Work Text:
Open scene into a second of darkness, then to a couple of purple-duvet-covered toes.
A warm, husky chuckle emits off camera then the view clumsily turns 180 degrees, showing a mop of messy curls on a brightly sheepish, grinning face and shirtless. His head’s pressing against a fluffy pillow, probably propped against the connecting bedpost.
“Hiiiii,” he chuckles again before clearing his throat.
Then he yawns and rubs his left eye, places the camera on his chest so that he can rub his right eye with his right hand.
“Sorry,” he says right after closing his mouth from his previous big breather, “I might’ve slept late watching season four of Pretty Little Liars on Netflix.” By the end of his statement, he’s smiling again, a tad bit cheekily.
“Anywho,” he sighs, voice soft, pushing himself up more so he’s now sitting with his back pressing against his bedpost and holding the camera with his dominant hand.
“I thought I’d vlog today because today is a momentous occasion,” he nods with an even bigger smile from before.
He blinks, his eyes puffy but his whole face happy, and for a split second glances to his left then looks back into the lens.
“We’re gonna get a puppy!” he smiles so much his eyes close. He inhales deeply again as if he’s about to yawn again but instead breaks out into singing, “I’m so excited, I just can’t hide it! I—“ he continues the rhythm with mumbled lyrics and not even five seconds later, his singing just fades into laughter.
Just then, someone grumbles off camera and a hand slaps his chest then a muffled, “Shut up ‘arry, ‘m tryna sleep you dung beetle.”
“Heyyyy,” the curly headed wrinkles his face, looking to his left and gives a slap back.
“Who are you calling a dung beetle? Huh?” He sounds like he talking to a baby. And he’s got an amused smile on his face as he chuckles and looks back into the camera.
“Anyways—“ he sighs, “As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, yeah,” he purses his lips, “So we’re getting a dog today, finally,” he rolls his eyes with another sigh.
He gets another slap but this time it’s on his head.
“Who’re you calling rude, ya big mouthed troll?”
Harry laughs.
“How’s this for being rude, eh?” A set of generally small hands cover Harry’s face, almost completely.
Harry just giggles some more, still able to hold the camera properly with his eyes shut.
“Louis your hands taste like fart!” Harry mumbles under fingers.
Louis laughs behind the camera. The bed squeaks slightly as they move about.
“How do you know how fart tastes like?” He chuckles, cupping Harry’s cheeks together before pulling himself in for a bite on his earlobe with a cheeky laugh.
Harry leans his head to his left, giggling, “Ey!” But he doesn’t pull away.
“Niall farted on my face one time,” he replies easily with a faint smile then he chuckles.
Louis lets out a burst of laughter, his face is now in frame, right next to Harry’s, which is relatively smaller in comparison. He is also without a shirt.
“On your face?” He glances at Harry.
Harry’s nose crinkles, “In, on, in front of,” he shrugs.
Louis’ laugh fades then he sighs, resting his head on Harry’s broad shoulder.
“Why are you vlogging so early in the morning?” His right eye wrinkles in distaste, glancing to his right for a second, “It’s like… not even nine in the morning yet.” Louis sighs again and presses his face against the crook of Harry’s neck, “Kill me,” he groans.
Harry smiles softly, resting his head on top of Louis. “I can’t kill you now, the dog lady knows you, not me,” he says sweetly, chuckling when he peaks to see Louis pulling one of his many silly faces.
“Wow,” Louis says, as if dumbfounded.
“Yeah,” Harry smiles at him then at the camera.
“I was just filling them in on today’s big event,” he raises his brows excitedly with an excited smile to match.
“We’re gonna get ready now!” He smiles from ear to ear and his eyes crinkle. He holds this face for a few seconds. Louis holds his head up and takes a look, laughing.
---
“We’re all handsome now!” Harry says loud and chirpy, the top half of his face is covered by his vlogging camera facing their mirrored bathroom counter. “Well,” he zooms out. Louis is beside him, leaning forward as he combs his quiff with a serious expression, “Almost.”
“Wake up the whole apartment, why don’t you,” Louis replies late but with the exact amount of sarcasm he would include otherwise.
Harry just chuckles and zooms in on Louis’ reflection.
“Look at that expert precision of assembling the puh-fect quiff,” Harry mocks some posh, deep narrator.
