Archive of Our Own

Alec shifted in the dark, a sharp feeling of foreboding emanating in his stomach when he felt the shackles around his wrists. Slowly, he peeled his eyes open and was unsurprised to see that he was in some dark basement somewhere.

He racked his brain, trying to remember how he had gotten there in the first place. He had been in the subway tunnel, and Magnus had just broken up with him. He remembered feeling rage, at Camille, but mostly at himself, remembered running into Camille’s chamber with a seraph blade in his hand.

He didn’t remember anything that happened after that.

Alec clenched his jaw. Magnus had probably expected him to break the news to his siblings, but he never got the chance. Which meant that they thought he was still at Magnus’s place. Magnus thought that he was at the institute - no, wait, he expected Alec to come in the afternoon and take his things. If Alec’s stuff still remained after Magnus returned, he’d hopefully get suspicious.

Alec took in deep harsh breaths, forcing himself to remain calm. He looked around the room. It had thick concrete walls, and an unpolished floor covered in a thick layer of dust. The walls were all plain and windowless but for a door on the opposite end of the room and the shackles that bound Alec to wall.

He tugged at the chains experimentally. They were fixed to the wall above Alec’s head, and the chains were short enough that Alec’s arms were upraised. He could feel the twinges of an oncoming ache.

Alec pulled hard at the chains, attempting to yank them out of the concrete walls. No matter how hard he pulled, how much he tried, they never budged.

“Those chains aren’t going to break,” said a voice, a familiar voice from the corner, and Alec flinched. The door was open now, and shrouded in the shadows stood Camille Belcourt. “They haven’t broken in hundreds of years, and they aren’t going to break now.”

“Why did you bring me here?” Alec demanded through clenched teeth. “What are you going to do to me?”

Camille raised an eyebrow. “Quite a bold one, aren’t you?”

She moved closer, and Alec evaluated his options. His legs were free, and he could kick out at Camille, preventing her from getting any closer. She must’ve sensed his thoughts, somehow, because the next moment she was right in front of Alec, crouching, and he had to choke on a scream when he felt a sharp pain in his thighs.

“You shadowhunters simply don’t quit, do you?” Camille said softly, pulling out the twin shards of glass that had been stabbed into his thighs. She grinned, a fiendish grin that showed off her fangs. “Can’t you see I’m trying to help you?”

Alec clenched his jaws, trying his best to stifle a cry.

“I heard everything, you know,” Camille said. She was now kneeling in front of him, her blonde hair falling past her shoulders, the tips of her locks now stained red thanks to all the blood spilling out of Alec’s wounds. “Magnus left you, didn’t he?g He broke up with you, and quite brutally so."

"What happened between us is none of your business," Alec snapped.

"But it is," Camille emphasized. "It's all my fault, isn't it? I'm the one who wronged you. I'm the villain here, aren’t I?"

Alec just stared at her, incredulous.

"Just let me right my wrong," Camille said. "Magnus will come to realize that he made a mistake in leaving you. He did say he loved you. But by then, it could be too late. You're mortal. You're a shadowhunter. You could be dead by the time Magnus comes for you." Camille leaned in close, her breath touching Alec’s ear as she whispered. "I can make sure you live. I can give you the gift of time."

Alec’s heart sank when she realized what she meant. "No. No."

He tried to resist, but as soon as he tried to move his leg, the wound burned like fire. Alec’s breathing was turning ragged now, the only sound in the entire room. 

"Relax." Camille gripped his hair in one hand, tilting his head back and exposing his neck. "It'll be over in a matter of minutes."

"Don't do this," Alec said, panic flooding through his veins. "You'll be breaking the accords-"

"I've already broken the accords," Camille said in a low voice. "I already have a death sentence to my name. Besides, you can only kill a vampire once."

Camille's fangs flashed in the dark, and Alec screamed.

Hours later, he woke up in a graveyard, covered in grave dirt. There were no runes on his body. He wondered how Jace was now, how he was coping with Alec’s presumed death. Jace would've felt it, of course, but nobody knew what he was now.

Days passed. He wondered what he was supposed to do now. Should he go and find his siblings? Or would they rather he was dead than be a vampire?

Alec immediately brushed that thought away. Simon was a vampire, too, and that didn't stop Clary and Isabelle and even Jace, in his own strange way, from loving him.

