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He sighed for what felt like the millionth time. It was their first day off in ages and Renjun had hoped to use it catching up on some sleep. Mark and Haechan had chosen to join the rest of 127 for a dorm game night, and Jisung and Chenle were busy playing with Daegal at the oldest of the twos home. Like so many other times that left just three at the Dream dorm. Renjun vaguely remembers someone knocking on his door and telling him something, but he had been so out of it that news of an alien invasion could have been ignored.
For hours now he had been lying in bed trying to sleep. He was tired, exhausted, but sleep wouldn’t come. Renjun peered at the clock: 7:38 p.m. He had lay awake through any appropriate time to nap. He knew he should just get up, giving up on the napping plan, but everything just felt so heavy. His eyelids were heavy, dragging down each time he attempted to blink them open. His limbs were weighed down, as if they were filled with lead. Moving anything made it feel like the air was thick and syrupy.
Sighing again, Renjun realized that much of his discomfort came from just…everywhere. His skin was itching. No, not itching, crawling. No… crawling wasn’t right either. It was like he had twice as many nerves. Everything was uncomfortable and prickling lightly. He was instantly reminded of writing in school. When you rush to get as many words on paper as possible all at once. Your hands start to feel odd, and then they tingle. Suddenly you desperately have to shake that feeling out. Renjun was overwhelmed by the sense that he had to fix it, but shaking it out didn’t really seem like the best option.
He groaned. God, he was so irritable. Everything was wrong and uncomfortable and terrible and aggravating and lonely and sad and… wait… lonely? Sad? The issue was sleep, not loneliness. How could he even be lonely? This was the first time in months that he hadn’t been surrounded by the noise and chaos that accompanied the seven boys. Jisung wasn’t always loud per se, but he was always there. He usually occupied the bed opposite Renjun’s whenever either of them was in the room. Being lonely just didn’t make sense.
His stomach growled, foiling the very last possible plans of sleep. Time to get up. Unrolling from his blanket burrito, Renjun realized the position he had been in. He had been lying with the majority of his blanket bunched up in his arms. And not just in a ball, but a ball that he had been hugging, cuddling with.
As he tried to stand the sensation on his skin didn’t stop, if anything it grew. With a yet another suffering sigh Renjun stood. His blanket had made its way to his shoulders, and followed him from the bed to the door. As he opened the door to his room, the quiet became much more noticeable. Right, most of his members were out. But not all of them… where were Jaemin and Jeno?
Quickly enough he got his answer. As he rounded the corner of the hallway he spotted them. The TV was on in their living room, paused on a scenic frame of a studio Ghibli film that Renjun was too tired to identify. Jaemin was leaned into the right arm of their ugly brown couch. He looked so soft. He was wearing that blue sweater that Renjun knew for a fact was incredibly plush. His hair was down and fluffy. He looked so homey. This was a side to Jaemin that he did get to see pretty frequently, but it still stunned him every time. Jaemin was so beautiful. Even the blue-ish light of the tv could illuminate him perfectly. Jaemin the angel.
He looked at Jeno. The other boy was also curled up looking completely unlike the camera-ready face their fans saw. Just like Jaemin his hair was down, and he was wearing a white hoodie. Jeno looked peaceful. Everything about him looked cuddly. Wait… cuddly? Sitting next to Jaemin was a challenge for most, as the boy’s natural attractiveness could make just about anyone look bad. Jeno was an exception. Even without his signature eye smile Jeno was breath taking. Neither boy appeared to be sleeping, but both were so relaxed and silent that it was hard to tell.
Original mission completely forgotten, Renjun stepped closer to the couch. The closer he got the more it felt like a magnet was drawing him toward the other two boys. Jaemin looked up.
“Injunnie?”
The puppy eyes Jeno gave him as Jaemin said his name so softly melted the rest of his impulse control. He was tired. He walked forward the remaining distance to the couch and plopped himself down in the space between Jeno and Jaemin. He had sat down shins first, causing him to lean into the youngest boy. Renjun’s head ended up on Jaemin’s shoulder, and his feet and lower legs in Jeno’s lap.