“99… and 100,” Louis combs through his hair one more time before leaning back and giving Harry a small smile. He turns around, “How’s the back look?”
Harry centers Louis in frame, wearing a grey tee shirt, probably from Top Man, and then pans down to reveal a perky bum in tight navy blue jeans.
“Looks good, milk dud!” Harry shows his thumb’s up in camera as Louis turns around to face him, pressing his own thumb to Harry’s.
He smiles widely at the camera and approaches the lens extremely close that it’s blurry, “Grrreat!” Louis pulls back and it takes the camera a second to focus again.
Then he looks confused. “What’s a milk dud?” He furrows his brows.
“It’s like, a chocolate treat from America,” Harry answers behind the camera.
Louis blinks and doesn’t seem convinced.
“Then why’s it called milk dud and not chocolate dud?”
“I dunno,” Harry chuckles, and could’ve shrugged behind the camera, “I’m not American.”
Louis frowns softly as he shrugs. “Now let’s go get brrreakfast cause I’m starving!” He bumps his forehead to the camera lens.
---
Louis pulls his head back and they’re not in their bathroom anymore.
“And now we’ve got brrreakfast!” He grins, sat on one of the many McDonald’s booths.
Harry zooms out of the medium close up shot to reveal empty McDonald’s wrappers.
Louis chuckles as he realizes what he had just said, “Or more like, we had breakfast,” he shrugs and takes a sip of his orange juice, of which he grabs out of frame.
Harry laughs softly, “Oh—earlier guys, when we were in queue for the food,” he chuckles as Louis’s face changes from nonchalant to something in between the lines of ‘Are you seriously serious?’
“I can’t not tell them now, Lou, or else they’ll call me a tease,” Harry pleads a silly case.
Louis sighs and rolls his eyes and continues to sip on.
The camera turns to Harry’s face.
“So we were in the queue right? And we were behind this really really old looking nan,” Harry’s eyes glances to the right for a moment.
“And we were like, one or two up before being served. Anyway so like, this old lady had her hands full and drops her purse,” he blinks at the camera, brows rising. “And the being the gentle gentleman this one is,” he turns the camera back to Louis who is scrolling through his phone and just gives the camera a measly quick smile.
Harry chuckles then turns the camera round again, “—goes in to get the nan’s purse at the same time as her and he just like, brushes against her backside slightly then—“ he looks shocked and half amused at the same time.
He gasps and furrows his brows together, “My, what do you think you’re doing young man?” He attempts to sound like an old raspy woman.
His impression makes Louis laugh, which makes Harry laugh too.
“And we almost got kicked out of the queue but thankfully there were people behind us who vouched for Louis’ attempt of a Good Samaritan act,” Harry chuckles.
Then he turns the camera back to Louis.
“Will you ever try to help old ladies again, Louis?” he asks.
Louis looks up from his phone, nodding, “Of course,” he shrugs, “Just because I happened to have come across an ungrateful old hag doesn’t mean they’re all gonna be ungrateful old hags,” he leans back and slips his phones back into his front pocket.
Harry snickers softly, “Spoken like a true Tomlinson.”
Louis nods once at the camera before winking and drumming the tips of his fingers on the table. “You all done, babe?” he starts putting all the rubbish on the brown tray and glances up at Harry.
“Yes, I’m all full,” he replies then suddenly burps.
“—Excuse me,” he says, surprised with a laugh as he slides out of the booth.
Louis’ already up with the tray and walks to the nearest rubbish bin when Harry spots the old nan they encountered early.
“Lou, look it’s her,” he whispers and centers her on camera.
“Huh?” Louis turns around and they just so happen to catch eye to eye.
She flips him off.
Harry’s burst of laughter is abruptly cut.
---
The camera blinks open in front of a black Labrador pup in a glass display and Harry cooes, “He’s so cute.”
“How do you know it’s a he?” Louis asks with a chuckle, approaching the glass case in front of Harry. He taps on the glass, “Hiya puppy pup,” he waves.
Harry walks closer, turning to his right and catches Louis at angle where he can see his face and the puppy in the display getting up on all fours and approaching Louis.
At this point Louis crutches down and makes a silly face at the puppy to get its attention, “Wanna come home with us?” he cooed as if he was talking to a child.
