Archive of Our Own

I’m really not cut out for this Shouta thought as he wrapped the second hairband at the end of Eri’s left braid. It had been forty five minutes of pulling, tugging, brushing, teasing, and praying to any god that would listen, and all he had to show for it was two lopsided braids and a thoroughly disappointed little girl. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t tried. He had looked it up online, and watched some video instructions. It all seemed so simple. Then reality had set in

He briefly thought of the bows that Asui tied into her hair every day, and the high pony that Yaoyaorozu came in with. How on earth did they manage those more complex looks with ease, when he couldn’t even manage to tie a damn braid? Shouta sighed deeply and stepped back from the high backed kitchen chair he had sat Eri in. She turned back to him, and when she saw he was finished, she slid off the seat, stretching and rubbing her back. Shouta knew the result was not worth the pain. 

Eri walked over to the bathroom and hopped up onto the step stool he had bought for her, peering into the mirror and surveying his work. He stood in the doorway, keeping space from her while she looked at the mess he had created of her beautiful hair. Eri held one braid in her hand, turning it left and right. Shouta could see her eyes landing on every misplaced lock, every white bump and loose curl. I’m really, really not cut out for this . 

He understood the logic in having Eri live with him, he was the only one who could cancel out her quirk should she lose control of it after all, but that didn’t make him qualified to be her guardian. Shouta was used to teenagers and their teenage issues. Yes his students might end up crying in his office from time to time, and yes he had to wrestle with the idea of each of them dying in a painful terrifying way because he didn’t teach them enough, but at least none of his students had ever asked him to style their hair. 

“Ah…” Eri trailed off, clearly searching for something to say. Shouta was just hoping she wouldn’t burst into tears. That would be the final straw proving he wasn’t up to the challenge of trying to raise her. “It…”

Here it comes

“I-It’s very cute!” Eri exclaimed, the false excitement easily betrayed by her teary eyes and her barely there smile. Shouta felt his own heart melt a little at her attempts to remain positive and he sighed, walking into the bathroom to stand behind her.

“Well don’t push yourself,” He murmured, giving her reflection a soft glance. Eri’s not quite grin turned into a full beam when she saw his expression, and her dismay at Shouta’s attempts completely vanished. She turned around and patted him on the arm twice, hopping down off of her stool and going back into the kitchen. Then Shouta was alone, just him and the mirror that betrayed exactly how exhausted this whole ordeal had made him. 

This was just the first time he had tried to do anything beyond brushing Eri’s hair, but he knew it wouldn’t be the last. Ever since Hado had pulled her hair up into those pigtails, Eri had delighted in looking at complex hairstyles online whenever she could. He couldn’t deny her the simplest pleasure of wanting to look like every other little girl in the world, but Shouta had no idea how he was going to achieve it. He had only one idea. I’m going to have to call in reinforcements. 

Midnight

Thirteen

Hizashi

Pussycats

Nezu?

Hado

No, she's busy working in Ryukyu’s agency right now, Shouta thought as he crossed off the young woman’s name. Besides , I’d rather not end up having Nejire in my house asking a thousand questions and picking up my cats . 

It was a pathetically short list, and the results were even sadder. Shouta had never been an outgoing person per say, but he had thought he might know more potential hair stylists than this. Well he did know more, but he wasn’t close enough to any of them to ask for this strange favor. A throat clearing dragged the teacher out of his thoughts and he looked up from the paper he had been scribbling on. Most of his class was still pretending to study while obviously chatting to one another using their phones, but Yaoyaorozu had her hand high in the sky. Shouta hummed and made eye contact with her, indirectly asking her to speak up. 

“Sensei, are we just going to be having a self study session for the rest of the day?” I’ll answer you Momo if you tell me exactly how you manage to not get your hair mangled putting it up that way, Shouta thought, idly considering banging his head against his desk. He glanced up at the clock and saw there was only ten minutes left in the period. He had finished his grading a little while ago, his list was going nowhere, and the kids had clearly given up on paying attention. Might as well give them a rare treat.

“If you all feel confident that you are going to ace your History exam tomorrow, you can have the rest of the period to yourselves,” He grumbled, cracking his neck to one side and then the other as he spoke. The sound was lost under the immediate cacophony of voices as his students jumped at the opportunity to take the break their teacher had offered. Iida was shouting about respecting elders as the rest of the class began to congregate into clusters, hopping onto desks and pulling out chairs to make circles. 

Shouta abandoned his frustrating mission of trying to find someone to help him with his dilemma, choosing to take the few minutes left to subtly observe his students. This was the hidden half of teaching that no one ever talked about. The parts that were about making sure your students stayed steady, the parts where you had to look for anomalies. Hizashi had once joked that teaching was only 10% about getting through the material and 90% about being a round the clock therapist. Shouta had rolled his eyes at that comment, but after the calamity that was this school year, he took that passing joke with a grain of salt. 

Bakugou’s group of misfits had congregated around his desk and they were doing their level best to irritate him into a minor explosion. Shouta wasn’t worried, the kid’s shoulders were relaxed and his voice was loud but not in the way that spelled trouble. He might have a scorched desk and Bakugou might get a day of detention, but nothing major. Hagakure was bouncing around Ojiro as he chatted with Shoji, and Midoriya had migrated over to the other side of the room to sit by Uraraka and Asui while he continued to take copious notes in his journal. No villain attacks, no evil, just a simple fall afternoon. 

He would never admit this to anyone, but Shouta was happy to see that they could still do things like this. This class had been through more than any he had ever had before in such a short period of time, and he worried that they would be fundamentally changed from all that they had suffered. Yet here they were, gossiping and joking as if they had never gone through any adversity. Kids are more flexible than adults, they bounce back faster. 

Then he saw it. 

Uraraka was laughing at something Iida had done, probably unintentionally funny if Shouta knew anything about him. She was still giggling as she sat on the desk in front of Asui’s chair and pulled the girl’s long green locks into her hands, pulling out the bow of hair that sat at the bottom and beginning to comb her fingers through. Shouta watched with envy as she easily pulled her friend’s hair into a high bun, wrapping a braid around it and tying it off with a hairband from around her wrist. There were no knots, no frayed hairs, none of the pitfalls Shouta had practically thrown himself into doing Eri’s hair. Just a pretty bun that attracted some of the other girls over to ask for the same thing in their hair. 

No, I'm definitely not going to do that, Shouta argued against himself as the obvious plan began to formulate in his mind. Uraraka wouldn’t have a problem with it though, she would want to help in fact. Eri likes her a lot, she would trust her to mess with her hair. It’s the most logical solution. 

It was the most logical solution. That didn’t change the fact that Shouta didn’t want to admit to his student that a braid had been his undoing. 

Then he watched her do the same thing in Momo’s hair.

 And Hagakure’s too. 

Shouta wasn’t even sure how she managed to do that, or how any of them knew she did, but she certainly had if Hagakure’s happy squeals were anything to go by. Uraraka was even eyeing Jiro’s hair by this point. Shouta’s mind drifted back to the lumpy mess he had made of Eri’s hair, and he sighed. Admitting defeat was better than having to see her sad eyes again. As he made his decision, the bell rang, and the class began to pack up to go back to the dorms. 

“Uraraka, stay after class,” Shouta gritted out, resisting the urge to bang his head against the desk. The girl seemed perplexed, and a little nervous, but she waved her friends along and approached his desk. He must’ve been glaring, because her nervous energy increased, and she began to play with the straps of her backpack. Shouta forced himself to take a deep breath and closed his eyes. Acting like a lunatic won’t help the issue. You’re Eraserhead, you’ve dealt with worse than this . 

“Did I do something wrong, Aizawa-san?” She finally blurted out, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. 

“No you didn’t,” He replied automatically, still searching for the right way to phrase what he was going to ask, “I actually need your help with something.”

“Oh!” Uraraka exclaimed, instantly brightening. She beamed and straightened her spine, no longer curled up under the weight of stressing that she had broken some unseen rule, “How can I help?”

You can help me by magically giving me your hairstyling powers and making it so I never have to have this conversation. Shouta felt the familiar pain of a migraine begin behind his right eye and he pressed one palm flat against his face. The warm pressure wasn’t going to stop the headache now that it started, but it would give him enough time to finish this conversation before he had to go hide in his dark office for a few hours to sleep it off

“I- Eri needs someone to help her with her hair,” Aizawa stated, the words sounding lame to him even as they came out. Uraraka cocked her head to the side and gave him a funny look.

“Her hair?” Shouta sighed again, his previous frustration building in time with the pain in his skull.

“She’s not old enough to take care of it herself yet, and I saw that you have the necessary skills. I assumed you would want to make her happy.” He grumbled. Emotional manipulation wasn’t quite fair, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Shouta knew that his students would move heaven and earth to make Eri happy, he had seen it for himself, he had just added that last sentence to try and end the torture of asking a fifteen year old for help as quickly as he could. 

