Archive of Our Own

Seokjin wakes up in Namjoon's bed for the second time in a week, and thinks, Okay, something isn't right here.

He knows he went to sleep in his own bed. Which is probably the most troubling part of this mystery. Sleeping in someone else's bed itself isn't an uncommon occurrence in their dorm — they have all, at one point or another, woken up with all 178 centimeters of Jeon Jungkook snuggled up next to them. But, as a rule, bed sharing and stealing is the maknae line's past time, and not something Seokjin has ever really seen a need for.

And yet here he is. Drowsy and disoriented and definitely staring at Namjoon's sleep-softened face.

Seokjin rolls over until he's blinking up at the ceiling and frowns. Rubs his eyes, and frowns some more.

The first time this happened, three days ago, Namjoon was actually the one to wake Seokjin up. He was confused, of course, voice a low mumble and one eye squinted open while the other stayed shut. But not nearly as confused as Seokjin, who had no memory of coming to Namjoon's bed the night before.

It's not the weirdest thing to ever happen to him, but it's definitely not normal, either. Why does he keep waking up in Namjoon's bed with no memory of how he got there? Why just Namjoon, and not, say, Yoongi, whose room is closer, who Seokjin was roommates with the longest?

Namjoon starts to stir next to him, and Seokjin is suddenly hit with embarrassment, scrambling up out of the bed and tripping when his foot catches in the blanket.

He swears, and then meets Namjoon's clouded, confused gaze, so it goes a little something like: "Fucking shi— good morning."

Namjoon's head falls back to his pillow. "Hyung. Hi again."

"Um."

"Did you drink last night?"

Seokjin frowns, a little offended that Namjoon wouldn't be surprised by a drunk Seokjin climbing into his bed without permission. He avoids drinking when they have schedules (unless they're travelling for concerts, in which case all bets are off), which all of them know, and he isn't the type to drunkenly crash in someone else's bed anyway.

"No. I didn't— I'm not sure what's going on."

Namjoon nods, like that explains anything, and yawns. Seokjin is struck by the sudden thought that he doesn't get to see Namjoon like this often. Sure, they all nap around each other, but Namjoon is good at getting himself up in the morning so rarely are they in each other's rooms like this.

It's... cute? Seeing their leader sleepy, and unguarded, and clearly only using half of his big brain right now.

"Namjoon-ah," Seokjin says, voice softer. He's still embarrassed, but grateful towards Namjoon for not freaking out, or being upset by this new pattern. He rubs at Namjoon's shoulder, just a little, because he's the hyung and it's what he does. Namjoon's eyes slide shut, leaning into the touch. "Sorry for sleeping with you again."

"Not every day I hear that," Namjoon mumbles, and Seokjin laughs despite the awkwardness, the weirdness of the whole situation. He sees Namjoon crack a smile, and the tightness in his chest loosens slightly.

"I'm just going to—" Seokjin doesn't finish, walking over to the door, and Namjoon gives him a small wave before finally grabbing for his phone, probably to stop himself from falling back asleep.

Or maybe to text the rest of the group that Seokjin is some kind of nighttime predator now, incapable of staying in his own bed. Which... would be fair. Seriously, what the hell.

Seokjin shuffles back to his bedroom, and is completely unsurprised to find Jungkook, that little opportunist, already starfished out on his bed, snoring softly.

—

The next time it happens, almost a week later, Seokjin wakes up more confused than ever — there is a moment where he thinks he's still dreaming, until everything feels too real, including the bit of drool that's collected at the corner of his mouth — but Namjoon, already awake, doesn't seem surprised at all.

"'Morning, hyung," he says, clearing his throat when his voice comes out deep and scratchy.

"Namjoon-ah," Seokjin says slowly, sitting up and squinting down at his dongsaeng, "what the fresh hell is going on?"

Namjoon's eyebrows furrow. His hair is messy this morning, and Seokjin's fingers itch with the urge to run through it, flatten it out for him. "You don't remember?"

Panic rushes through Seokjin, like a splash of cold water, and after a few seconds he wheezes out, "Oh my god, did we—"

He can see the same panic reflected in Namjoon's wide eyes when he scrambles to sit up as well. "No! Why on earth—"

Seokjin glances under the sheets. He's still wearing his clothes. A good sign. He hears a "ah, hyung, seriously?" next to him and looks back up to see Namjoon looking flustered, but smiling. "Please tell me you didn't think we actually had sex."

