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Language:
English
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Published:
2019-08-08
Words:
413
Chapters:
1/1
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2
Kudos:
66
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A Negotiator is Born

Summary:

Blankets are a precious commodity. So when they are so rudely taken, one must of course do what they can to get them back.

AKA: Anakin and Obi-Wan have silly arguments over who stole the blankets.

Notes:

Still have no idea what I'm doing, but this made me laugh and I can only hope you also find it entertaining. :)

Work Text:

“Master, you’re stealing all the blankets!” Anakin whined piteously.

“What I am doing is not stealing, Padawan mine. It’s self preservation.”

“No.” Obi-Wan can practically hear it in Anakin’s voice as he gears up for an argument. “No, I’m pretty sure this is the definition of stealing, Master. You are taking something without permission for your own selfish uses. In this case the blankets.”

“Anakin.” Obi-Wan begins with longsuffering in his voice.

Sounding smug Anakin answers, “Obi-Wan.”

“Whose bed are we in?”

Confused at what direction the discussion is going in his Padawan responds, “Yours? But only because my mattress caught fire from my Mechanics IV class project and it hasn’t been replaced yet!”

“Whose bed are we in?” Obi-Wan patiently asks again.

“Yours.” Is the surly reply.

“Yes, this is my bed, with my blankets. So, my very young Padawan, can I really steal that which is already mine?”

Anakin is silent for a few moments as he tries to come up with a counter argument, and once he has it blurts out, “Jedi don’t have possessions, Obi-Wan. Therefore these aren’t your blankets; therefore I can’t steal your blankets because technically you don’t have blankets. And this attachment you have to these blankets is most alarming, Master.” He finishes with an atrocious attempt at Obi-Wan’s Coruscant accent.

Biting back a groan Obi-Wan turns over to face Anakin’s smirking expression. “In that case, your own argument shows a most extreme attachment to objects that bring transient comfort. Going so far as to fight with your elder to try and regain that possession. As your instructor in the ways of the Jedi, I am duty bound to remedy this oversight in your education.” With that declaration, Obi-Wan bundles himself even more firmly in the blankets he had slowly pried away from Anakin overnight.

Seeing where he went wrong in his argument and having it so neatly turned against him Anakin looks shell-shocked before declaring. “To honor my education that my elder instructor taught me.” He begins, emphasizing elder to a ridiculous degree Obi-Wan thought, “When diplomatic and pacifying argumentation does not produce the desired result, one must resort to aggressive negotiations.”

Feeling a tickling in the Force as to where this was headed, Obi-Wan tried to voice his objection. But too late, for he was only able to let out a startled yelp as his Padawan tackled him and his many blankets off the bed where they both struggled to declare a martial victory.