Chapter Text
Once upon a time, Dirk once lived in a house with a house in it. Dirk liked Dirk but Dirk didn't have similar emotions and feelings towards Dirk. But our story takes place years before this, 70,728,182 millinea ago to be precise. Nothing is everything and everything is nothing. But let us go forward 70,728,182 millinea ahead in time, to where Dirk is feeding Dirk a bowl of hot oatmeal with oats in it. "Oh Dirk, can you read me a bedtime story?" Dirk said "Sure," Dirk responded "But under one condition," Dirk finalized with his response. "But what is the fuckin thingy dingy you fuckin er" Dirk said. "If you give me headrub i will tell you time of bed story Dirk." Dirk says to Dirk. When it came to their bedtime, Dirk and Dirk were ready to do something for their significant other. Dirk began giving Dirk a very nice headrub. He put his hand into Dirk's hair and began moving his air swiftly stroking each and every strand very carefully to make sure to not hurt his hair, as it is precious. "Thank you Dirk for the headrub, now let me tell you a story." Dirk continues, "Cancún, a Mexican city on the Yucatán Peninsula bordering the Caribbean Sea, is known for its beaches, numerous resorts and nightlife. It’s composed of 2 distinct areas: the more traditional downtown area, El Centro, and Zona Hotelera, a long, beachfront strip of high-rise hotels, nightclubs, shops and restaurants. Cancun is also a famed destination for students during universities’ spring break period." Dirk finished his story. "Oh my god Dirk I loved that so much, as do I with you ;)" Dirk said to Dirk. "But Dirk, that's selfcest, and we dont do that here!" Dirk reasoned. "Fine, Dirk." And our story concludes.