“Necessary skills... do you mean the braid I did for Tsu?” Uraraka asked, and Shouta nodded once. She gaver a short laugh, and Shouta resisted the urge to give her detention just for the sound. It’s not her fault you can’t manage a braid. It is pretty ridiculous. He was so caught in his thoughts that he almost missed her next words. “Yeah I’m happy to do one for Eri, but maybe it would just be easier to send you the video I learned from-”

“No!” Shouta snapped, barely concealing the wince from his own loud tone. His migraine was devolving quickly now, but the idea of another round of battling Eri’s hair seemed more painful. Uraraka was staring at him now, and Shouta resigned himself to having to explain to her. 

“My attempts to use a video have been...less than satisfactory.” Understatement of the century. “If you’re able to, you could come in the mornings and then go to homeroom at the same time that I do. You wouldn’t be late for any of your studies.” 

Uraraka had a hand on her chin and he could see her thoughts running a mile a minute. Whatever conundrum she was working out must have righted itself, because she nodded to herself and turned back to him. 

“Wellllll, I have an idea that will definitely help?” Looking at the young girl’s expression, Shouta found himself wishing he had just bitten the bullet and asked Nejire for help. 

“Now you put the right section in the middle, then the left. Back and forth like that over and over till you get something like this,” Uraraka instructed, showing off the perfect plait she had woven into Yaoyaorozu’s hair. Shouta looked down at the mess of green in his own hands and vaguely considered leaving and just taking Eri to get her hair cut. 

He wasn’t sure how the situation had gotten this bad, but it had gone from Uraraka coming to do Eri’s hair in the morning to him coming to the dorms in the afternoon for the girls to teach him how to style it himself. I’m going to review every dumbass decision I have ever made in my life, starting with becoming a teacher and ending with being born in the first place. Shouta thought, trying to tug the snarl he had created out and only succeeding in pulling a pained ribbit out of Asui. Uraraka saw the mess and laid Momo’s hair down, sticking her own fingers into the mess and soothing out the knots with careful movements that Shouta simply couldn’t follow. 

“Here, just do it like this,” He watched her do the same braiding technique in Asui’s hair, and then take it out for her teacher to copy. Shouta growled out a muttered string of curses and gathered up his own hair instead, pulling it into a low ponytail and keeping it out of his face. Once he had full visibility, he took his student’s hair back in his hands, once more attempting what Uraraka had shown him. 

“How exactly is this simpler than just letting you do this for Eri?” He protested, not complaining. No not complaining after two hours of attempting and failing to learn the same exact thing over and over. 

“I told you Sensei,” She repeated with infinite amounts of patience, “Having me come over every day won’t solve the problem. Besides once you learn the basics, you can do just about any hair style she asks for on your own! It’s...logical!” 

His student’s never ending positive attitude was admirable, but Shouta honestly couldn’t stand it at times. There was nothing positive about the rats nest he was making of Asui’s hair, or his complete inability to do the simplest of styles. If he couldn’t get this, he would never be able to do anything like what Eri wanted, and that would only lead to her being even more disappointed. 

“I’m not cut out for this,” Shouta murmured to himself, not realizing that the three girls around him could hear his mutterings, “Take her in, Shouta. It’ll be easy, Shouta. You deal with kids all the time, Shouta. Yeah I deal with kids who are practically adults themselves. No chance of irrevocably ruining them. It’s not the same at all.” 

“Ummm Aizawa?” Yaoyaorozu said delicately, and Shouta groaned. Of course they had heard everything he had just said. Because this wasn’t all difficult enough. Yaomomo seemed slightly uncomfortable, but she pushed past her polite nature to address what she had just heard, “For whatever it might be worth, I think you are doing a lovely job with helping Eri to adjust,” 

“Yeah, totally!” Uraraka jumped in, “At the very least you’re trying really hard. I mean you’ve spent the last two hours trying this just to do something to make her happy. That’s pretty Plus Ultra,” 

I must be pretty desperate if hearing my student’s opinions is making me feel better, Shouta thought half-heartedly, but there was no denying that the small encouragements were having a large effect. He hadn’t expected to need that kind of rally, but then again he had been thrown into the deep end of child raising with little help except for what he might ask for, so it made sense that he might be looking for someone to tell him he wasn’t completely screwing up with Eri. A perfectly logical necessity. 

All three girls were looking at him, clearly waiting for him to say something. They expected him to confide in them the way that their classmates did in one another. Shouta wasn’t going to do that, but he did feel ever so slightly more comfortable in asking for their help. 

“What’s next?” Uraraka launched into the set of directions, and Shouta followed them with a laser intensity. Before too long they were at the end of the video. 

“Okay now put the bow on the side and you’re done!” She exclaimed, putting her own bow in Momo’s hair. He tied a shoelace bow, and Uraraka shook her head pulling it out and showing him a different technique that made the bow come out more professional and even. He copied her to the next of his ability, the bow still lopsided, but less so. 

Asui and Yaoyaorozu stood to go look in the mirror on the side of the room. Shouta handed Uraraka her brushes and tools back so she could put them in her case, nervously glancing over to where the girls were. There was no denying Yaomomo’s hair looked better, but maybe-

“It sucks,” Asui said, Uraraka flying over to cover her mouth and let out a stream of high pitched giggles to hide the words that Shouta had already heard. He let out a frustrated sigh. Not good enough yet. 

“I’m sure it’ll look better on Eri!” Uraraka tried to do some damage control, her hands flying around in front of her in a pseudo Iida style, “She’s littler after all, besides Tsu’s hair is so bushy,” 

Tsu let out an offended ribbit, but the other girls shot her a look and she quieted down.

“Yeah. Eri has fine hair. You should be good,” Asui said, her voice betraying exactly what she thought of the statements she was making. 

Not bad. Not great, but not bad. Shouta thought as he tied off the bow the way Uraraka had shown him. The bow was definitely the best part of it all, but on a whole it was night and day to his earlier attempts. Eri’s hair had lost most of its flyaways, and he hadn’t pulled on her scalp nearly as much this time. When she hopped down off the kitchen chair she was still stretching and wincing, but she seemed excited to go into the bathroom and see. 

He had done exactly the style that Uraraka had shown him, nothing more nothing less. A braid that wrapped around a tiny bun at the top of her head, the bow hiding in the back to cover the end of the braid. It was slightly hanging off of the side of her head instead of right on top the way that the girls had done it, but it was done. He assumed his normal position in the doorway of the bathroom while she observed her reflection.

“How is it?” He barely managed to ask before Eri exploded in a happy stream of words. 

“The bow is so cute! I love the braid, and it feels so soft. I wanna see the back if I can, can you show me?” She rambled, holding her arms out so Shouta could lift her to better see the sides and back of her head. Shouta paused in shock, before rote memory took hold and he picked her up automatically.

It certainly wasn’t the first time he had picked her up, but it was the first time she had asked him to. Normally he only touched her as an absolute necessity, wanting to protect her and give her the space she so sorely deserved. He picked Eri up simply when it was going to be most efficient to get somewhere fast, other than that he let her walk and they took their time. Her asking to be held was something new. 

Still as she settled her weight in his arms and turned to look at the back of her hair in the mirror, Shouta felt that icy part in his heart melt once more because of the little girl. No, not bad, just….new. Her eyes were sparkling with joy instead of tears, and she kept letting out tiny laughs as she preened in the mirror. Definitely an improvement. 

“Wow, you’re definitely looking to improve your skills,” Uraraka said, looking at the picture that her homeroom teacher was showing her. Her expression betrayed the truth of what she thought of his capability of pulling this off, but Shouta was determined to succeed. 

It had been a week since the bun incident, and Eri had asked for one in her hair every other day before school since then. He was happy to oblige for those few moments of joy that it gave her, and he was absurdly proud to say that his buns were less lopsided the more he practiced. Such a small thing shouldn’t inflate his ego so much, but it didn’t feel quite so small when she was eagerly showing off his work to whoever would look at it. 

Of course it couldn’t last. Nothing good ever did. Last night Eri shyly walked over to him and showed him a picture that she had found of another style. He didn’t blame her for it. No, he could never blame her. Shouta blamed himself. Himself and his two foster cats that were sitting on the couch and mocking him as he looked at Eri’s tablet and signed his death certificate by telling her he would try and make it happen. 

So now he was here, sitting in the common room of the dorms once again as Uraraka looked at the picture and developed a plan for it. Unlike before the rest of the girls had ventured down to look, clearly having learned what was going on from Uraraka and the others. Aizawa was a common visitor to the dorms for one reason or another, but this was definitely not an ordinary reason. 