Everything about this was just so unlikely. Jaemin was the affectionate one, and Jeno hugged just about anything that moves. But Renjun was all bite. If someone got too close he would let out some snarky comment. The members all knew that his jabs meant nothing, but he still didn’t do skinship. He definitely didn’t so cuddling. Sitting basically in the two boys laps, Renjun felt better. The fire ants that had been crawling on his skin started to slow down, and that deep feeling that everything was wrong was gone.
He was so busy thinking that he didn’t even notice Jaemin’s hand make its way into his hair, but he sure did realize as it started to leave. The whine left Renjun’s lips before he even had time to do anything about it.
“Awe, did you just come in here for some snuggles,” Jaemin said, laughter clear in his voice.
Renjun started to move away, face turning pink in embarrassment, when Jeno spoke.
“Jaeminnie didn’t mean it like that.” He could tell Jeno was also smiling. “It’s okay to need some attention every once in a while.”
“And we are more than happy for you to join us here.”
The hand in Renjun’s hair resumed its path, gently scraping against his scalp. It felt so nice. He felt loved. He sighed again, this time contented.
“Sweetheart,” Jaemin said to get his attention, “you know we’re always here for you. All you have to do is ask.” Renjun stayed quiet.
“Stop it,” Jeno said, warm had coming to rest on Renjun’s ankle. “He’s embarrassed.”
The two boys were clearly communicating silently above him, but Renjun couldn’t find the energy to care. Jaemin’s left hand was buried in his hair. Renjun could feel as his left hand was enveloped in Jaemin’s right one. The bigger hand settled more of the jittering he had felt down to his bones. Jeno had clearly gotten the same message, as his hands started to move as well. His right found Renjun’s, forcing him to be practically hugging himself, and his left rubbed gentle circles in Renjun’s calf.
Renjun’s whole body was slowly relaxing. The four hands on him were thawing the ice that had seemed to haunt him during his failed nap. He didn’t feel so lonely anymore either. Renjun drifted off filled with love for the boys on either side of him.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The first thing he noticed was the smell of food. Renjun’s stomach growled before he even properly woke up. Right, his initial reason to leave his room: dinner. It smelled so good. He was so warm and comfortable, other than the gnawing hunger. Warm. Wait….
Renjun stirred. His top half was so cosy and pillowed on something soft. He blinked his eyes open.
“Sweetheart, are you awake?”
Who was Jaemin calling? He sat up properly to find the other half of the couch empty. Looking up, Jaemin was smiling at him sweetly. Jaemin was right there, too close to have not been pressed right against him as he slept.
“You must have been tired to fall asleep on my lap like that,” Jaemin said, still grinning ear to ear.
That explained it. The soft warmth that had surrounded him was Jaemin, one of his best friends. The younger boy had let him sleep on top of him. Oh god this was humiliating.
“Jeno should be coming back with the food. It was just delivered.”
Another question he hadn’t yet voiced. The smell must be whatever the other two had decided to order. Renjun stretched and yawned, turning to Jaemin to speak.
“I’ll go make something when he’s out of the kitchen.” Jaemin frowned. “Don’t worry,” he continued, “I wont steal any of your food.”
“Injunnie, you really think we’d just forget about you like that?” Jaemin was still frowning. “You didn’t answer when I knocked earlier, so we figured you were asleep. We ordered your favourite.”
Oh, so that’s what the noise had been. Jeno and Jaemin had really been thinking about him, and they’d ordered him something. Something inside him settled. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he spoke again.
“Thanks Jaeminnie, I really appreciate you-” that wasn’t what he meant to say, “It. I appreciate it.”
Jaemin’s smile never faltered. Just as the blush across Renjun’s cheeks and ears began to fade Jeno walked back in, three bowls balanced precariously in his hands.
“This one is for you, honey,” he said handing a bowl to Jaemin. Their eyes met, sparkling. It was amazing how much the two of them seemed to be able to communicate without saying anything at all.
