Chapter Text
Peter Parker had a routine. That wasn't unusual in the least. Everyone had a routine, really. Even if they didn't realize it. Peter's routine was simple. Get up, go to school, go home, poop in the privacy of his own bathroom and then go out and patrol for as long as he could without getting himself into trouble. However, his routine got shaken up just a little bit when he started his 'real internship'. On those day's he was meant to head straight to Stark Industries building right after school, via Happy's backseat.
But on his first day in Tony's personal lab he was ecstatic to find out that the man had a single-use bathroom attached to his workspace. With permission granted he hurridly disappeared behind the door, coming out several minutes later feeling much more focused. Thus his Tuesday and Friday routine was born. Get up, go to school, ride to the tower, allow Tony to explain the day's project and then excuse himself to the bathroom.
That routine was working well. So well that it became predictable even Tony had the routine figured out. To the point that he would give the daily run down followed by saying something along the lines of 'I'll get you all set up once you get back from the bathroom.' Of course, with things going so, well, smoothly, it wasn't exactly surprising when one Friday afternoon Peter hit a snag in his daily habits.
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"Hey, Mr. Stark.", Peter said as he walked into the lab on Friday afternoon. "What are we going to be working on today?", he asked hoping for a quick explanation. There had been traffic on the way there and he was more than ready to head into the bathroom in more ways one. His bladder was screaming and his lower abdomen was cramping. Part of him wanted to skip the entire run down and go straight to the toilet.
Tony rolled his eyes as he watched the boy shifting from foot to foot in an anxious manner and knew exactly what the problem was. "Just go to the bathroom. I can' talk to you when you're done."
It took no prompting to get Peter to dart across the large room and into the bathroom. But the second he got in there he noticed a huge problem. The toilet paper roll was completely empty. There wasn't a single square attached to the cardboard cylinder that typically sat on the counter beside the toilet. After crossing his legs for a moment, he took a quick peek under the cabinets and in the small linen closet. When the effort yielded nothing, he hobbled over to the toilet to empty his bladder before it came spilling out onto the floor.
Once he had that part of his body at ease, he was able to look around a bit more but there didn't seem to be any rolls stored anywhere. Eventually, he gave up, flushed the toilet and washed his hands. "Sorry, Mr. Stark.", he said with an ever so slightly sheepish grin, "... but I really had to pee.", he added, having already decided that he wasn't going to ask the man about the toilet paper. The last thing he wanted was for the man to realize that he took a dump in the lab bathroom every single time he came over. He wasn't even sure why that was embarrassing but for some reason it was.
Tony once again rolled his eyes as he went into a thorough explanation of what they would be doing and started to set up the work station with the appropriate tools. After while Peter was left to work on his own and that when things really started to get worse. The pressure in his abdomen had increased and passing gas had become inevitable as his body tried to demand he follow through with what he'd set out to do in the bathroom earlier. Worse yet, he needed to pee again and he wasn't sure he could walk in and out of the bathroom again without emptying himself completely.
His thoughts were interrupted by Tony calling him over to see what he had just finished and Peter panicked a little. He didn't think there was any way for him to stand beside the man without him smelling the gas that kept slipping past his backside. A look at the clock said that there were still two hours left until he was meant to go home and that sealed it. He was going to have to basically tell his literal idol that he needed to poop.
"What's up with you, kid?", Tony asked when Peter had slowly made his way over to him. "Usually you're excited to see what I've done. Am I boring to you now? The fanboy-ness has worn off?"
"No.", Peter replied with a shake of his head. "You're still the best, I promise. I just..."
"Just what?", Tony probed when Peter's words trailed off.
"Well... There's no toilet paper.", Peter grumbled under his breath.
Tony laughed lightly and walked across the room towards the large supply closet to find another roll. It only took him about three seconds to realize there wasn't anymore in there. Usually, there was a giant stack but apparently, he'd taken out the last roll and not ordered anymore. "You're right. There's not any. I'll have to get some. In the meantime, if you need to go, you can use the bathrooms on the floor below.", Tony said as he walked towards Peter who had been anxiously waiting to be handed a brand new roll.
"Maybe I'll just go grab some and bring it back up here.", Peter said as he tapped his foot on the floor in a nervous rhythm. They had been down to that floor regularly during his visits. It held the employee lounge and cafeteria. Those bathrooms were not private and while peeing in a public bathroom was no big deal he hated the idea of pooping where anyone could hear him. He hated it so much that he was willing to sound crazy by saying he would carry a roll back up so that he could use the preferred toilet.
"Kid... you--", Tony started before he realized what the problem was. "Never mind, come on."
"Where are we going?", Peter asked with some urgency to his tone. He really needed to go and he couldn't go there. Well, he probably could, he just didn't want to.
"Up to my penthouse.", Tony said and when Peter looked even more nervous he sighed. "I figured we could eat dinner there tonight and you could use the bathroom."
Unable to do anything else, Peter nodded his head and followed the man to the elevator. Then the moment the doors closed he could feel the gas in his abdomen forcing its way out and no amount of squeezing his cheeks could stop it. It came trumpeting out of his backside in one long note. "Oh my God... I am so sorry, Mr. Stark.", he said as his face absolutely burned.
"You're fine. Don't worry about it, kid.", Tony replied, trying his hardest not to laugh at the poor kid's reaction. "Passing gas is normal. Everybody does it.", he added with a smirk but Peter didn't seem to see the humor. If anything his ears got a little redder. The moment the private elevator came to a stop Tony pointed Peter towards the hall bathroom where he darted in, quickly yanked his pants down and dropped onto the toilet in one fluid motion.
While Peter was taking care of his urgent business Tony was in the kitchen getting ready to order their usual Friday night pizza while still chuckling under his breath at the kid's adamancy that he needed a private place to shit. He didn't mind helping him out though. He'd been meaning to invite the kid up to his actual home for a while and decided that this was his chance.
Then Pepper walked in. "What are you doing up here? I thought you were with Peter tonight?"
"Oh, I am. He's here.", Tony said and when Pepper started looking around for him he laughed. "He's in the bathroom. The poor kid needed to drop a duce and the lab bathroom was out of toilet paper. I'm pretty sure he'd been holding it for hours when he finally decided to ask me if there was any more but there wasn't. Then I find out that he can't shit in a public bathroom so I brought him up here... and you can not tell him I told you any of that. I swear if his face gets any redder his head is going to explode."
"I wouldn't dare.", Pepper said with a smile as Peter came back from down the hall.
"Thank you, Mr. Stark and I'm still really sorry--", he started before cutting himself off at the appearance of one Pepper Potts. "Ms. Potts!"
"Hello, Peter it's nice to finally meet you. Tony had told me so much about you.", Pepper said kindly as she held out her hand for the enamored teenager to shake.
"It's uh, it's nice to meet you too.", Peter said as he looked towards Tony for any kind of support. He was not expecting to meet the CEO of the company directly after taking an emergency crap in Tony's guest bathroom.
Feeling, kind and generous at the moment, Tony smiled at the boy and gestured towards his girlfriend. "I invited her up to eat dinner with us tonight. I hope you don't mind."
"No, that's great.", Peter replied, thankful that it didn't seem like his predicament had been given away.
And from that day forward Tony had the teenager meet him in the penthouse before they got to work because with Pepper living with him, there was never a lack of toilet paper in any of the bathrooms. Peter was grateful.