"I don't know what to think," Seokjin snaps, voice already too loud, and he makes an effort to lower it to avoid drawing the attention of anyone else in the dorm. "What don't I remember?"

"I mean, I guess it makes sense you wouldn't—" Namjoon cuts off, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "You were sleepwalking and came to my room last night."

What the— "I don't sleepwalk."

"I know. But you, um, did. I kept saying your name but it was like... you weren't hearing it? You just said 'let's go to sleep, Joon-ah,' and got in bed."

Seokjin feels— a lot of things. Confused, and embarrassed, and definitely freaked out. "Okay. And— you just let me?"

Namjoon blinks, seems confused by the question. "Let you get in bed? Well... yeah. I wasn't going to try to wake you up, I don't want to kill you."

Seokjin laughs, sudden and loud, looking at Namjoon in exasperation. "I'm pretty sure that's a myth, you're not going to kill me by waking me up. I mean— god, I hope not." Seokjin can feel himself getting a headache from thinking about this. "So I was sleepwalking those other times too?"

"Mm, probably. I was already asleep when you got into bed, those times."

What Seokjin really wants to ask is, Why you? but a part of him is afraid of the answer. Why Namjoon, who doesn't really like sharing a bed to begin with, who Seokjin hasn't been roommates with since they first debuted? Seokjin wants to grab his subconscious by the collar and demand an answer, Why Namjoon?

"Namjoon-ah," Seokjin says, in a voice solemn enough that Namjoon will know he's serious. "Do hyung a favor and— lock your door when you go to bed. Since I can't lock myself in my own room. Just in case it happens again."

Namjoon's face falls. "But what if you hurt yourself?"

It's true, the idea of sleepwalking still freaks him out a lot, but Seokjin waves his hand dismissively. "I'll be fine, it might not even happen again. Just do that for me, okay? I hate thinking that I'm bothering you."

"It doesn't bother me," Namjoon says easily, earnestly, and that does— something, to Seokjin's chest. There's a confusing twisting feeling, warm and tight, and he's pretty sure he hates it. "But, um, if it'll make you feel better. Then I can do that. You should maybe see a doctor if you're worried, though, hyung."

Seokjin frowns, the embarrassment back. This is the last thing he wants to talk to a doctor about, and even then, he's not sure what good it would do. "I'll just look it up on Naver later, it's fine."

"That's not the same as seeing a doctor—"

"Eh, close enough."

Namjoon sighs, but there's a smile tugging at his lips. "Ah, hyung." The words come out so gentle, in Namjoon's deep voice, and Seokjin's face is warm when he finally leaves Namjoon's bed, giving his shoulder a brief pat that feels awkward when it shouldn't.

—

The hope that no one in the dorm would find out about this whole ordeal is shattered the next day, when they're hanging around in the green room for a commercial shooting. As soon as Namjoon disappears to look for a bathroom, Yoongi turns to Seokjin and asks, "So what's going on with you and Namjoon?"

Seokjin laughs nervously. He doesn't know why, because Yoongi, more than anyone else, can definitely distinguish his nervous laugh from his normal laugh. "Nothing. Why do you ask?"

Yoongi's eyes narrow. "Did you fight? Something's off between you two. You're both acting all..." He trails off, waving his hand in a lazy gesture that could mean literally anything.

"We didn't fight. You can't believe me when I say there's nothing going on?"

Yoongi stares, and then asks, without even blinking, "Does it have to do with you sneaking out of his room in the morning?"

In a move that is both as comedic as it is unsettling, Jimin and Taehyung sit up on the couch they were slouched down on at the exact same moment, staring over at Yoongi and Seokjin with wide eyes.

"What?" Jimin asks, lips already stretched with a little smile of disbelief. Seokjin briefly remembers Jimin's April Fool's prank and groans. Of course he would be delighted by this news. Little demon.

"Hyung," Taehyung says, and even his deep voice sounds more amused than surprised now. "Are you and Namjoon-hyung really—"

"Yah, whatever you're thinking, it's not like that," Seokjin insists, and finally Jungkook speaks up from the chair he was dozing in just a little ways away from the rest of them.