“I’m...not quite sure how they did this,” Uraraka admitted after another minute of staring at the picture, “Let me look up another video,”

“Lemme see!” Hagakure said, plucking the tablet out of Ochako’s hands and looking at it. After a second she gasped and tossed it back onto the couch, “I know exactly what to do! Give me two seconds,” 

Then her clothes floated over to the stairs, disappearing. Jiro shook her head and dropped onto one of the other couches next to Yaoyaorozu who was reading a fantasy novel.

“Why does she even know so much about hair when no one can see hers?” Jiro asked, and Shouta found himself agreeing. Sometimes he was envious of Hagakure’s quirk, for the most ridiculous reason of no longer having to worry about his appearance at all. Not that he normally worried about it, but there were times when he was forced to.

“For your information, Jiro ,” A disembodied voice said in a severe tone, “Just because none of you can see doesn’t mean I should look like a heathen,” 

It seemed Hagakure had returned. Floating in the air was an armful of things that wiggled around on their own. Jiro apologized sheepishly, and Hagakure clapped her hands together, either ignoring the apology or too deep in her thoughts to acknowledge it. 

“I’ll take Tsu and you can use Momo. My best friend loved to do her hair this way in middle school, so I know it like the back of my hand. All the rest of you pay attention too, just in case Aizawa forgets a step or something.” Hagakure said, and with that she threw a pack of pipe cleaners into Shouta’s lap. He picked them up and stared at where he hoped the girl’s head was, holding them aloft. Hagakure sighed and grabbed the pack, opening them and pulling two out, “I know it doesn’t make sense now, but trust me on this,” 

Yaoyaorozu and Asui took their positions on the floor and Hagakure began to instruct Shouta at a rapid pace, pieces of Asui’s hair hovering in the air. Shouta began to copy her movements, well her approximate movements, and soon enough the idea of what they were doing started to make more sense. Hagakure chattered about just about anything as she worked, and the other girls chimed in as well. Shouta was content to stay a silent student in this situation, it was clear they had either forgot he was there or somehow having their homeroom teacher around had become casual. 

They talked about the boys in class, about pros they wanted to be like and why, and even which classes they preferred. It was amusing to hear they all enjoyed Thirteen’s classes but had mixed results on the “interesting” way that Hizashi taught English. I wonder if Eri is gonna start being like this soon, he thought as Yaomomo’s hair slowly took shape. 

She was such a quiet girl, he didn’t expect her to ever become this chatty, but he had no way of knowing what was a result of the traumas she had suffered, and what was just her personality. There was so much he didn’t know about what it took to raise a girl, and just listening to his students it was clear even now he had plenty to learn. 

“I don’t know why she likes this so much,” Shouta admitted after a beat of silence from the girls. Why are you telling them this? He thought incredulously, but now that the words were out they had to be finished. “She’s always so uncomfortable when I’m doing her hair, it can’t be that she enjoys the process.”

“Maybe she just likes spending the time with you,” Ashido said, shrugging her shoulders from where she sat on the floor by Asui, “I used to go to softball practice three times a week even though I hated it just because my dad was the coach. He would spend time in the afternoons playing catch and teaching me better pitching techniques, and it was some of the only time I got just with him,”

But I’m not her dad , sat on the tip of Shouta’s tongue. It was true, he wasn’t her dad, but it didn’t feel right to say. He was her guardian, and maybe that meant that she needed more attention? Eri wasn’t the type of child who would act out to be seen, but he had thought he spent plenty of time with her. Any time that wasn’t dedicated to his students or hero work was spent with Eri helping to reacclimate her to the world around her. 

“She can spend time with me however she wants though, and we spend time together in other ways,” Shouta said instead, and the girls shared secretive looks. Maybe they were trying to decide something, or maybe his wording had been strange. Shouta had no idea.

“What kind of uncomfortable is it?” Hagakure asked finally. 

“What do you mean?”

“Well is she uncomfortable emotionally, or she uncomfortable physically?” His expression must have still been blank, because Jiro kept elaborating, “Like does she seem upset while you’re doing it, or does she just seem in pain,” 

“It’s not pain,” Shouta responded, thinking back to Eri’s movements, “She just always starts wriggling around halfway through, and she stretches a ton when we’re done,” 

The girls shared more looks. Then the interrogation began. 

“How long does taking her hair do?” Too Long. 

“Anywhere from forty five minutes to an hour and a half”

“Where do you do her hair?” Why does that matter?

“The kitchen table?” 

“And what detangler do you use after her baths?” What?

“Detangler? I just let her brush her hair after,” 

Somehow this was the answer, because his students all exclaimed and began to nod their heads. Somehow this was the magical key to explain it all, but Shouta was the only one left in the dark. Luckily Asui took pity on him. 

“Your kitchen chairs probably aren’t super comfortable for her to sit still on for so long, which is probably why she’s squirming around. Eri is probably missing bunches of her hair when she brushes it because she’s so young. You should do it for her. If you don’t she’s going to end up with knots, and brushing those hurts, which is probably what’s hurting her when you do her hair. You have long hair, doesn’t it hurt when you brush through a tangle?” Asui asked, and Shouta nodded. It hurt, but he just beared it for the few seconds it took to get through. When he said as much, the girls sucked in a collective breath. 

“No wonder she gets uncomfortable,” Hagakure said, “Eri probably really likes when you do her hair, but that hurts a lot for a little girl. Try sitting with her on the couch or something, and I’ll give you some detangling spray. You put that in her hair after her bath, and then use a comb carefully on sections till you go through all her hair. Comb, not brush. If you hold it tight at the top like this while you do it then it won’t pull on her and hurt,” 

Hagakure demonstrated on Asui, and then Momo stepped in and showed on her own hair so Shouta could actually see the motion. His head was swimming with the new information. He had thought he knew how to take care of a child, but there were layers and layers of things he couldn’t have even thought about. Hagakure left an dinstructed Uraraka to finish Asui’s hair while she went to look for the detangler. By the time she came back holding a small spray bottle, it was all done.

“Here you go! Momo’s hair looks good, I’m sure Eri’s will too,” 

Shouta and Eri had settled quickly into a night routine that worked well for both of them. He usually didn’t get back from UA until four or five o'clock at night, and when he did Mirio would head back to the dorms. Shouta would make dinner for the two of them and they would put the evening news on in the background while they ate. Eri would tell him what she and Mirio did that day, or she would ask how Deku and the others were doing in their training, but on the whole their conversations were minimal and small. 

After dinner Eri would go to take a bath and get ready for bedtime. Somewhere around a half hour before bed she would come back into the living room in pajamas and draw or read for a while. Sometimes if she was in a particularly exuberant mood, she would ask Shouta to read to her, and he would until she fell asleep. 

Most nights she went to bed herself, and he simply checked on her about an hour later to ensure she was asleep with no issues. He usually went to work the night shift for a few hours, and Hizashi would come over to doze on the couch and mind after her. Eri often woke up with nightmares, but they were quickly soothed with some gentle words and reminders of where she really was. She preferred when Shouta was the one who was there, but Hizashi would do in a pinch. He usually brought her back to the living room to watch movies until Shouta returned if she woke up afraid.  

It worked for them. It was quiet and some might find it boring, but it was peaceful enough that it kept Eri’s anxieties down, and didn’t much change Shouta’s schedule. He didn’t want to do anything that might disrupt that peace, but he also didn’t want to keep hurting her whenever she asked him to do her hair. So that night when Eri went to go take her bath he told her to put her pajamas on when she was done and come into the living room after. Eri didn’t ask any questions, it was rare that she ever did, but he could tell the instructions perplexed the little girl. 

While she was in the tub he set things up. He moved the low living room table to the side and grabbed two comfortable pillows from the closet. Mint and Mango, the two cats he was currently fostering, jumped onto the cushions and Shouta shooed them away. They hopped up onto the bookshelves and eyed him angrily, tails lashing to and fro. On a whim Shouta also set the kettle to boil, pulling out two mugs and putting a chamomile tea bag in each. Tea is good, right?

As the kettle began to whistle, Shouta heard Eri’s bedroom door open, and the sound of her footsteps in the hallway. He grabbed his supplies and the two mugs and put them all on the table next to the couch, taking a seat and waiting. 

Eri appeared a second later, barefoot and in a purple nightie that Nemuri had purchased for her. It went down to her toes and had a pretty picture of a unicorn on the front, it was one of Eri’s favorite things to wear. Here goes nothing. Shouta beckoned her over and he gently picked the girl up, setting her so her back was to him. Her hair was toweled dry but still damp. 

“I’m gonna comb your hair out so we don’t have any tangles to deal with tomorrow. That way things will go a lot faster. Is that okay?” Eri looked at him while he spoke, and she nodded, turning her back to him and pulling her hair so it was all behind her shoulders. Shouta leaned over to put one of the mugs closer to her. As he picked up his comb and the bottle Hagakure had given him, Eri picked up the mug, holding it in both of her hands and taking a tiny cautious sip. 

