Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Merlin’s POV-Age 10

Everyone was excited. The people of Camelot had come out in droves to see the spectacle. The children were laughing and playing. The parents had brought refreshments and were ready to start picnicking once the show had finished. Every month, one day was assigned to enjoy the peace of King Uther’s rule.

Mom and I had just arrived in Camelot. After the horrors we saw in Ealdor, I wanted to enjoy, and I dragged my mother towards the festive crowd.

“Merlin! We have to meet Gaius,” she shouted after me.

“Mom, please. The people are celebrating. We can meet Gaius after the celebrations. I want to have some fun.”

“No, Merlin. It is bad manners to keep people waiting.”

“Gaius does not know we are coming. He can wait. Come on, mom. Please,” I begged.

She relented and started following me towards the crowd. I saw a few children of my age playing at the front, and I wiggled my way towards them. I knew my mother would follow.

“Can I join you?” I asked the young girl who was closest to me, and the only person I could get hold off while the rest were running.

“You are not from here? Well, I am Gwen. You can join me. My brother Elyan is the stag. We have to capture him.”

“I am Merlin. I just moved to Camelot with my mother. I am a fast runner, and I can catch your brother,” I smilingly replied.

“Then come on. Catch him,” she challenged and then continued, “I am not saying you can't, but Elyan is fast, not that you are not fast, but he is swift.”

I grinned and started running towards the guy. I could see that he was surrounded by two directions, and he like Will focused on brute strength to dodge the other kids who got close to him. I miss Will, but I can use the same strategy I used to catch Will.

“Hey Gwen, do you want to partner with me. I have a strategy that we can use. We will run after him together. You will try to capture from the front like usual, and while he tries to dodge you, I will get hold of his legs from behind. A stag that cannot run falls down and is captured.”

Gwen laughed, “I have never caught Elyan before, and he is the best. No one is ever able to capture him. If you can corner and hold him, you will become a hero.”

With the plan settled, she ran towards her brother while I moved towards his back. My focus was to strangle one of his legs, which required perfect timing. Luckily, Gwen’s dodge bought him closer to me, and I jumped towards his leg. I hugged it like my life depended on keeping the hold and then pulled my self backward. Elyan toppled with me.

Gwen shouted, “Merlin, you did it. You captured Elyan.”

I let go of Elyan’s leg and stood up, “We did it, Gwen. We did it. Without your help, my plan would not have worked.”

“And who are you?” Elyan asked angrily.

I replied while moving my hand forward to shake his, “I am Merlin. It's my first day in Camelot.”

Elyan snickered, “We don’t accept people who cheat in Camelot. This is the house of the finest knights of the realm, and you are a cheat.”

I scowled, “I did not cheat.”

“You did. Merlin is a cheater.”

The other children except for Gwen took up the slogan and started circling me while shouting

“Merlin is a cheater.”

“Merlin is a cheater.”

I was about to cry and run away when a voice boomed in the arena, “Let this serve as a lesson to all. This man, Thomas James Collins, is adjudged guilty of conspiring to use enchantments and magic. And according to the laws of Camelot, I, Uther Pendragon, have decreed that such practices are banned on penalty of death. I pride myself as a fair and just king. But for the crime of sorcery, there is but one sentence I can pass. When I came to this land, this kingdom was mired in chaos. But with the people's help, magic was driven from the realm. So I declare a festival to celebrate 10 years of victory over magic and the eleventh name day of Prince Arthur Pendragon.”

The crowd roared happily. At the King’s signal, a young man was led to a pyre and burned. Burned for sorcery. Burned for magic. Burned. I ran to my mother and started crying. I pulled her and said, “Let’s go. I don’t like Camelot. We should leave.”

My mother hugged me while tears were leaking from her eyes. She took hold of my hand and firmly started leading me away from the celebrations and the cheers. I did not lookup. My heart was broken. These people were even worse than those in Ealdor.

My mom led me to a room and then put me on a bed. She stayed with me until I slept.

When I woke up, my mother was not in the room. The door was slightly open. I could hear muffled voices. My mom was crying.

“Gaius, I need your help. Merlin needs a mentor. He is too powerful, and he cannot control it on his own.”

“Camelot will be dangerous for him.”

“So, will every other place. Here you can teach him. He is a hard worker. He will learn to control his magic.”