"Ah, I did wonder why you came back smelling like Namjoonie-hyung's bed the other night."

Jimin's smile grows wider. Yoongi's eyebrows go up. Seokjin groans.

"How—How could you possibly know what his bed smells like—"

"I'm sensitive to smell," Jungkook huffs, cheeks turning a little pink. "So are you two... you know." Jungkook makes a very rude gesture with his hands. Jimin bursts into giggles, and an unwelcome heat creeps into Seokjin's face.

"Well Namjoon-hyung would definitely be the one doing the—" Jimin cuts off with a mischievous laugh to make his own rude gesture and Seokjin can feel a very loud rant building in his throat — partly to defend himself, partly to shoot down stereotypes about sexual roles — when Namjoon steps back into the room, immediately getting stares from everyone except a disinterested Hoseok.

"Hello?" Namjoon says nervously, clearly confused.

"They found out I've been sleepwalking," Seokjin blurts out, and Namjoon's face softens in understanding.

"Ah."

"Sleepwalking? You sleepwalk? Since when?" Yoongi asks, and Taehyung pipes up, "And what does that have to do with you hooking up with Namjoon-hyung? Which I fully support, by the way." He high-fives Jimin after he says this, and Seokjin isn't sure if he should scold them or not.

"Whoa, um, we're not hooking up? What did I miss?"

"Nothing, ignore all of them," Seokjin says. His face and neck are warm from embarrassment and he hopes his makeup is hiding it for the most part. It's bad enough he apparently has no control over his body when he sleeps; the last thing he needs is for the group to think he's in a sexual relationship with their leader as well. God, their managers would be horrified. And Seokjin... well, it's been a while since he's gotten laid, so maybe he shouldn't be thinking about this at all.

"Hey," Yoongi says softly, fingers touching Seokjin's arm, "if you want to talk to my doctor I can give you her number? Maybe sleeping pills would help."

"No, it's—it's fine, it might not even happen again," Seokjin says quickly, awkward now that the attention is on him, but still touched by Yoongi's concern. "But thank you."

"So you're sleepwalking to Namjoon-hyung's room..." Jungkook says slowly, eyebrows furrowed. "Hm."

"Maybe your subconscious is trying to tell you something, hyung," Jimin says under his breath. Seokjin feels the familiar itch to deal with the insolence by shouting as loud as he can, but holds back from making a scene when there's still staff moving around them.

Jungkook's face suddenly lights up. "Can I have your bed from now on, then?"

"Hey, let's all be more supportive, yeah?" Namjoon speaks up, and Seokjin shoots him a grateful look. "Hyung's understandably a little freaked out by all this, so let's tone down the teasing for now."

There's a chorus of "sorry"s from the maknae and Namjoon rubs Seokjin's shoulder when he walks past him, gives him a smile that doesn't feel pitying, which Seokjin is also grateful for.

"So... if it's like 3 a.m. and your bed happens to be empty—"

"Just buy yourself a new bed, Jungkook, fuck!" Seokjin shouts. It draws some stares, but it also feels good to finally snap, so. A fair trade.

—

Seokjin mostly forgets about his plan to look up sleepwalking on the internet until they're back at the dorm later that night, and Hoseok does it for him, sitting at the kitchen counter while Seokjin makes them both tea. Hoseok seems more empathetic than the others, probably because he used to get embarrassed about his own sleep habits, teased for talking and touching himself in his sleep until it became as normal as any of their other habits.

"This list of causes is kind of, hm..." Hoseok mutters, frowning at his phone. "Stress seems like the most applicable one. Honestly, it's hard to say, looking at this. Apparently you just shouldn't eat or drink or be stressed before bed, like, ever?"

"Easier said than done," Seokjin snorts.

"Yeah, exactly. Is there—" Hoseok pauses, looking up from his phone, and Seokjin immediately recognizes the look on his face. That's Hoseok's ever-patient 'I'm not the leader but I'm going to act like the leader now' face. "Is there anything going on with you and Namjoonie, like anything that's stressing you out you haven't talked to him about? Maybe that's why you keep going to him."

"No, of course not, things between us are fine," Seokjin says, flushing a little at how it keeps coming back to Namjoon. "It's more likely my subconscious finds comfort in Ryan stuffed toys."