“Careful it’s hot,” Shouta said a second too late, and Eri recoiled at the heat of the water. Good one Shouta. If it had been any other little girl she might have whined about burning her lip, but Eri was Eri. She just blew on it, and then took another tiny sip, humming at the mellow taste. Then Shouta set to work, spraying her hair and sectioning it off, taking each clump and carefully combing through it. There were, in fact, a lot of tangles in Eri’s hair, but unlike before she seemed completely content to let him do as he pleased. She drank her tea and the tension slowly faded from her shoulders, something about the careful attention making her feel calm and safe. 

“Did you have a good day today?” Shouta asked, wanting to fill the empty space. Eri nodded and launched into a story about the swing set that Mirio had brought her to. Apparently it had a swing that had two seats, and Mirio sat on one half and she sat on the other. They had gone back and forth just from Mirio’s feet pressing on the bottom of the swing, and it had been a lot of fun. After that they went to a Takoyaki stall and got lunch to bring to Tamaki-senpai and Fatgum. Then they spent time at the agency and talked to interns and on and on. Eri had never been much of a talker, but now she was rambling with ferocity. 

Normally Shouta wasn’t very interested in hearing children’s stories, too many umms and run on sentences, but he was entranced by Eri’s tale. He hummed and asked follow up questions to keep her talking as he finished up her hair. Soon the comb ran through easily at any section of her hair, and it had gone from damp to dry. He patted her shoulder once and stood up, collecting the cups and walking over to the kitchen to place them in the sink. Shouta heard Eri’s feet following him, and he saw her standing in the kitchen, waiting expectantly. 

What on Earth is she waiting for? Should Shouta tell her it was time to go to bed? She had to know that, it was a little later than she normally would go to bed anyway. He looked at her, and she looked at him, her courage clearly failing her with every moment. Whatever she was going to ask him for, she wouldn’t be asking him tonight. Shouta opened his mouth, and Eri cut in before he could say a word

“Good night!” She squeaked, fleeing away from the kitchen. He heard her door shut just a second later, and then the apartment was quiet. Shouta walked at a much slower pace down the hallway, halting in front of her shut door. He wouldn’t go in, she wasn’t ready to talk about whatever she was wanting, but when she was ready, he would be here. He went back into the living room and began to put it back to normal. 

Regardless, I think adding this to our nightly routine isn’t a bad idea Shouta decided as he folded up the blankets. 

“Oh my god. Are you serious, Aizawa?!” Midnight groaned, slamming a palm into her forehead. The rest of the teachers who were in the lounge were watching in varied stages of bemusement, and Hizashi was chuckling at his desk, his eyes going in between his two friends. I hope Eri doesn’t think he’s laughing at her Shouta thought, but one glance at the little girl showed she was too busy showing off what Shouta had done for her that morning to Thirteen and Hound Dog. 

The pipe cleaner trick had worked like a charm, and having her hair free of tangles already made the process go much faster. Shouta was quickly able to maneuver Eri’s hair into two braids around the white pipe cleaners and then bend them into the cat shapes she had requested. He put the rest of her hair into a haphazard bun in the back and then accented the whole thing with tiny bows where he deemed appropriate. 

Eri had loved it so much she had declared she needed to change into something better, and she had traded her simple skirt and t-shirt for a pretty red dress with white lace collar.  Normally he brought her straight to class 3-B’s homeroom for Mirio to pick her up and take her wherever they decided to go, but Eri had asked to stop by the teacher’s lounge first to show the rest of the staff. Since they had gotten to school with time to spare, there was no reason to deny her request, but now Shouta was wishing that he had.

“It was Eri’s idea,” Shouta grumbled, annoyed that Nemuri would think he would randomly decide he needed to do such a complicated thing for no reason. Yes he had dressed her in the ‘eye sore cat outfit’ when she first got out of the hospital, but he just assumed that was what little girls liked to dress in. She wore it, didn't she? “She likes cats too,”

“Of course she does, she’s yours,” Midnight replied, seemingly glossing over the enormity of stating Eri was his , “But that doesn’t mean that you have to make her into a cat creature every day, Eraser!” 

Shouta was too busy trying to deal with the she’s yours comment to even begin to argue back with Nemuri. Shouta was taking care of her, but he had never assumed that made Eri his per say. He had been sure it was a temporary arrangement, just something to get her settled into controlling her quirk. Then she would have to go to people who would know how to take care of her, real parents who could give her a real family. 

He tried to ignore the mountain of feelings that landed on him when he thought of Eri going to live with someone else. Of not getting to see her face beaming up at him ever again. 

“Well, let’s love cats then!” Hizashi slid himself smoothly into the conversation, either noticing Aizawa’s strange shut down, or not wanting to hear Midnight lecture about fashion for the rest of the time that they had before homeroom. He walked past them and picked Eri up, setting her on his hip, “How about it kitten, you want some milk and a ball of yarn?”

Eri giggled and shook her head, and she and Hizashi launched into a teasing discussion about what she was going to do that day (“Will you be climbing into boxes and hiding?” “No!” “What about ripping up some curtains? Sushi loved to do that when he was little,” “No that’s bad!”) Shouta forced himself to take a deep breath, sitting at his desk away from the group of people congregating around his...around Eri. 

It does no good to think of her as yours. You know that. This is temporary, just what’s best for her right now. Staying with you isn’t good in the long term, you can’t give her what she needs. You’re too rough, too busy. She needs a family, other kids to play with and parents that can give her whatever she wants. Smother her in love and affection and show her how much they love her. She isn’t a stray cat or a lost puppy, she’s a living breathing human being, and she deserves better than you could ever provide. 

“Shouta?” Nemuri was sitting on his desk staring at him. He hated when she did that, it felt like she was looking past all of the walls he so carefully built and seeing right into his heart, “I was just joking around, I didn’t mean to-”

“Don’t call her mine,” He interrupted, taking another less steady breath. Midnight went to spea again, but Shouta stood, walking away from her and over to the group of teachers. Eri saw him approaching and wriggled out of Hizashi’s grasp, skipping over to him. He held out his hand, and she took it, “We’re gonna be late if I don’t drop her off soon,” 

The rest of the group said their goodbyes and began to break away to go to their own work. He ignored Nemuri and Hizashi’s eyes on him as he passed them to walk out the door. Shouta focused only on the feeling of Eri’s hand in his own, and he couldn’t stop himself from wondering how many more times he would get to hold her hand. 

Shouta was almost asleep when a small scream dragged him out of his peace. All of his muscles tensed and his hand flew up to his bare neck. Where’s my capture weapon? He thought blearily, throwing himself into a standing position and banging his shin against the wood table in his living room. The pain brought tears instantly to his eyes, but it also helped to clear his head. He was home, not on the battlefield. The screaming wasn’t a citizen falling to their doom, just Eri having another nightmare. He rubbed at his leg and walked around the couch and towards the hallway. His shin sang in pain, nerves going haywire to let him know he would probably have a bruise in the morning. 

Why is it always the small injuries that hurt the worst? He thought as he softly knocked on her door before entering, Paper cuts and hangnails make us cry, but fall down a flight of stairs or get slashed by a knife and it stops after a few seconds. It’s bullshit. 

Eri was sitting up in bed, her hands clutching her blankets in a death grip. Her tiny chest heaved in gasps of air, and she was looking around but not seeing in her fight. She gave another shriek when the door opened, but when she saw who was standing in the doorway she relaxed ever so slightly. Shouta turned the knob on the lights, turning on the lights ever so slightly so the room was illuminated, but not bright enough to fully wake Eri. With any luck he could get her back to sleep with a little soothing. 

“Just a dream,” He whispered, and she nodded, still breathing too fast. Shouta walked slowly in, taking his time so she could see every movement he made. He sat on the edge of her bed and took a long deep breath, catching the young girl’s eyes and repeating the motion. She copied him to the best of her ability, sobs catching on her inhale. She wasn’t crying yet, but Shouta had no doubt tears would be an inevitability tonight. Whatever had happened in her dream, it was worse than the normal. No point in trying to keep her in bed then, “Do you want to go in the living room?” 

Eri nodded and crawled out of bed, standing and waiting for him to walk out first. When she had dreams like this, she didn’t like to be touched at all, and she never wanted anyone behind her. Shouta had learned all of this quickly, and he did his best to accommodate her to keep her calm. He walked into the living room and grabbed the remote, turning the TV from the crime show he had been watching and onto a nature documentary. Eri liked those a lot, she enjoyed watching the animals living without anyone bothering them. She crept onto the sofa and sat in a corner, grabbing one of the pillows and putting it in her lap to curl up with. 