“It is too dangerous.”

“Gaius, you are my only family and hope. I need your help. We need your help. I don’t know anyone else. I can't trust anyone else with his magic.”

“Hunith, you don’t know what you are asking for.”

“I am asking my brother if he is ready to stand up for the family. I am asking my brother if he is ready to make sacrifices to keep his last two relatives alive.”

“I will teach him. You will work as my assistant. I will talk to the king. Merlin will live in your chamber. I will teach him, but I have two conditions.”

“What are your conditions?”

I moved towards the door to peek.

“You will keep him away from the town, and secondly, you will not let your maternal instinct come between my teaching. I will be the only one who shall mentor him, and it will not be easy.”

Mom inhaled deeply and said, “Agreed.”

Gaius hugged mom and softly said, “We will keep him safe.”

I liked the idea of having an uncle, but he sounded strict.

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Chapter Text

Merlin’s POV-Age 12

I have lived in Camelot for a year, or should I say I have lived in Gaius’ chamber for a year. Between my mother and Gaius, I was never left alone. The two piled my day with work.

Gaius woke me up at dawn, and the two of us would go into the forest. There I would do ten different types of exercises for the next three hours. By the time we returned home, I would be sleepy and tired again. But neither mom nor Gaius would even let me lie on the bed.

Then mom would serve breakfast. Then she and I would do the rounds and give medicine to all the sick people of Camelot. Many people fell ill daily and needed more doses of their medication.

After delivering medicine, Mom would teach me English, Maths, Writing, and Reading for the next two hours. The lessons were followed by lunch, and then I had an hour to sleep. Later, Gaius would instruct me to meditate for an hour.

After meditation, the mom would lead me to the forest outside the citadel and allow me to run or play for another two hours. We used to come back at sundown.

By then, when I would be really exhausted, Gaius used to take out the book of magic from its hiding place, and we used to practice spells for another hour or two. After that, I would sleep like a log. I did not even have the energy to wake up during the night if a fire breaks out.

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We kept this schedule for the next two years. Fortunately, Morgana decided that she would like my company and started borrowing me for an hour during the day. Morgana and Gwen became my first contact to children of my own age after two years. From age ten to age twelve, I was not allowed to ever go out, play, and interact with children. After Ealdor, even I did not want to be in that position, so, I had never complained but felt the loneliness.

Morgana started having trouble sleeping, and Gaius began to give her potions to help her sleep. Mom and I would deliver them, and thus, I met Morgana when she looked haggard and had not slept for two days. She had deep dark circles under her eyes, and she looked frail.

Before we left, I asked, “Morgana, I go to the forest to play for two hours till sundown. I think you should join me. With the physical exercises, you will be tired, and no dreams could affect your sleep.”

“Are you sure it will help?” Morgana asked with a hope-filled voice.

“I sleep like a log. My mom and Gaius keep me so busy that even an earthquake would not wake me up.”

“Then, I will try your advice.”

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From that day, Morgana and Gwen started coming to the forest. They would be accompanied by their maid and three guards. We would run in circles, play stag, climb trees, swim in the river, shoot arrows, take aim from catapults, and at Morgana’s insistence, practice sword fight.

Within those two hours, I would exhaust the two girls enough that Morgana’s sleeping pattern improved. She did not stop coming when she started feeling better and even invited me to some of her writing and reading classes. Then she demanded that I teach her meditation, and she self-invited herself into my meditation classes with Gaius.

Gaius did not like that I was spending so much time with Morgana; however, when Morgana went to the king and insisted she wanted to learn meditation from Gaius, Gaius included her in the sessions. Gwen was a package deal.

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The unforeseen and unwelcome addition to my life was Prince Arthur. He was a snob, prat, and clot pole. We never interacted until Morgana started imposing herself and Gwen into my life. With her came the bigoted Arthur Pendragon. The stupid thirteen-year-old prince thought that he was the god’s greatest boon to mankind; well, I think he is the biggest curse on humanity, especially Camelot. He stuttered that he was the youngest squire. He would be as he did not have to be a page in any noble’s house. He was the son of the king and took favoritism as his due.

