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Mark never asked for fame. He just wanted a family. One day, by the time Mark hits High School, he wanted to meet a beautiful, lovely, Catholic girl to bring home. He hoped that his family would be so kind to the girl. Mark hoped to win Prom King with his girlfriend as Prom Queen. He wanted to dance with her, and see the sparkle in her eyes, the tenderness of her touch, and he wanted nothing more than to dance. And dance, and dance, and dance. He would know, right away that this was the one. Then, he wanted to go to the same college with her. Any college, she can choose, and they can be the It couple there, too. Later in life, Mark will propose to her, at a park, and she will say yes before even beginning to think about it. A few months later, they'll have the wedding, and he'll smile as his soon-to-be wife walks down the aisle, in her beautiful white dress. He can see both of his parents crying, and Joey was crying too, with his girlfriend holding his hand. Simon will be there too, even though he hasn't been with the family for ages, because he's just so excited to see his youngest brother get married to such a beautiful and caring woman, albeit one that he hasn't even met. He's had thoughts about their honeymoon, and them in a bed with red satin sheets, holding each other's hands. He couldn't wait until his girlfriend announced that he was going to be a father, and they hug, and Mark helps with the pregnancy for nine months, and they have the most beautiful kid in the world. Suddenly, they'd have a beautiful house in Greenwood, close to his old childhood house. They'd have at least one more kid after that, and a dog too, just for good measure. Every anniversary, they go to the place that they met, and then they take their kids out for lunch, at some fast-food place. And Mark and his someday wife will never have days that were happier than the many days with each other.
But then, Mark danced with Matthew for fun. It was a dumb thing, a High School homecoming dance where Matthew's current girlfriend was sick and neither of them had any dates, so they paired off with each other so their dancing skills could be used that night. Matthew was also Catholic, and he was dashing, and polite, and he really was the nicest guy. His family doesn't like how he hangs out with him, mostly because Matthew's beliefs were a lot more liberal than theirs, but Mark wishes that they could give him a shot. Suddenly, as they were dancing, Mark noticed the sparkle in his eyes, the tenderness in his touch, and his adorable smile, and how great he looks in that tuxedo. It made Mark smile, a little, too. Who was Mark kidding? He's never smiled more. He never wanted the music to stop. They had no chance at winning Prom King of the class of 1997, neither of them, but that didn't matter to Mark, and it definitely didn't matter to Matthew. They were going to different colleges, but they've made plans to talk, and they've already made plans for reunions next year; them and their closest friends. Seeing Matthew made Mark imagine a future with him. He could ask if Matthew wanted to live with him, and Matthew immediately agreeing and letting Mark hug him. Mark would never propose, but, if Matthew proposed first, Mark would say yes in a heartbeat. If two boys were allowed to get married. At the wedding, Mark can see Matthew walking down the aisle, looking so, so handsome, but Mark was also thinking that maybe he could walk down the aisle instead. Joey and his girlfriend might still be there, and Mark doesn't care as much about Simon anymore. What about his parents? Maybe, they'll still love him. Somehow, the two of them will have children together, and Matthew's more of a cat person, so maybe they can have both a cat and a dog, and still the beautiful house in Greenwood. The only problem is, the two of them met when Matthew was defending Mark from bullies, so where would they go when they first met? The street? Maybe, Matthew's childhood house, where he took Mark afterwards, to wash up and gave him an ice pack.
At least, that's ideally. But Matthew doesn't love him. Matthew has a girlfriend, he's in love with her, she just happened to be sick that day. If she wasn't, then she and Matthew would dance the night away, and Mark would stand there, trying to pretend to be happy for one of his best friends, in hopes that maybe he'll realize that he has made a mistake, and maybe he'd go back to Mark. But, even if he did, would Mark go for it? He knows that these feelings are wrong, and no one else at this school has a problem with this. No one else at this school is wondering why them and praying to God to let them change. Mark would take any girl; he just doesn't want feelings for a boy. That word... gay. He was taught never to use it; never to describe himself. He was taught that it was a negative word and, if you're associated with it, that automatically makes you a bad person. So, what can Mark do to make that silly word stop describing him? He knows that Simon would never be at the wedding, and neither would his parents. Their union would never be supported. They'd never even have the wedding, because it's not legal in Ohio, and perhaps it never will be. This dance is going to stop, so Mark should stop noticing the sparkle in his eyes, or the tenderness of his touch. They'll never be an It couple. Instead, they're going to be tormented, because the Fort. Green High School class of 1997 would hate them. Mark is more likely to win Prom Queen than Prom King. And Mark's always wanted children. He's been good with them. But that's not happening. Not if he doesn't fix himself. Not if his prayers, and begging don't work, as they don't seem to be. Mark's tried to like girls. He's dated some, naively thinking that they were going to be the one to fix him, and that never happened. Mark is still...that. He's not gay. He can't be. Mark hates boys. Platonically, he hates boys. With the exception of his band, all of his real friends have been girls. But, romantically? Mark has been into them, more than he's ever been into women. And, he hates it. All he's ever wanted is to be normal.
Mark thought that he would know his wife by now. Instead, he knows despair and fear.