“Do you want a cup of tea?” Another nod. Nonverbal then, Shouta noted, padding into the kitchen and grabbing the chamomile. He had made her a similar cup only a few hours ago when he had combed out her hair, but it couldn’t hurt to have some more now. Maybe the smell and the taste would remind her she was in a safe place, sometimes that helped Shouta when he woke up with his own terrors. Besides, giving Eri a little space to get herself together had worked well in the past. 

Shouta returned with her tea to find Eri in a calmer state. She was glued to whatever was on the TV, a cursory glance showed him a pack of lions on the savannah, and she accepted the cup that he offered. He sat on the other side of the couch and watched for a second with her. I really hope none of these lion cubs get eaten. Normally I vet these things before I show them to her. With my luck this is probably ‘Babies get Eaten 2: Scar Your Kids’ 

Once five minutes had passed and no cubs had met a grisly fate, Shouta allowed himself to relax a bit and turn his attention back to Eri. She was clearly still upset, but no longer frightened. Now she seemed contemplative, the same look she had given him a few weeks ago that first night he had combed her hair out. It was maddening, she clearly needed something from him, but he wasn’t a mind reader. He was barely good at seeing to her spoken needs, how was he supposed to magically guess what she wouldn’t tell him?

“Did you want to talk about it?” He ventured, half hoping the answer was no. He wanted her to feel safe enough to confront her inner demons, but Shouta also knew he was crap at helping with these kinds of things. Hizashi had laughed at him a number of times for his piss poor attempts at comforting students, and this was on a whole nother level. Luckily she was shaking her head no before he even finished the sentence. Okay so not that, but what could it be?  

“More tea?” Another shake. “Something different on the TV?” Yet another shake, this time combined with Eri’s eyes filling up with tears. Great job Eraserhead, you made her cry and you still don’t know what she needs. Shouta ignored the derisive tone of his inner thoughts and focused back in on Eri. He could deal with his own inadequacies later, for now she needed him. He sighed and tried a different tactic, keeping his voice low and as gentle as he could. 

“Whatever it is, it’s okay to ask for it. The worst that happens is I can’t do it right now, right? I promise I’m not going to get upset,” 

The young girl looked up at him with big eyes, searching his face for any signs of a lie. Shouta didn’t change his expression at all, didn’t try to shift to look more trustworthy or put her at ease. Eri had spent most of her life being lied to, he wouldn’t lie to her to try and make her feel more like talking to him. If she didn’t want to, then she shouldn’t have to. 

Eri stopped and started a few times, but it seemed like her voice was still lost. Shouta tapped into all of his skills as a pro to keep patient and not interrupt her inner monologue to guess again at what she was looking for. Patience was the key with Eri, she needed someone who wasn’t going to push her past how far she could be pushed. Finally Eri slid off the couch and pattered down the hallway, probably going to hide in her room again.

This is why she needs real parents, Shouta reminded himself, scrubbing a hand across his face and squeezing his eyes shut against the exhaustion pressing behind them. They wouldn’t make her tell them what she needs, they’d just know. 

But then there were footsteps in the hallway again, and a tiny head poked around the corner. Shouta stayed still as Eri climbed back onto the couch, holding out the items that she had gone to fetch. 

A hairbrush and comb, the ones he used for her. Shouta took them and gave the girl a confused glance. He had already done this for her tonight, the same as always. Yet now she was turning her back to him, pulling her hair to sit behind her shoulders and waiting. Shouta slid closer to her and put the comb down, taking the brush and running it through her hair. At first a shiver ran up her spine, and he pulled back, but then Eri scooted closer to him and continued to wait until he did it again. 

Over and over he repeated the simple motion, brushing through her hair with slow delicate movements. He wasn’t sure why this was comforting to her, but if this was what would make Eri feel better, then Shouta didn’t mind it. Then he heard it. A quiet sniffle, and then another, and he saw her hand creep up to brush at her cheeks that were no doubt damp with tears. He didn’t know how he had gotten brushing her hair wrong enough to make her break down, but the sudden shift in emotion was jarring.

“Eri?” It seemed that the unspoken question was enough to break through her silence, and Eri’s hushed cries turned into heartbreaking weeping. She buried her face in her hands and kept her back to Shouta, shoulders shaking. He put the brush down and stared at the child in front of him, wracking his mind for what he could do to help. Finally Shouta gathered his courage and threw caution to the wind, leaning over and pulling Eri into his arms. 

He expected her to pull away from him, and if she had he would have let her, but that wasn’t what happened. Eri pushed closer to him and clung to his middle, burying her face into his chest. Her tears quickly soaked through his shirt and he could feel her whole body shaking. Shouta put his arms around her, settling one hand on the top of her head and taking a deep breath hoping she might replicate it.

“You’re alright now,” He reminded her, keeping to the same tone as before, “It was just a dream. You’re safe. Nothing bad is going to happen,”

Eri mumbled something, and Shouta leaned down closer to catch her words. In between hitching sobs he finally managed to hear what she said. 

“You got hurt.”

“In your dream?” A nod from the little girl clarified and Shouta nodded himself. He knew that she had bad dreams before about Deku being hurt, or of the moment where Mirio had lost his quirk, but this was the first time her imagination had conjured up this particular nightmare, “That didn’t happen though,” 

“You got hurt,” She repeated with a whimper, “Then he fixed you, and you left me with him.” 

There was no need to guess who the ‘him’ Eri was talking about was. Once more Shouta considered going to Tartarus to finish the job that had been started when they arrested Overhaul, if only to give his girl some peace of mind that the monster could never do anything to ever hurt her again. Yes the league had taken his arms in some strange sick retribution, but it wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough when Shouta was the one who had to wipe away her tears and listen to her agonizing fears. The nature of the dream was unsettling though, and Shouta knew he had to refute it as quickly as he could before the thought could take root. 

“Eri listen to me,” He pulled her away from him so he could look her in the eye, even though everything in him wanted to hold her and not let go for a long long time. Eri peered up with teary eyes, and Shouta allowed himself the one weakness of brushing one of her cheeks dry as he spoke, “I would never do that. I’m not letting him anywhere near you ever again, and if he tries I’ll be the one to stop him. Do you understand?” 

Eri nodded and went back to her position curled up against him. Shouta let her, running a hand down her back and hoping that was enough to assuage whatever was going on in her mind. 

“I just don’t want you to leave,” Eri had barely whispered it, but Shouta’s ears caught it anyway. 

They were just seven little words. Seven insignifiant words that formed a sentence that she probably hadn’t even meant for him to hear. Why were they causing such a wave of pain in him? Why was he letting seven words splinter his composure so badly? 

He wanted to take this burden off of her shoulders too, but he had also promised not to lie to Eri if he could help it. It would be a lie to say he would never leave her. It would be a lie to say he would always be there. Sooner rather than later, she would be gone, and Shouta wouldn't be the one she ran to when she needed comfort from a nightmare. 

Shouta put his cheek on top of her head and pulled Eri impossibly closer, shutting his eyes against the unexpected burning starting, and feeling his throat close as well. He felt Eri slowly start to relax as she cried herself to sleep in his arms, but Shouta didn’t move. He stayed there for hours, watching the sun rise and dealing with the never ending pool of self loathing he had for putting himself in the position of having his heart broken once more. 

“Your hair is getting messier somehow,”

And you’re being more of an ass than normal Vlad but you don’t hear me telling you Shouta thought viciously. It was hard enough to even be in school today, but having Vlad King giving him a judgemental look and a casual insult felt like the one thing that would push Shouta over the edge into absolute fury. He knew Nezu would probably fire him if he ended up in a fist fight in the middle of the hallway, but maybe it would be worth it. 

Instead of saying what he felt or simply just punching the man, Eraserhead just leveled a level three glare at his colleague and continued down the hallway without responding. Eri, who was in his arms, gave him a questioning look but opted not to say anything. She just rested her head on his shoulder and shut her red eyes. 

Both of them were still exhausted from last night and the evidence showed from their matching eyebags. The morning had been hurried and rushed, no time for anything other than what was most essential. He had thrown Eri’s hair into a messy bun and then done the same for himself, unable and unwilling to try and get his fingers to move in the proper ways to do anything more elaborate. 

His glare must have stayed, because students parted like the sea around him letting him pass to make his way to 3-B’s classroom. Maybe it was just the shock of seeing The Eraserhead carrying a small child on his hip. Normally he dropped Eri off fairly early before most of the students arrived, so the majority of the school had no idea she even existed. 

Then again, normally he didn’t carry her either, but today it had been a necessity. Eri was still clingy after her nightmare last night, and Shouta wasn’t strong enough to try and stop her from latching onto him. It would be better to stop this now, better to not let either of you sink this deep into it. But one puppy eyed look and here he was. 

He was whipped. Whipped by a six year old. It was exceptionally pathetic. 