Even though Arthur had just become a squire to Sir Hector; yet, he acted like a knight. Mr. righteousness would bombard into the room, Morgana, Gwen, and I would be meditating and demand Morgana’s time effectively killing our moose. He would interrupt our playtime and drag Morgana away from the peasants. He would drive away any animal that Morgana and I start to chase. Essentially, he became the most noteworthy nuisance of my life.

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One day, Morgana and I were climbing a tree when Morgana said, “Merlin, yesternight, I dreamed that you and I were climbing on this tree. Then when you were approaching the top, a snake came out and bit your leg.”

I smiled, “Morgana, you have dreams again?”

She nodded but quickly said, “They have got better. I fall asleep within minutes after the dream But I don’t like them. Some of them are very dark and make me sad.”

“If I go up and show you that no snake will bite me, will the dreams stop affecting you.”

She bit her lips and replied, “What if there is a snake?”

I beamed at her and said, “Unless you have magic and you are a seer, there will be no snake. You just worry about your best friend,” I completed the sentence with a cocky grin. 

“No magic. I never studied it, and I do worry about Arthur a lot,” she quipped back.

I hastily started moving upwards, and then when I was approaching the top, I felt a sting on my left leg. I looked down and saw a snake which was ready to strike again. I quickly used my magic and banished the snake to a jar in Gaius’ room. Then I started moving down. Morgana's gaze was fixed on my bite, and she was white with shock.

I climbed down to her level and said urgently, “Don’t say a word to anyone. I will come to you later. Now tell your guards to take me to Gaius.”

Morgana nodded and shouted for her guards. One of them picked me and started running towards the citadel. My mom was running after us, and she was crying.

I turned to her and said, “Don’t cry. Gaius will fix me in a minute.”

She gave me a hollow smile.

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I woke up two days later. Gaius was looking worried, mom’s eyes were red with worry, and Morgana looked sleep-deprived.

I mockingly asked, “Who died? Why are you so tense. Mom, stop crying. Morgana, get into the bed and sleep with me.”

Mom smiled at me while Morgana, forgetting all protocol, jumped into the bed, and hugged me. She was asleep within minutes. Gaius scolded, “You know how scared I was when I saw the snake in my leech pond.”

I rolled my eyes and said, “You always tell us that saving a person from poison is easier if you have an idea about the snake and child’s play if you have the snake itself.”

Mother nodded, “Yes. It took Gaius ten minutes to administer the anti-poison, but you took your time.”

I grinned at her, “I was exhausted and took this opportunity to catch up with my beauty sleep.”

Mom and Gaius started laughing while I dozed off.

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Two days later, I got the chance to be alone with Morgana. A plague was spreading through the lower town, so both Gaius and mother would be indefinitely occupied. Gwen was assisting her father while Elyan, her brother, was sick.

I dragged Morgana to my room and locked it with my magic.

“Morgana, how many times have your dreams come true,” I asked hesitatingly.

“Always. Until someone takes an action that changes the path of the future, my dream comes true. So, that day, if Gwen or I would have insisted that you don’t climb the tree, then the dream would have not fulfilled. As you said there was no danger, I let you go, and you were bitten.”

I looked at Morgana and said, “Do you know that you are a seer, a person who can see the future? You can do magic.”

“I am not a seer. I don’t have magic. I never learned magic.”

“Magic does not need to be learned. Ask my mother, I was two when I started using magic.”

“You have magic.”

I nodded nervously. I was going everything that Gaius and mom had told me. I was taking a leap of faith in Morgana.

She looked white and stood there, uncertain of what to do next. She was pondering over what I had told her.. I waited anxiously without pushing her. At last, she said, “I will keep your secret. I will die but never betray you. Thank you for sharing it with me. As you are not evil, so, I am not evil too. Uther is wrong.”

I hugged her and conspiringly, “You can join my magical lessons with Gaius too, but you will have to keep Gwen away. We can’t share this secret with anyone else.”

She nodded and said, “Maybe if I asked Uther, he would allow me to study potions from Gaius. What time?”

“Two hours after sunset.”

“Let’s convince Gaius and the Uther,” she said in a surer tone.

That night when Gaius and mom returned, they were tired. Morgana joined us. She had slipped out of her room as soon as her caretaker went to sleep. Morgana looked at me with uncertainty, and I smiled at her assuringly, then I softly said, “Gaius, Morgana is a seer. Her visions are true. Can she join our magic lessons?”

