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Mickey has yet to crack open the bottle of whiskey and soak his worries in the sting. He left the bottle sitting idle on the table.
Everything has gone to shit lately with Ian: he hasn't gotten out of bed in a week, only eats a few crumbs from the meal that Mickey gave him, and Fiona is on his ass about throwing him into the nut house.
Every time Mickey lies down, his mind spins. He is so damn exhausted and yet cannot sleep. A bit worse for wear, he hugs Ian with every ounce of love he had beating in his heart. Ian doesn't hug him back even when Mickey presses a kiss to his cheek. Ian lies in his arms, still and silent with dewdrop tears sliding down his cheeks.
Mickey's mind wouldn’t turn off; worry and anxiety ran through him every second of every day. He couldn't remember the last time he had a good night's sleep. Exhausted, he passes out one night, only to be woken a few hours later by a loud scream. Running into the kitchen, Ian stands with a knife in hand, blood dripping from his slit wrist.
Mickey steps towards him, but Ian gradually backs away from Mickey, dropping the bloody knife. His wrist is a weeping wound as tears slide down his cheeks.
“He may have to be hospitalized.” Fiona's words echo in his mind, but he refuses to give in. He can take care of Ian.
“You are not a burden; I love you. I will be there for you. We can go to the clinic and get you some fucking meds, but don't you ever harm yourself.” Mickey gently whispers as he moves closer.
Ian sniffles, shaking, “I'm sorry, Mickey,” and he can't even look at his boyfriend. He feels so ashamed.
He wouldn’t blame Mick for leaving him; no one wants to endure this shit, but Mickey doesn’t frighten easy. He snatches up a towel and wraps Ian's wrist and hugs Ian in a bone-crushing embrace.
Mickey is not going anywhere; he loves Ian, and love means they take care of each other. Good times, bad, sickness, health: all that shit. Ian shatters, crying like a wounded animal ensnared in a death trap as he clings to Mickey. Ian is calmer once Mickey has gently bandaged his wrist. Mickey brushes kisses to the gauze as if kisses are magic that can heal, then he gets Ian back into bed, and bone-weary exhaustion sends Ian to sleep.
As he dreams, Mickey hides all the knives, and they will stay hidden until Ian perks back up.
Returning to the bedroom, he hugs Ian with all the love in his heart. Soft touches and sweet kisses wrap Ian up in the warmth of adoration. Hands touched sleepy, soft skin with tender caresses.
Mickey still worries about what the future holds, but for now, Ian is safe and they are together, snuggled up cozy and warm, and for tonight, life in this hellish world is somewhat perfect.
The depression comes and goes, like the tide of the sea. It flows away from the heart for a time yet returns to drown Ian until it retreats away once again. There are good times and bad, and Mickey is always there for his soulmate. He meant it when he told Fiona, “We are taking care of him, you and me, us. He’s fucking family!”
Ian hasn’t spoken in two days. Mickey is concerned, yes, of course he is, but not overly frightful, at least not yet. He has hope. He knows with all his heart that Ian is on the downward slide of a depression drop, and while he has spent most of his time in bed, he has eaten and even taken a shower. He still sleeps a lot, but Mickey doesn’t fear all hope is lost. He can see a beautiful light in Ian's eyes.
He knows Ian will come out of the sadness; until then, he sticks close by. Not too close to smother him, giving Ian enough space while also being there should Ian need him. And if Ian falls into sadness, Mickey is there when Ian sobs brokenly. Mickey nuzzles his neck in comfort, trying to soothe him, and brushes his hand through Ian’s hair, petting him gently. Ian has taken to keeping his long hair; he sits between Mickey's legs, still, calm, and silent as Mickey brushes the comb through his hair, singing to him.
Ian has a soft smile on his face as he closes his eyes, and Mickey knows Ian is going to come out of the darkness. He gently slides the comb through Ian's hair, humming softly, and he is given the best gift of the day when Ian suddenly pulls him into a tight hug, smiling with the beautiful grin Mickey has ever seen.
Slowly, with each passing day, Ian gets a little better, healthier. Fiona is still worried, wanting to send Ian to the hospital, but Mickey can see the bright light coming from the dark. Love is a miracle. It can overcome the most terrible emotional pain and weather any storm of the soul. One day at a time, Ian gets a little better until the dark days have passed and laughter and smiles have returned.
In a way, it has become second nature to Ian, as easy as breathing. Something he needs, like water, air, or food. The night is late, and his mind is hushed of racing thoughts in the calm of night. Tucked away in bed, they cuddle. Mickey threads their fingers together and tugs Ian in close to him. Pressed from head to toe, Mickey spooned around Ian, and he felt Ian breathe a sigh, his warm body melting into the comforting embrace.
Mickey was a weight at Ian's back, soft and soothing, and the heat soaked into his clothes and wrapped around him like a cozy blanket.
Come morning, his eyes seem brighter, his smile happier, and when Mickey wraps an arm around his waist to give him a little snuggle hug, pressing a kiss to his cheek, Ian's smile beams like a vibrant sun. It is such a rare sight to see Ian so calm, almost angelically peaceful.
“I love you.” Ian tenderly whispers and kisses Mickey's cheek softly.
Mickey grins, softly whispering, “I love you, too.”
He wraps his arm around Ian, pulling him into a tight hug. He can feel Ian’s chest moving with every breath he takes... In and out, in and out. Ian can breathe easy now.
And later in the day, when Ian pulls him out into the rainstorm one spring day, they dance in the dewdrop rain, with Ian smiling brightly for the first time in a while. Mickey is soaked to the bone and feels stupid spinning around and around with his boyfriend, but Ian is delightful, and his heart is pure of sadness, and that is all that matters to Mickey.
With the power of love, they can overcome any hardship.
♥ END ♥