Mirio was waiting outside of the room, chatting with Amajiki and Hado who were listening to him go off about something that Shouta couldn’t hear. Whatever it was, it didn’t really matter. All that mattered was getting Eri settled and away from him long enough for Shouta to get his erratic feelings back in order. More time apart was a good thing, it would make the transition easier for her. 

Rather than continue to debate himself, Shouta leaned over to deposit Eri on the floor, trying and failing to school his gaze into more of a neutral position. Based on how Amajiki took two steps back as they approached, he hadn’t done a very good job.

“Hello Aizawa! Hi there Eri!” Mirio greeted them cheerfully, a wide smile on his face, “I thought I would take Eri to the library on campus for the morning. We can do some reading and quiet stuff, and then if she’s feeling up to it a walk around to the dorms in the afternoon. We can even stop and see Deku if he’s not at an internship,” 

Shouta nodded along as the teen spoke, happy with his choices for the day’s activities. He had sent Mirio a message earlier in the morning explaining that Eri had a long night. There was no need to go into details. If she wanted to tell him she would, and Mirio had shared with Shouta that she had confided in him on a number of occasions. It was better to let her reach out, make her own decisions on what she was comfortable with others knowing. 

“I’ll see you both at four,” Shouta said in lieu of making more conversation with his old students, “Bring her to the teacher’s lounge not home, there’s some paperwork I need to finish up,” 

Mirio gave a short salute, and Hado threw herself into one of her usual rambles. They began to walk away, and Shouta let his guard ever so slightly down. He had time now to process this all and come up with the most logical plan to make sure that Eri received enough social affection to stay happy, while also keeping a healthy distance between him and her for when the time came that she would be taken from him. 

Not ‘Taken.’ She’s not yours. He reminded himself firmly. He turned his back to the group and walked the other way towards his homeroom. 

“Wait!” Eri called from behind him, pulling away from Mirio and stumbling over to where Shouta had turned around at her cry. She halted in front of him and knotted her fingers together, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet. Shouta squatted low so he was the same height as the girl and raised his eyebrows in silent question. He couldn’t imagine what she could possibly want from him in this moment. 

Then Eri threw her arms around him. 

It was over in less than half a second. One beat, they were staring at each other. The next beat she was in his arms again, solid warm weight crashing into his chest and tight arms squeezing his neck. Another beat, and she was gone, scurrying back to Mirio’s side and taking his hand in her own, leaving Shouta on the ground in a daze. 

Damn her for making this harder than it has to be Shouta internally raged, tamping down the tiny part of him that felt elated at her progress. He stood up straight and his spine gave a series of loud cracks in protest. The teacher groaned and began the trek once more to his own classroom. He was sure that the class wouldn’t mind another self study session, and his yellow sleeping bag was calling his name. 

She’s back to squirming Shouta observed as he picked up the maroon ribbon and wrapped it around Eri’s hair. They were sitting on the sofa and there hadn’t been any pulling with the brush this morning, so there was no reason for Eri’s discomfort. That meant that it wasn’t something physical that was bothering her, but something mental. 

She hadn’t woken him with any more nightmares since that night, but there was no way for Shouta to know if she hadn’t continued to get them and just not told him. The little girl wasn’t a fantastic liar, and her behavior as of late hadn’t given him any inclinations that her sleep wasn’t good, but maybe he missed it. 

It might not be nightmares though Shouta thought, letting his mind wander with the possibilities, She could have seen something, or someone might have said something to her that was upsetting. Maybe she had a flashback, or she just could be having a bad day. There’s so many things that could be wrong with a child. 

“Ow!” Eri yelped, reflexively getting away from him and leaning far back against the other side of the couch. Shouta had been so deep in his thoughts that he hadn’t been paying attention to what he was doing, and in the process he had tied the ribbon in Eri’s hair around his own fingers. When he went to move away, he had taken her hair with him, resulting in what had to be a fairly painful yank on her head. 

Eri was rubbing the spot and her lip quivered, making his confusion even worse. Having her hair pulled wasn’t pleasant, but Eri had never cried before at something like this. Clearly something else was at play. 

“I’m sorry that I hurt you,” Shouta apologized, wracking his brains for the best way to approach this. The books he had read about dealing with children who had experienced traumatic events told him that displaying his own emotions was good as it allowed the child to see that feeling the emotions that they had was a good thing. Shouta had no intentions of becoming an overly emotional wreck, but maybe sharing how he felt in this moment would help Eri to open up herself. 

“I was distracted and I wasn’t paying attention, but I had no intentions to cause you any pain. I was...concerned, because you don’t seem to be acting like yourself this morning.” Eri lowered her hands into her lap and fidgeted her fingers, lacing them together and apart and together again. There it was, her sign that she was holding onto something. Shouta continued his probing, making sure to keep Eri’s attention on him and not on whatever was happening in her mind, “Is there something wrong?” 

Eri shook her head automatically at his question, but Shouta waited. Eri’s panic response would always be to insist she was fine. Her past had taught her that having any attention on her would result in pain and fear. It was important that she grow out of these habits, and start to trust that having someone’s concern wasn’t a negative thing. Soon enough he was rewarded with a small nod from the girl. 

“Was it another nightmare?” Eri confirmed what he already knew by shaking her head, “Alright, can you tell me what’s upsetting you then?” 

Eri dropped her eyes to her fingers and took a few deep breaths the way he had taught her. Shotua was happy to see she was starting to use the relaxation exercises he had given her, but her need to use them in this situation was disappointing. He had been certain she was making progress, but even now she was still afraid to tell him when she was hurt. It’s a trauma response, and there’s no timeline for trauma responses, He reminded himself. She’s so used to people taking things out on her, and it’s natural for her to think you would do the same. You just have to show her that you won’t.

“I think I made you angry,” Eri whispered, and Shouta stopped his grandiose train of thought short. Once the first words were out the rest were flooding the room as Eri rambled out her anxieties, “You don’t wanna read together, and Mirio always brings me straight home instead of going to your office, and Hizashi is here so much now instead of just us, and I don’t know what I did wrong, but I’m really really sorry.” 

When the wave of words was over Eri went quiet as a church mouse, her nails beginning to dig into her palms. The autopilot in his brain immediately engaged to tell him that she was engaging in a manner of self harm and that he should step in. The rest of his mind was too busy hating him. 

So not a trauma response. No this is just you fucking up. Good going.

All of that was true. Not only was all of that true, but there was more that she couldn’t have verbalized, but that he knew to be true. He no longer spoke to her as he brushed her hair at night, he didn’t come to check on her at night while she slept. Even his morning drop offs had become perfunctory at best. He did exactly what he had to do to fulfill her basic needs- nothing more, nothing less. Shouta had started to put up more walls around the girl, but it was for a good reason. 

It was for her. The day after her last nightmare, Shouta had heard through the gossips in the lounge that Nezu was starting to look into permanent placements for Eri. She wasn’t going to be with him for much longer, and it was better that she started to get used to being around people who weren’t him. It was in her best interests. Even in his own head the justifications now sounded weak. 

He had been putting up walls between them for himself and himself only. He had been trying to guard his own feelings, and in the process sacrificed hers. At six years old Eri simply couldn't see anything but the obvious- that her guardian didn’t want to be near her anymore. With her past? It’s no wonder she blamed herself instead of the real culprit. Shouta couldn’t say any of this to her, there was no way to explain thirty years of his own trauma, and there was no reason to add any more weight to the child’s shoulders. Still, lying to her wasn’t the answer either. He decided to go for a half truth instead.

“I have been...more distant lately,” Shouta admitted, moving closer and taking Eri’s hands in his own so she would stop scratching her nails against her own skin. Eri’s eyes glanced up at him in fear, and Shouta did his best to not seem like the cold brusque man he had been for the last week, “But that was not your fault. You did nothing to deserve how I’ve been acting, and I apologize.” 

Eri let her gaze fall back in her lap, clearly unable to accept what he was saying. To her, grown ups always had to be right, especially Shouta. He raised a hand and lifted her chin up so she would look at him again.

“I apologize,” He repeated, his voice softer this time, “You didn’t do anything wrong, I promise,” 

It was true, she hadn’t done anything wrong. It was Shouta’s fault for getting so attached, but there was nothing to do about it now. What was done was done, and the only thing left to do was wait for the inevitable. Eri would leave him eventually, but there was no point in breaking her heart before she did. The best thing Shouta could do now was give her the love that he so fiercely was trying to hold back, and, once she was gone, he could tend to his wounds. 

With that in mind Shouta stood from the couch and held out a hand for Eri to take. Once she did he led them into the bathroom and sat her on the counter, walking out and into her bedroom. It only took him a few seconds to find the item he was looking for, and he walked back in, placing it on the counter. Eri jumped down and stood on her stool, once again their reflections watched him. 

“Let’s fix this,” Shouta murmured, picking the ruined bow out of Eri’s hair. He expertly wrapped the ribbon around the bun once more, this time pulling the strands into a perfect shape. Shouta leaned around the little girl and picked up the tiara that he had taken from her room. 