Mom was about to have a heart attack, and she barked, “Merlin!”

Gaius raised his eye up to signify his disappointment and then gave me a deathly glare.

Morgana piped in, “I will be a good pupil. Gaius, please, I need to learn magic. I need to know I am not evil. Merlin says you show him how magic can be used for the good. I want to learn too. Please.”

Mom was the first one to hug Morgana, and soothingly said, “Morgana, you and Merlin are not evil. You are a witch and seer as Merlin is a warlock. How can you be evil when you have the power to help others. Evil people have evil hearts. You are a kind and gentle soul. You can never be evil. We will help you.”

Gaius did not say anything, but when Morgana stared at him, he said, “I knew your nightmares were visions but did not want to draw Uther’s attention to them. You know he will never allow you time to learn magic.”

Morgana grinned, “But I want to learn potions from you. I can’t sleep, and the more tired I am, the better I sleep. I want to understand how you make my potions. I find the task soothing and am sure that after another two hours of work with you in the night, I will be able to sleep better.”

Gaius huffed, “If you cant convince Uther, you can come.”

Morgana got up and hugged him, and then she came around and hugged me.

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Chapter Text

I was getting tired of the monthly burning. Mother and I never went out to support such savagery. We had better things to do, but Morgana was forced by the king to attend. She had to witness people like her being killed every month. It was taking its toll on her, and she was losing weight in the last few years.

Morgana and I studied magic religiously. We were mostly inseparable. Gwen had inferred the secret but had kept it a secret for a year before she asked us about it. We asked her to promise to not reveal it to anyone else, and she agreed. Thus, we became a trio. Three people bound by a secret that will get all of us killed.

At Gaius’ insistence, Morgana went to her nursemaid and told her about Morgana’s magic. Then she threatened the maid. If the maid ever went to Uther and against Morgana’s wishes, Morgana would claim that the maid had put a spell on her and her friends. Uther would believe a lady over the maid, and then the maid would lose her life. Thus, unwittingly, the maid became a co-conspirator. She gave Morgana more space and did not stop her from anything as long as Uther was kept in the dark, and Morgana’s regular studies, and training in courtly arts was not affected.

Many did not approve of my presence at Morgana’s side. Arthur was the biggest hindrance to our bond. He always had a way to get under my skin, and then we would start an impromptu shouting or wrestling match. Arthur would win most of them due to his physique, but I gave as good as I got. He never left such a game without either a blue eye, a hurting rib or, the worst, rubbing his sensitive parts, which were accidentally yet not so unintentionally been kicked by me. He called me a bumbling fool with two left legs and thus could never complain when I said that I did not mean to hit him in any of his sensitive parts. On the days when I did not knock Arthur because he took hold of my legs and hands and kept them firmly in place, I would use a bit of my magic. So, Arthur spent those days humiliating himself. His pants would fall down when he was passing a beautiful lady, he would release air when he was sitting with knights, he would drop his sword on the foot of other knights, he would fall down and take a lady along with him and so on. One must teach the prat some humbleness, or his overgrown head would burst.

I noticed that in the two years since he started paying attention to me, Arthur and I never spent a single day without fighting. We never talk but often shout at each other. We never play with each other but are ready to show up to the other one. Yet, when someone else picks on either Arthur or me, the other one is always there to protect.

One of the guards thought it would be funny if he dragged me to the stocks for breaking a precious jar. It was not my fault that the pot was on the wrong side of the road when I was trying to escape Arthur and his group of hooligans, also known as the mighty squires of Camelot. When the guard was leading me, Arthur shouted, “Where are you taking Merlin?”

“Sire, he broke the trader's expensive pottery, and as he cannot pay, he will spend the night in the stock.”

Arthur calmly said, “Show me the jar?”

After looking at the broken pot, hearing my story as well as the traders, Arthur said, “Merlin is as much at fault as the trader so both of them should spend the night in the stocks or neither of them. The trader put the jar on the road and did not properly secure it. If the trader wishes to pursue the claim, he will spend the night in the stocks with Merlin.”

The trader turned red and replied with his tongue between his teeth, “My lord, I do not want to pursue the case.”

Thus Arthur saved me from the stock. What did I do in return?

I saved his life from three magic users who thought that I would let anyone else take the credit of killing my arch enemy.