“And this is yours, love”
Renjun was absolutely blushing. It hadn’t been out of place for him to call Jaemin honey; the two of them had practically always been like that. But to hear a pet name like that come from Jeno and be directed at himself? Renjun was ready to combust. He took the bowl with a polite smile and started eating, intentionally looking down to avoid any and all eye contact.
“You’re feeling better now?” Jaemin asked.
Renjun thought for a moment. He was still tired, as was expected after such a short nap, but he did feel better. He didn’t feel so off. The discomfort under his skin had gone, and with food now starting to settle he felt content. There was just no way to explain all that. He couldn’t really tell the others that his whole body had felt like a cramped hand from writing too long. He settled on something shorter.
“Thank you.”
“You don’t ever have to thank us,” Jeno said, eye smile reappearing. Renjun set his now empty bowl down on the coffee table in front of him. Drawing back, he felt a weight on his leg. Jeno’s hand was resting palm up just about Renjun’s knee. It wasn’t a secret that the boy liked to hold hands; even the fans had pointed it out countless times. It was more unusual, however, for the object of these affections to not be Jaemin. Still feeling the soft effects of his nap, Renjun didn’t hesitate. Jeno’s long fingers wrapped around the back of his hand, making it look small. As Jeno’s thumb started to move in little circles, Renjun felt his own shoulders relax.
As weird as it felt to admit, he really had just needed someone to touch him. Not in a sexual way or anything (he was perfectly fine taking care of that himself), but simply physical contact.
“You know, baby,” Jaemin started, “you don’t have to act so tough.” The youngest boy had clearly seen through Renjun’s hard exterior. “You can just ask.”
Renjun really doubted that. How bizarre would it sound to seek someone out just to demand that they hold your hand, or sit next to you, or just literally touch you in any way whatsoever? He wouldn’t do that.
“Really. Just ask.” Jeno was still smiling as he spoke.
“Its okay,” Renjun looked first at Jeno and then at Jaemin, “I’m just tense.”
Clearly this was not the right thing to say. Jeno’s hand stayed in his, but the boy turned on the couch so that he faced Renjun.
“Turn.” Jeno said, gently pulling at Renjun’s shoulder so that he would have his back to Jeno, facing Jaemin. He turned. The hand not holding Renjun’s, the right one, moved up to his shoulder. Jeno was being so careful. Slowly his fingers started to dig into the muscle. Renjun hadn’t even been lying, he was tense, every inch of his body could have passed for stone, and tension headaches pounded at his skull more often than not.
His eyes slipped closed again, forcing him to look away from Jaemin’s steady gaze. Jeno’s hand slowly worked across the tops of his shoulder. After only a few short minutes it was becoming difficult to keep his head up. Renjun felt himself jerk back up, alerting Jeno to his half sleep state, and Jaemin to the fact that he was more than just relaxed. Jeno sighed and slipped his hand from Renjun’s grasp.
“Honey, do you mind cleaning up a bit? Our baby seems to be falling asleep.”
“Of course.”
With that Renjun felt the couch move slightly under him, weight shifting. Jeno arm slid under his and around his back, other arm finding its place under his knees. Jeno picked him up like he weighed nothing. Sure Renjun was small, but Jeno wasn’t much taller. Clearly all that time at the gym had more benefits than just a quick flash of abs. If he had been any less out of it, Renjun is sure he would be making a fuss, but was just so tired. Jeno’s arms around him felt so good.
In his hazy state he didn’t notice which room he had been carried into. Jeno laid him gently on the bed, Jeno’s bed. His clothes weren’t an issue as he had hadn’t changed after his attempted first nap. Skin care had also been taken care of earlier, and he could go one night without brushing his teeth. Jeno’s warm hands didn’t leave, instead making their way down his back to work out all the tension. Soon enough he felt more hands on him. Jaemin’s weren’t quite as warm, but they touched him with just as much tenderness and love. One rubbed his arms, and the other went back to his head.
As soon as Jaemin’s hand made its way to his hair Renjun was asleep, completely dead to the world with a smile on his face and for a second time that night, two warm bodies pressed against his own.