He briefly considered, but immediately put down the thought of going to Magnus.

In the end, he decided to stay away. Camille had made him immortal, but she abandoned him even before he climbed out of the dirt. If he went to any of the vampire clans, word would inevitably reach Magnus. He didn’t want to face his family, to show them the culmination of all his mistakes.

So he left.

He recalled a distant memory, of Magnus telling him that he and the Paris vampires were on bad terms. Magnus wouldn't look there. The vampires wouldn't tell. So that's where he went.

The days went by in a haze of sitting by the blacked out windows, skin pressed against whatever little warmth seeped in and wondering. How was Jace? How was Isabelle? Simon? Clary? Magnus?

He knew there was nothing he could do by dwelling on the past, but to be honest, there was nothing else left to do. He knew the other vampires were skeptical of him, the vampire who lounged around all day, did nothing other than drink blood and sleep. But he had years of Shadowhunter training, and one demonstration was enough to keep them all off his tail. 

Days passed. Decades turned their leaves. Nothing changed. The world revolved, shifting and changing day after day, and Alexander Lightwood remained the same.

Alec had no idea how he ended up in Magnus's apartment in Paris.

He'd been walking through the city at night, thinking of simpler times, when he and Magnus had been here on their first vacation, when someone had grabbed his wrist from behind.

The someone had been Magnus, and here was now. Magnus sat on an adjacent couch, rubbing the bridge of his nose with two patient fingers, his eyes closed.

"I thought you were dead," Magnus said after a long two minutes of silence. "We all did. The morning after-" Magnus's voice cracked for a brief second, but he breezed through it. "Jace felt the bond break. We tried to track you, but it was… empty. We assumed you were too heartbroken and took your own life."

Magnus opened his eyes, turning them up to the ceiling and leaning back into the cushions. "I blamed myself. They all blamed me, too. They were just kind enough never to say it out loud."

"It wasn't your fault," Alec said, his voice hollow. "It was all mine. I went after Camille. I got myself into this."

Magnus shook his head. "Don't. You didn't ask her to make you immortal, did you?"

Alec shook his head. "No."

Hesitating a moment, he added, "How are Jace and Isabelle?"

"They passed recently," was all Magnus said.

"Oh." Alec should've known. It had been nearly a century since he was Turned.

"Jace named his son after you," Magnus said, and Alec’s heart clenched. "Alexander Herondale."

It was a good thing Alec didn't have to breathe, otherwise he'd be finding it very hard right now.

"Why run away?" Magnus asked, and he sounded very tired. "Why not reach out to us? Why, Alexander?"

"What was I supposed to tell people?" Alec said, his voice breaking the slightest bit. "That I was in cahoots with my lover's ex-girlfriend, and she betrayed me and Turned me?"

"Alexander-"

Akec shook his head. "Goodbye, Magnus. Don't come and try to find me again."

"Alexander, wait!"

Alec stood up, running to the door. He was in the middle of unlatching it when Magnus reached him, wrapping his arms around Alec and pulling him away.

"Alexander, please," Magnus said, and it almost broke Alec's heart to hear him like this. "I can't lose you again, baby, please-"

"Let me go!" Alec yelled, trying to break free of Magnus's grip. "You were going to lose me anyway, Magnus!"

"That was different!" Magnus let go of Alec, but placed several wards on the doors and windows, all glimmering blue, so that Alec couldn't escape. "You were mortal then, and you aren't now! It's all different now, Alexander."

Magnus was breathing hard as he spoke. "I spent so many years thinking you were dead, but now I know you're alive, that you were alive the whole time… Do you really expect me to let you go, just like that?"

"You did let me go," Alec said softly. "You let me go that day, in the tunnel. Remember?"

Magnus's jaw clenched, and he looked away. "I was a fool that day."

"If it weren't for you breaking up with me that day," Alec said, unable to speak out these words. "I wouldn't have gone after Camille. I wouldn't be here right now. I would never have been turned into a vampire."

Magnus paled, looking as if he had been slapped in the face. He blinked several times, and then looked away, avoiding Alec's gaze.

"You're blaming me too, Alexander?"

Alec said nothing.

Magnus waved a hand, and the wards vanished. "Leave."

Magnus turned away without another word. Alec looked at him one last time, then walked out the door.