Harry zooms in on this and chuckles when Louis pulls another funny face.
“Are you zoomed in on my face right now?” Louis asks.
---
“Harry, come quick!”
It’s Harry’s shoes all blurry then focused a second later.
“Wait up!” Harry yells back and rises the camera in front of him as he jogs toward Louis in a long hall.
He’s chatting with some lady, who’s probably the dog lady.
Louis turns around with his hand out with a black puff thing on his palm, “Look, H. They have tarantulas too!” He’s smiling.
“A wha—“ Harry screams like a girl and almost drops the camera.
Now all that’s visible is Harry’s feet scurrying away while Louis’ goes after him.
“Just give it a little pet, H. Come on, it won’t bite.”
Harry makes a scared noise, “No, I don’t want to!”
“Harry, it’s nice.”
“No it’s not nice!”
“I’m trying to help you out here and get you over your phobia.”
The dog lady chuckles in the background.
“Louis don’t shove it in my face!”
Louis chuckles mischievously.
“Nng…. There! There I touched it!” Harry’s feet scurries off even further then he holds up the camera properly again and catches Louis petting the black tarantula before putting it back into its glass cage. And the dog lady is in frame as well, guiding Louis.
Harry slowly walks toward him, “Do you have like a seal proof lock on it or summat?”
She chuckles, nodding, “We do.”
“Oh okay, good,” Harry sighs in relief.
“See? You’re not afraid of ‘em anymore!” Louis grins at Harry.
Harry lamely throws a punch at him, “You’re such a dick.”
---
“It’s much later now,” Harry says into the camera, sunk against a black comfy looking couch with some wisps of long brown hair on his shoulder. He glances that direction and smiles a little before looking back into the lens.
“Uh, right! So it’s much later now. We’ve just had dinner,” he glances up.
“Are you vlogging Mr. Styles?” someone that’s not Louis says.
“—Courtesy of Mr. Payne,” Harry chuckles and turns the camera, which catches a glimpse of Louis lounging beside him on his phone, to show a six footer male with a medium chunky but hunky with a charming smile.
“Hello there!” He greets the camera with a little wave. “Were you just telling them about dinner?”
“Was getting there, did you want to tell them?” Harry steadies the camera, framing Mr. Payne nicely.
“Alright,” he says, “So these two,” he points to Harry and Louis’ direction, “Call me up at about half past 12, saying they want to come round for lunch because a few days ago I told you guys—well, I told H and Lou anyway,” he chuckles.
“But I was out!” his think brows rise. “I was out with—“
As if on que, another boyish body passes.
“Liam, where are my lucky pants? I have to get ready for tonight’s game!”
“This one,” Mr. Payne chuckles, grabbing the boy by the arm.
“Oh sorry,” it seems he’d only realize it too late, “Were you guys filming?”
“A vlog,” Mr. Payne says.
“Aaah,” the boy replies before bending down to show his face. He smiles a tiny smile and waves, “Hi, I’m Niall and I’m Irish,” he waves faster and grins.
Mr. Payne laughs and pulls the lad against him, wrapping his arms around him, making Niall the Irish giggle.
“Eeew, gaaaay,” Louis comments and Harry quickly pans to him, smirking at Harry’s direction.
“Says the one who ate my sausage this morning,” Harry quips cheekily.
“—Oh, the ones I gave you the other day, Harry?” Liam asks, not getting the innuendo fast enough.
Niall laughs and so does Louis and Harry.
“What?” Liam's face scrunches together. It usually takes him a while to process jokes, especially sexual ones because he's just so darn innocent.
Niall snorts.
“Anyway, what were we talking about Li? About dinner?” Harry focuses on Liam again.
“It’s over there,” Liam points at a general direction before letting Niall free and looking at Harry then back at the camera. “Right! So I was out with Niall when they rung me and we--" he gestures to him and the blonde, "--wouldn’t be back till a few hours." Liam pauses a moment, "Oh alright then, we’ll wait when you get back," Liam speaks low and slow, his best impression of Harry, by far.
The rest giggle except for Harry.
He stares at Liam for moment then chuckles along.
“But what he didn’t tell me was they were literally waiting for us out at my doorstep!” Liam laughs. “Like literally,” he points to the direction of his front door. “When I pulled up, I saw these two looking like bums on my steps and the first thing they tell me is that Louis needs to take a piss pronto.”
