hell yeah they were getting a puppy.
When the video came out on YouTube, it became the most watched Puppy Interview Buzzfeed had ever done, and immediately shot to number one on the Trending page of YouTube, staying there for the entire day. Peter was kind of stunned at the reception it had, and was fairly curious as to what the comments were saying, so he scrolled down a couple hours after it was published onto the website, and as he read over some of them, he decided that yeah, his first interview had been a success.
5,323 comments:
tigerlily204: him actively cheering while puppies attempt to eat his $1800 shoes is INCREDIBLE
ploat: lol he’s so nonchalant about the fact that it’s Tony’s hoodie, amazing.
eightten: OMG ITS TONY’S HOODIE??? I CANT EVEN WITH THEM.
peterprkrfan: peter saying tony always picks up and then him picking up at 08:38 after the first ring is SO funny omg
mars101: lmao he just loses his train of thought every other second