I pulled Arthur out of the way of a knife thrown by Mary Collins once her plan to make all the court sleep was destroyed. The King wanted to give me a position in the royal household, but I refused on the ground that I was Gaius’ assistant and was not looking for a placement.

Next, I saved Arthur from dying by over drinking. One sorcerer thought that it would be interesting to gift Arthur with an enchanted glass that would never empty and never leave the lips of a person once they begin to drink from it. Arthur being the idiot he was, started to drink and then could not stop. His foolish squire friends were encouraging him while not realizing that Arthur was red and flushing, the liquid was leaking from his mouth, and he was making a slight choking sound. Luckily, I was there to save the day. I pulled the glass out of his hand and then destroyed it but throwing it into the nearest fire. Arthur did not thank me verbally or acknowledge my help, but I received a very thick winter cloak

The third time I saved his life, he had been poisoned during a tournament for the squires. Gaius, mom, Morgana, Gwen, and I were confused. Where did the snake come from? Where did the snake go? When nothing seemed to work, I realized that maybe it was a magical construct, and upon further digging, I found that a young squire, Valient, had a shield with snakes on it. I read through my magical book, and after working for the entire night, I was able to master the inanimate to animate transfiguration. I was able to get the snakes to move and then cut the head of one of those snakes. Gaius agreed with my hypothesis, and thus, he prepared the antivenom for Arthur. Arthur regained consciousness after three days.

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“Morgana, Gwen, I don’t think the status quo is ideal. In the last six months, I have thwarted three attempts on Arthur’s life. He may be the biggest prat in this world, but only I have the right to kill him. If Uther continues his war, these attempts will keep increasing. The people who lost their parents to Uther’s war are coming of age and want revenge for their parents. If Uther is successful in killing them, their children will come back with a vendetta.”

Gwen frowned, “That and the monthly killing, it is becoming a torture to watch. I always think that next time it will be us. I hate it here.”

Morgana nodded, “Me too. I want these killings to stop. I want people to stop threatening Arthur and me. We did nothing.”

I softly said, “No one will do anything if we don’t act. The people have no leadership. They think of amateur plans and then did while exercising them. They are giving magical people a bad reputation and strengthening the idea that magic is evil.”

Gwen snorted, “What can we do? Morgana is the only lady while you and I are peasant children.”

I said, “I was thinking of unified resistance. I would take the leadership of those who are against Camelot and give their hatred a meaningful direction. You and Morgana can be my eyes and ears inside the castle.”

Morgana frowned, “You will be killed.”

I shook my head, “Not if the three of us plan and work carefully. We can stop the entire antimagic campaign by being smart. I don’t want to kill anyone but a little pain now, and a promise for ten times worse pain in the future would kill the backbone of even the staunchest antimagic knights and lords.”

Gwen said, “Then he would hire more ruthless ones.”

Morgana huffed, “We would need to stop his access to funds. Stop all the money that is getting to Camelot from the North, and Uther will be hard-pressed to feed his people. He will not have money to hire mercenaries.”   

I asked, “Why the north?”

She smirked, “Because there he has his most loyal lords and they have the wealthiest fiefs. He can raise two years of taxes from any fief in the north. Stop his access to the funds from the north, and he is just an average King in Albion.”

Gwen asked, “Who else would join us?”

I said, “I will start looking for magical and non-magical people who are not happy with Uther’s rule. I will select those who are ready to accept our leadership.”

Morgana added, “The more people who are ready to present a unified image, the quicker we can force Uther to stop his campaign.”

Then I confirmed, “So, we are doing this, right?”

Morgana confidently said, “Yes.”

Gwen meekly joined in, “Yes.”

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For the next fortnight, we planned. We planned contingencies. What if? What would Uther do if? What would the knight's code require if? What type of punishment would be suitable for the knights who harass a magical user? What if they lead a magic-user to his or her death?

We thought about different scenarios and tried to find answers. We learned more spells and curses.

Morgana and Gwen prepared for my departure. Morgana gave me enough money to buy a good steed and to cloth my self in a fashion that I looked like a rebel leader, but no one could see my face until I was ready to expose myself. Gwen worked with her father to make me armor and sword.

A fortnight later, I told my mother and Gaius that I would be leaving for a quest that Morgana expects me to pass if I was to have a happier future. Morgana readily chipped in and made it sound like a life and death decision. Gaius and mom were so used to Morgana’s visions that they did not even hesitate. They gave me permission. Gaius and mom gave me money for an extended stay away from home.