Harry’s laugh progresses as Liam tells the story. “Yup,” he agrees, “True story. This one’s got a small bladder,” he pats Louis on the thigh.
Louis sighs, “Don’t do that, it makes me feel like I have to wee again,” he whines.
Liam and Harry laugh.
Louis’ got a tiny smile on the corner of his lips.
“You only had like, half a cup of water during dinner though,” Liam sits beside Louis so that Harry wouldn’t have to move the camera too much.
Louis shrugs and puts his phone on his lap, “I had like one of ‘em gallon slurpees at 7-Eleven after we visited the Pound.”
“Oh, oh yeah!” Liam sits up and turns toward them, ”How’d that go?” Everyone knows about Louis and Harry trying to conceive with a cute bundle of fur.
Louis sighs again, “A bust,” he pouts at Liam then at Harry. “They wouldn’t let us take one home because we didn’t have a proof of residence with us—like what the hell, we’re trying to get a puppy not a new mobile plan.”
Harry chuckles, “They’re just trying to do their job. They said we could go back tomorrow. Hopefully they still have the one that I want.”
“What breed is it?” Liam asks, intrigued, resembling of a puppy himself.
Louis looks at Harry confused, “You do?” he chuckles, “You were whining about how cute they all were.”
“Well…I’ve had some time to think!”
Louis raises an eyebrow at him, “Alright, so which one are you going for?”
“Lucky,” Harry replies and it sounds like he’s smiling.
“The lab?” Louis sits up a bit.
“Wait isn’t Lucky the poodle?” Harry chuckles.
“No, Prince is the poodle,” Louis snorts.
"You're an idiot,” Louis chuckles as he pulls his phone up and goes through his gallery to show their friend the puppies they had in mind. “This one’s name is Lucky… and this one’s Pablo and this one’s Prince.”
“Pablo’s a girl,” Harry chuckles, “I find that really funny.”
“They’re all really cute, I dunno which one I’d go for either,” Liam shakes his head softly.
“Wait, let me see them again?” Harry laughs nervously.
“—Liam! I can’t find me lucky pants!” Niall shouts from afar.
Louis and Harry giggle as Liam get up to Niall’s rescue.
Harry turns the camera to face him and Louis, “Alrighty guys, I think we’re just gonna watch a movie now then head home and call it a night,” he nods. “Hopefully tomorrow we can get our puppy,” Harry purses his lips.
“You don’t even know which one you want yet,” Louis snorts.
---
“Won’t we get flagged for this? I don’t think we can show my nipple like this,” Harry says worriedly.
Louis chuckles behind the camera and just continues to zoom in on Harry’s pert nipple. “Don’t worry about it, it’s not like I’m licking it or anything.”
Harry gasps audibly and laughs, “I think I have to cut that part out.”
“Whatever, just make sure you keep this bit in—guys look, Harry’s got this really—wait where is it?” He chuckles, purposely running his fingers over Harry’s pink nub before finding the long strand of body hair right around Harry’s nipple.
“Here!” He gives it a light tug that makes Harry flinch.
“Ow!” Harry whines, “Be gentle!”
“Sorry,” Louis chuckles, “See? It’s really long,” he laughs softly. “And Harry’s not very hairy so this is quite odd.”
“Not hairy Harry,” Harry chuckles lightly.
Louis laughs too, “You’re lame.” He starts zooming out.
Harry puts his shirt back on and they’re in their bathroom.
“Okay can you get lost for a little while, I need space to get ready for bed,” Harry nods as he starts gathering his curls up into a small pony tail.
“Okay,” Louis replies before turning around and makes his way to their bedroom, humming softly.
“Let’s chill in bed while waiting for not hairy Harry guys,” Louis sighs before suddenly flopping over on the bed, making the camera really shaky. He laughs and stabilizes it, facing it now. “Sorry, if that just made you really dizzy. It’s a habit of mine to jump on comfy surfaces.”
“Ever since I was a child actually,” Louis sighs, nodding softly as if it’s a serious matter. He looks into the lens and chuckles, “Do you guys have any unbreakable habits that’s been stuck ever since you can remember?” he raises his brow. “Tell us in the comments below,” he gestures down with his free hand, “And while you’re at it, give this video a thumb’s up,” he flashes a quick smile.