“Is it better like this?” He asked, holding it up so she could see what it might look like in her hair. 

“Yes!” Eri crowed, her hands coming up to make excited fists by her heart as he fixed the crown into place. The little girl gave him a bubbly grin, and Shouta gave her one of his own rare smiles back. She was so entranced by the sparkling addition that she didn’t see that Shouta’s smile back at her wasn’t quite reaching his eyes. 

Shouta thought he had been doing a good job of preparing for this moment, but the second that Hizashi had told him Nezu wanted to talk to him at the end of the day about Eri, all of that preparation flew out the window. He had taught that day in a daze, not even sure what he was saying to his students the whole time. It went too fast and too slow at the same time, lagging and racing until he was sitting in his boss’s office staring at him from the other side of the desk.

“I found a couple of families that I think would suit Eri and her particular needs,” Nezu said, as if he was talking about something trivial, and not something that would cause immense pain to the man in front of him. He doesn’t know that this would hurt you, Shouta reasoned out, Besides it shouldn’t hurt, you should be happy about that. Nezu passed over three manilla folders and continued, “They’re all fairly close to UA should an emergency happen where we need to intervene, all of the parents have been thoroughly vetted by the system along with our own measures, and each of them have been given a short brief on Eri’s history. They feel confident that they can provide a good home for her.” 

Shouta opened the first folder, flicking idly by a picture of a perfectly generic couple. The woman was a school psychologist, her quirk a minor emotional shifter that she had a license to use to calm the children under her care. Her wife was quirkless, but she was a lawyer at a nonprofit that fought against quirkless discrimination. The other two couples were similarly well suited- social workers, teachers, even one of the police officers who had been at the raid assisting the heroes. They were all good choices, all ready to take on the challenge of raising her. 

Except…

Is it really right to place her with a woman who can change how she feels? So not them. And from personal experience of being a teacher, sometimes the last thing I want to do is go home and deal with another child, so that couple has to be out. Besides, a police officer? What if she brings home her work? Shouta continued to flip through their applications, reading the letters of recommendation. His mind swirled with more and more excuses on why each of them wasn’t good enough. 

“That is, if you think that she is ready to be relocated?” Apparently he had been silent long enough that Nezu had gotten to drawing conclusions about why Shouta wasn’t speaking. He could lie and say she wasn’t ready, that she needed more time to adjust. Nezu would easily believe it, and that would buy at least another month. 

“No, Eri is more than ready to start integrating back into the world,” Shouta responded, placing the folders on the desk and leaning forward. He wouldn’t hinder her growth because of his own issues, “She’s spending plenty of time in public with Mirio with no issues, and she’s making good progress with me and Hound Dog on managing her responses to triggers. I’m just not so sure about these families,” 

“Hmm,” Nezu steepled his fingers together and put his chin on top, “Do tell why they might not be the right fit?” 

Shouta opened the first folder and methodically went through, outlining the potential pitfalls and the missteps that could be taken by each of the couples. While he spoke, Nezu continued to listen, his smile staying the entire time. It was one of the things that Shouta disliked most about his boss, despite all of his experience, the pro could never get a read on him. Shouta supposed this is what he must be like to most people, so it was karma to finally find someone who he couldn’t see through, but it was still annoying. 

“I agree that these are all possible issues, but do you think that these possibilities are cause to take any of them out of the running?” 

“I couldn’t say,” Shouta said automatically, biting his tongue so he wouldn’t answer Yes. None of them should get her, “They should at least meet her before we choose any one of them to raise her,” 

“Of course,” Nezu agreed, reaching down and pulling out another folder, “However, there is a second option that would bypass the whole process. I think he’s the perfect fit actually,” 

Shouta quirked a brow upward and took the folder. He didn’t know who could possibly be good enough to not merit at least an interview, but he was sure he wouldn’t like whoever it was. Nezu might trust that person whoever they were, but Shouta was the one in charge of Eri, and he wasn’t giving her to anyone without making sure they would treat her well. 

He opened the folder. It wasn’t an application, there was no picture. It was a thick stack of papers laden with legal jargon, and as he scanned it Shouta’s stomach dropped out. 

They were papers to change his status as Eri’s emergency guardian from emergency to permanent. All of the information was already filled in, and he was pre-approved by the social worker who had been overseeing Eri’s case. All he had to do was sign at the bottom, and she would be in his sole custody. 

“This isn’t funny,” Shouta finally managed, his voice coming out in a funny strangled sound. His heart was beating erratically, and there was the slightest tinge of a ringing in his ears. 

“It’s not a joke,” Nezu shot back, that damned smile widening. 

“I’m serious,” He spat, slapping the folder down on top of the rest of them, “We both know that is a terrible idea. This is a temporary situation while we look for an actual answer to the problem,” 

“Hm. Well from what you and Hound Dog have told me, Eri is in need of a few central things from her guardian,” Nezu began, holding up a paw and putting down one finger as he counted off. 

“One. She needs someone who understands her situation. You not only have all of the background knowledge, you also have a wealth of understanding on how she’s progressed since then. You are the only person who knows everything apart from Eri herself. Besides that, you have your own struggles that you lived through, along with all of the experience from helping to form your students into model heroes”

“Yes but-”

“Two. Eri needs a guardian who will focus solely on her and her needs. These couples are all lovely people who would do well by any child in their care, but there’s no telling if another child will end up with them. Someone who will also need to pull focus and attention, which could be to the detriment of Eri. You as far as I know have no romantic intentions, and I don’t believe that you are looking to adopt any other children.”

“I don’t, but-”

“Three. Eri needs someone who isn’t afraid to push her out of her comfort zone. It does no good to coddle the girl and to keep her protected from any and all injury. She needs to learn that if she tries to fly and fall, someone will be there to pick her up and help her to try again. You have done your best to bring her out of her shell, and the results have shown her to be an inquisitive deeply empathetic young person who is comfortable letting her guard down and showing you her pain.”

“Would you stop-”

“Four. Eri needs someone who already loves her for who she is-” 

“I can’t, okay?! It’s a terrible idea! I can barely keep my class alive, let alone a little girl with more trauma than an entire army. It doesn’t matter that she latched onto me, I’m just the first adult who treated her with any human decency,” Shouta finally broke in, raising his voice for the first time since he entered the office. Some distant part of him was horrified that he was yelling at his boss, but the rest was too focused on the overwhelming panic that was trampling down on his chest, “I just...can’t,” 

Nezu put his paw down on the desk, his bemused grin finally slipping away. He didn’t seem angry at the fact that one of his subordinates had decided that the best way to be heard was by shouting. Nezu was watching him with one of those looks that Shouta detested the most, the looks he had gotten right after he had lost Oboro. The pitying looks, the ones that reminded him that the rest of the world in fact did know how beyond broken he was. 

“There’s nothing wrong with wanting to raise her, Aizawa,” Nezu said, clearly picking his words with care, “If I did not think you were the best for the job, I would not have even suggested it. Whatever reservations you might have, your love for her is unmistakable. In the end that’s all children really want anyway,” 

But that’s not everything they need, Shouta protested silently, Love isn’t enough. She needs so much more, and I don’t think I’m enough for that.  

He hadn’t said any of that aloud, but Nezu always had a way of seeing through his masks. The strange creature gave a short sigh and grabbed the folders, organizing them and handing them back to Shouta. 

“Talk to her, Eraser. I have a feeling her answer will make it all clear,” 

Exhaustion sat heavy in Shouta’s eyes. Ever since his fight with Shigaraki in the USJ, his eyes were drier than ever. He had been overusing his quirk for years now, but usually they sprung back to their normal wear and tear a few days after a big fight. This time though, the pain had lingered. It started in his eyes and spread to the rest of his head. Migraines were a constant companion, and with them came an unceasing fatigue.

Getting too old for all of this. His friends told him that it was time to pull back, time to stop burning the candle at both ends, and Shouta hated to admit it, but they had some serious points now. Of course, now he wasn’t just weary from overworking himself, he also wasn’t sleeping. 

It had been just a few days since his blowup in Nezu’s office, and there was no chance of Shouta getting any rest after that. Instead he had sat up at the kitchen table until the wee hours of each night, pouring over the four manilla folders and trying to find the best way to approach Eri with it all. 

“Are you okay?” A tiny voice asked, and Shouta blinked dry eyes to reset his vision. Eri was watching him in the bathroom mirror, her distress plain on her features. Shouta took a steadying breath and went back to the task at hand, putting the brush down and pulling her hair up into a ponytail. 

“I’m fine,” 

Normally at this time she was just finishing up getting ready for bed, but tonight was a special occasion. Class 1-A had decided to throw a small party for her birthday, nothing outlandish, just a cake and some presents from the students. It would be in their common room, and a number of the teachers would also be in attendance. Eri hadn’t wanted anything elaborate for her hair, she had just wanted to “look like Momo-nee”. 