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As per plan and Gaius’ instruction, the first thing I need to do is get a familiar bird that can take my messages home and bring their notes back. The critical criteria for making magical familiar was that a person needs to call for it and bond with it. One cannot buy a bird in the market and make it a familiar.

Over the next week, I tried to call different birds, but none of them were interested. I kept moving to the last known location for a Druid camp. The druids at the site will be my first audience with whom I will share my plan and see if there are any who want to join me. They might even spread out the word for me, and soon, others will come.

It took me two weeks to track down the campsite. The druids were well hidden. I met their leader, Iseldir.

“Emrys, we did not expect you for a few years.”

“Sorry, I am Merlin. I am not Emrys.”

“Merlin, then I’ll call you Merlin, what brings you here?”

“I and a few others plan to start a unified resistance against Uther’s magical marginalization and persecution. I was wondering if you and the other Druids would like to help in this cause.”

“What would this unified resistance do?”

“We will focus the anger where it is due. At the king and the knights. In the last few months alone, I thwarted three assassination plans against Arthur. Arthur may be a jerk, but he is young and inexperienced, who have never done anything against magic. By killing young and innocent people, we are giving magic an evil reputation. So, the three purposes are first to ensure that the bystanders are not caught in this fight, second to do everything to make sure that when Uther and his knights cross a magic-use, they nod and accept him as a human with equal rights. The third is to protect the dwindling magical population. Every so often, one or another magic-user individually attacks Camelot and is killed. We are not hurting Uther but ourselves. We want to protect these lone grievers and allow them to use their magic in a meaningful manner that will generate a result for the entire magical population. Finally, we want to see the end of all these burnings but simultaneously make the country a more welcoming place for the society of magic users.”

Iseldir nodded, “Very well thought out. How are you going to achieve this?”

I continued, “There are many ways we can go about it. I gather you want to know whether my ways will be peaceful?”

“Druids are peace-loving people who have been caught in this crossfire. Yes, I would prefer a peaceful solution.”

“We will intend for a peaceful solution, but not everything is controlled. The knights will take out swords, some of our men will fall, some of the knights will die, some people will be emotionally and mentally tortured, some people’s livelihood will be destroyed, some people will get stampeded upon. Death and destruction are the only constants in this life; all the rest is a mirage.”

“True, but my question was about the leadership’s intention. Are you going for war, or are you going for peaceful resistance which might sometime diverge from its core aim of getting a peaceful ending.”

“Is stealing peaceful? Is affecting someone’s mind peaceful? Is looking a people you work with die in a war or captive situation, peaceful? I am not sure about your definition of peaceful. I just know that protecting my family and those under my charge will take dominance over half-formed notions of peace. In the end, if you are so peaceful that the world would step on you and move forward, then you will not survive to see the benefit of your peaceful living.”

“Indeed. You are wise beyond your years, my lord.”

I shook my head, “I am sorry, but I am not a lord. I am the son of a peasant and a physician’s apprentice.”

“Yes. I will help you. While my people and I might not join you in the wars and skirmishes, we will be with you every step of the way. I will send word for those who are looking at ways to take revenge from the king and those who are not happy with the status quo. My people and I will be your eyes and ears in this part of Camelot.”

“Thank you, Iseldir. I appreciate the help.”

“However, I require something from you first. A small service.”

“What is it? If I can assist you with anything, I would.”

“You are young, and we never dreamed of getting this chance to teach the great Emrys. We ask that you spend the next three months with us. During this time, you will learn about the Druid way of life. You will also learn from our scholars and leaders. Finally, you can meet those who want to join you, and I will assist you in sifting those who are joining you and help you judge whether they will even try the peaceful approach.”

The benefits were more, and I did not have any immediate plans, so joining the druid base for a few months would give me a secure place to lay low while I recruit.

I smiled at Iseldir and said, “I will be honored if you teach me. Although I don’t know about this Emrys, you keep referring to me about.”

“All in good time, Merlin. Now enjoy, and interact with the people on the campsite. I will tell you about Emrys when the time is right. I will also send word to the others of your coming.”

“Thank you, Iseldir,” I said as I left the tent.

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