“You’re welcome, Harry!”
“What?” Harry asks from the bathroom.
“Nothing!” Louis chuckles.
“Anyway, so Harry probably hasn’t told you guys this yet and if he has, he can just cut this part out but the reason why he or we—“ he shrugs, “Have done a vlog video in a while is because a lot’s just happened recently. Uhm, we’ve just recently moved in together and we’re still like, sorting out our stuff,” he chuckles. “Believe it or not,” he shrugs, “And I’ve been doing stuff and Harry’s been doing stuff and my mum’s just recently give birth to another set of twins, Jesus Christ,” he chuckles, shaking his head.
“Which reminds me, we’re gonna have to give them a visit before flying over to America for Vidcon,” Louis nods with his brows knit together.
“So yeah, the reason for why we haven’t put up any vlogs recently is because we’ve been busy. Kinda lame but yeah, that’s life,” he shrugs.
“—I’m ready!” Harry flops on the bed, causing the bed to shake again.
“Ready for what?” Louis laughs, adjusting the camera so they’re both in the frame.
“For some lovin’ you cutie pootie poo,” Harry cooes and cups Louis’ cheeks, kissing him on his now crinkled face. He still has his tiny pony tail on.
“Were you telling them about our puppy dilemma?” Harry shifts slightly and looks at the camera.
“No I wasn’t but I am now, or you tell them, you’re the cause of the dilemma anyway,” Louis chuckles.
Harry makes an upset face for a second then sighs, “So basically I can’t decide because they’re all too cute and I’d love to take them all home but Louis says it’s not ideal to get more than one because we won’t know what it’ll be like with a puppy so we shouldn’t get puppies—like plural which,” Harry shrugs, “Makes sense… but they’re all so freakin’ cute! I can’t help it!”
Louis chuckles, “They are pretty cute. I was surprised to see so many puppies at the pound.”
“Me too,” Harry agrees, “Or maybe it’s just our local one.”
“Perhaps,” Louis nods once.
“So uh yeah! We were hoping you could help us out!” Harry smiles. “Lou, where’s your handy dandy phone?”
“Uh—right here—“ Louis reaches up to grab his phone on his bedside table.
“So I was thinking we could have like a little poll on the comments below and decide that way! Get you guys involved and stuff,” Harry grins.
“Alright, so this is the picture we took of Lucky, he’s a black lab. He was actually like, just arrived a few days ago,” Louis points to the picture on his phone. “And this one’s Prince, a brown poodle. He’s really cute.”
Harry swipes to the final picture of a light pug puppy, “And this is Pablo,” he chuckles.
“You still think that’s funny?” Louis laughs along.
“You don’t?” Harry laughs even more.
“Goodness sake,” Louis sighs, still smiling as he closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose.
“So yeah! Just like, type in the comments below which puppy we should take home and the puppy with the most votes gets to come chill out with us for life,” Harry nods, smiling and throws a thumb’s up.
“We might do a follow up tomorrow but who knows what’ll happen?” Harry’s brows rise as he shrugs.
“If anything, Harry’s just going to be too preoccupied with the puppy to do anything else,” Louis chuckles.
“Yeaaah… probably,” Harry smiles sheepishly.
Louis looks at him as if he’s the weirdest person he’s laid eyes on then laughs softly, his eyes all lovely at Harry.
“We’re gonna go to sleep now, nanight!” He waves and Louis follows, waving his hand too. They fade to black.
---
Harry sighs heavily, eyes closed and his mouth slightly frowning. The camera’s very close to his face.
“We… we have to catch up to the chickens,” His mumbles, “They’re gonna… they’re bowling without us.”
Louis snickers quietly, “What? Babe, what?”
“Louis, Louis.”
“Yeah, baby boy?”
“We forgot to buy grass for Niall for his laundry.”
“What?” Louis chuckles, “Niall needs grass of laundry?”
“Mhm…” Harry sighs, his brows knitting together, “He’s a cow.”
Louis laughs even more but tries his best to keep quiet.
“Sweet dreams, Harry,” he strokes Harry’s face.
The scene fades to the end slot, giving the viewer the option to watch the previous vlog which was their outing at the zoo; Niall posing with a monkey with their tongues out.