I’m not too sure when Yaoyaorozu became Momo-nee, but at least it isn’t hard to replicate her look. A golden scrunchie in her hair to match the yellow jumper she had on, a few strands left hanging out, and it was done. Shouta looked at his own haggard appearance and pulled out another hair tie. 

“Before we go,” Shouta said, surprising even himself with his sudden choice to speak with her, “We have to discuss something important.” 

Eri seemed apprehensive, but she went with him into the kitchen anyway. He pulled out the folders, and her interest was immediately piqued. She had seen them of course, but she hadn’t asked what they were, even though he knew she desperately wanted to. 

‘I- You’ve been making great progress in the last few months,” Shouta said, his mind blanking on all of the mock conversations he had held in his head in the last 72 hours. Why am I even telling her this now? I have no idea how she’s gonna react, and it might upset her. There was no going back now though, the only way left was through. Shouta tried again.

“You know that you were placed with me temporarily. Just as long as it took for you to regain control of your quirk and to ensure that no accidents happened. Because you’ve been doing such a good job working on that, we’ve been looking for a permanent placement for you. A home with a family,”

Eri wasn’t jumping for joy, but she wasn’t bursting into loud sobs or throwing a tantrum either. She was just staring at him. Shouta opened the first folder, with the picture of the two women who were smiling and waving at the camera.

“These are the Yamashitas. Nezu gave me three choices of potential foster parents for you, and I think that they would be the best fit. They live close enough that you can visit Midoriya and the others, and Mirio will continue to look after you in the day if that’s what you want. They’re very nice, and they know a bit about what you’ve dealt with, so they aren’t going in blind,” 

Eri picked up the picture and looked at the couple. She could read their application, but Shouta doubted that she would. Most of the technical vernacular would go over her head, and that wasn’t really what mattered. He cleared his throat to try and get rid of the weight settling there and took a deep breath. 

“If you decide that you might want to live with them, I’ll set up a meeting for you. I’ll be there, and you can talk to them and learn about them, and they’ll learn about you too. If you don’t like them, then that’s it. You won’t have to go with them,” 

Eri put the picture down, still keeping quiet. It’s time. She should know. 

“Principal Nezu believes that you should know all of your potential options, and I agree. If you don’t like the Yamashitas, then there are two other families that you could meet. And there’s another option as well.” Shouta shut his eyes, giving himself some relief from the intense pressure radiating from the back of his skull. That was why he was keeping his eyes shut. Certainly not hiding from a six year old girl. Shouta was an adult, a pro hero, he wouldn’t be afraid of a six year olds reactions, “You could also choose to stay here with me,” 

“What?” It made sense she was confused, so Shouta decided a clinical approach would be best. Just give her the straight facts, and then it was neutral ground to make her decision on. 

“Right now you’re in emergency care. I’m considered your emergency guardian. Kind of like the police officers who were outside of your room in the hospital. If you chose to stay here, I wouldn’t just be your emergency guardian, I would be your foster parent.” 

“What does that mean?” 

“Well, if anything happened to you, they would call me first. They would already do that now, but if I sign those papers, no one can make any decisions on your behalf but me. No one can place you anywhere without my consent, so you would be permanently here. Unless you wanted to be placed somewhere else, and then I would do that as quickly as possible,” Shouta backtracked, suddenly realizing how overbearing that all must have sounded. Reframe it. How would Hizashi say it? 

“All of the options give you the same thing, the thing that we’ve been wanting you to have since we first rescued you. A home, and a family,” Eri’s eyes were impossibly wide now, and Shouta sighed, “I won’t be angry if you choose to live somewhere else, I won’t get mad. It’s what you want, and what’s best for you,”

No, not angry. But there’s no denying you’ll be sad to see this one go. Shouta couldn’t help the thought, but he wished he hadn’t had it. Eri had taken her gaze off of him and was now focused on the kitchen table. He couldn’t see her hands from where he was, but he was sure that her fingernails were digging into her palms. 

“What do you think?” There it was, the question he had prayed she wouldn’t ask. It was the one question that would topple his detached exterior, the one that would force him to reveal his hand. 

“You never got a choice in any of this. You were born to cruel people who hurt you, and then you were brought here to live with me without anyone giving you any say. This is important, and I don’t think that this decision should be up to anyone but you,” Shouta said, avoiding the question seamlessly. He had prepared for this, he knew what to say. 

Eri didn’t respond. He waited. She waited. She’s waiting me out, Shouta thought incredulously, She's going to wait until she hears my answer. How is that fair?!

He shouldn’t answer. He knew the question would come, and he knew that either way the answer would be a factor in what she chose to do. It shouldn’t be up to him, it should be up to Eri. But there was only so many times he could be strong in one day, and there she was, sitting and waiting for him to say she wanted her. 

“If it’s what you want, and only if it’s what you want,” He started, making sure she heard his serious tone, “I would be happy to have you stay.” 

Eri’s morose look evaporated into thin air and she tumbled out of her seat, running around the table and jumping up into Shouta’s arms. He caught her automatically, letting out a groan at the weight pressing into his stomach. She was giggling, locked onto him with no intentions of letting go anytime soon. Shouta couldn’t help his own happiness, and he decided to not even try, leaning down to grab his girl so he could settle her properly on his lap. He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, but it was long enough to settle the tension that had been living in his spine and the pain that had been taking root in his chest. Eri pulled back to look up at him with starry eyes.

“I told you I didn’t want you to leave. Now you won’t,” She proclaimed, not a shred of doubt in her. He laughed softly and wrapped his arms back around her, setting his chin on top of her head. 

“No, I won't,”

“I don’t know if I’m cut out for this,” Eri said with a dubious tone, looking up at Shouta and scowling, “Do I have to?” 

“It’s school Eri, not prison,” He reminded her, putting the apple he had just washed into her lunch box and zipping it up. He had prepared her with all of her favorites, onigiri with pickled plums, dried seaweed snacks, and a fresh apple. She had helped to prepare it all the night before, and she had been nervous but excited for the first day of school then. 

Now all of that excitement was gone, and all that was left was an overwhelmed little girl. Shouta knelt down so they were at eye level to one another and he held out his hands palms up. Eri put her own in his and looked up at him from behind her hair. 

“You’re gonna do great today,” He said, squeezing her hands, “What’s gonna help you feel like you’ll do great?” 

She thought for a moment, and then leaned over to whisper the answer in his ear. Shouta rolled his eyes, but he nodded and told her to get what she wanted while he finished packing her up for the day. By the time he was done and had walked into the living room, she had set everything the way she wanted. 

“What’ll it be today?” Shouta asked, sitting behind Eri and beginning to brush her hair out. 

“Two buns, please!” She declared, “With my shiny barrettes,”

Shouta paused to turn the TV onto the nature channel and began the process of styling Eri’s hair the way she wanted. By now the process was lightning fast, and not even fifteen minutes had passed before her hair was gathered into twin buns on either side of her head, and he was capturing flyaways to nestle them in barrettes of all colors. 

“Does it hurt?” He checked.

“No,” Eri immediately responded, entranced by the dolphins that were racing across the screen. He placed the final barrette in her hair and handed her bag over, grabbing his own from the end table and standing. She skipped after him and took his hand, both walking out of the apartment together. It was a short walk to Eri’s school, only two blocks from UA with great reviews. There were other students her age playing in the courtyard, chasing one another and screeching in laughter. Eri faltered again as they reached the gate, lagging so she was a step behind Shouta instead of right next to him. 

“Don’t forget I have a patrol after work. Uraraka and Midoriya are going to pick you up and take you to the dorms till I get back. Go to bed on time, I won’t be back till after,” Shouta relayed, hoping the treat of getting to see two of her favorite people would distract the little girl.

The news did its job, and Eri was back to being all smiles. A placid woman in a conservative blouse and skirt walked over, and Shouta recognized her as Eri’s new teacher. 

“Aizawa-san, I’m pleased to see you again,” She said, holding a slim hand out for him to take, “This is your foster daughter?” 

Shouta put a hand on Eri’s back and gently nudged her forward. She introduced herself shyly and the teacher gave the girl a warm smile. He had briefed her on Eri’s educational history, and he trusted that she would know the best ways to integrate the girl in with her new classmates. Before too long the teacher had Eri happy and ready to go into school. She ushered her in and Shouta watched her go. 

“Bye Dad!” Eri called, turning back to give him a wave before running off to join some of her classmates in a game. Shouta blinked twice, trying to wrap his head around the word. It was the word that hadn't been used yet, and he hadn’t expected it to ever pop up. 

I could get used to it , he decided as he began the walk to UA, keeping an ear out and catching Eri’s fading laughter mixing with the others as he left.