Hoseok laughs, but it seems like he's indulging Seokjin more than anything, his expression still patient and open. "Okay, just a thought. Have you been sleeping well otherwise? Fatigue could be a cause—"

"Are you playing doctor right now?" Taehyung asks, walking into the kitchen just to open the refrigerator and then immediately close it again. "Maybe you should just go to bed with Namjoon-hyung to begin with and then you don't have to worry about sleepwalking there."

Seokjin is busy pulling out a third mug for Taehyung and almost drops it at that comment. "Yah, I can't just—"

"Hyung," Hoseok interrupts, giving Seokjin a slightly sheepish look. "He has a point."

It's a point, sure, but not one Seokjin is ready to accept. He recognizes his stubbornness, that it stems from being the oldest, from working hard to be self-sufficient so as not to burden the others. But even so, asking Namjoon to give up his private space for Seokjin's problem is out of the question. He thinks about Namjoon's patient, sleepy face, about the way he said It doesn't bother me like it was the easiest thing in the world to say, like he really meant it. He feels guilt, and something that aches a little deeper, something he doesn't want to try to label out of fear and self-preservation. God, when did this turn into such a mess? Living with the others has always been chaotic but bafflingly easy, a comfort when coming back from practices and events and tours that he took full advantage of.

Now the thought of Namjoon's soft smile and his warm bed makes Seokjin's palms sweat.

"It doesn't matter, I'm not doing that," Seokjin finally replies, raising his voice a little for dramatic effect. "What kind of person just expects to be allowed to sleep in someone else's bed every night—"

Seokjin cuts off when Jungkook steps into the room with comedically bad timing, eyes widening.

"Are you scolding me while I'm not even here?" he asks, a little whiny, and Hoseok laughs and drags Jungkook into a hug, kissing his head until the maknae's face scrunches with a reluctant smile.

Fondness wells up in Seokjin's chest like a very real, warm thing. He tilts his head, asks in a voice that's surprisingly serious even to his own ears, "Jungkook-ah, why do you like sleeping in our beds?"

Jungkook touches the side of his face nervously, lets Hoseok tug him onto the stool next to his. Seokjin sighs and digs out a fourth mug for tea.

"I don't mind sleeping alone sometimes, but, ah. It's just nice to fall asleep next to someone?" He shrugs, shoves his hands into his hoodie pocket, and Taehyung purposefully starts making noise on the other side of the kitchen so Jungkook doesn't feel like there's too much attention on him. "Hobi-hyung's bed is comfortable and it always smells really good, it's relaxing. It's easier to fall asleep if he's, um, petting me, or if I know someone is near. 's weird, I know, but I don't know, I just—"

"It's not weird," Hoseok says warmly, stroking a hand over the back of Jungkook's head the way both he and Jimin do all the time. They all really do baby Jungkook something fierce, but he's such a good kid, it's hard not to. "Tell hyung he's stupid for not just sleeping with Namjoon already."

Jungkook's eyes widen again, and Seokjin bursts out laughing when Hoseok tries to backtrack through his own laughter.

"Wait, that came out wrong—"

"Why would I tell him that? Why— what?" Jungkook asks loudly, cheeks pink. "Hyung. Keep your sex drama to yourself—"

"Everyone shut up and drink your tea, this conversation is over." There's a beat of silence, and then Seokjin notices the pained look on Jungkook's face and adds, sputtering, "Are you— Stop picturing your hyungs having sex!"

Hoseok ends up laughing so hard he falls to the floor.

—

Namjoon texts him later that night as Seokjin's going through his bedtime routine to ask if he should still lock his door, and Seokjin texts back a yes, and then a thank you.

It's difficult to fall asleep at first — he can't just not have anxiety over something as terrifying as his body moving on its own while he's unconscious — but exhaustion from a long day and tea help. Maybe he won't even sleepwalk. Maybe discussing it with the others was enough for his brain to overcome it.

And then Seokjin wakes up with a stiff neck, very much not in his bed, but instead on the floor outside of Namjoon's bedroom door. With Namjoon asleep next to him, and two pillows, and a large blanket covering them both.

Seokjin is more confused than ever. It doesn't particularly help when he realizes he was woken up by the creak of someone's door, and Hoseok stumbles upon them — literally stumbles a bit — and then starts screaming.

"Hope— Hoseok-ah—" Seokjin tries, voice gravelly, vision still a little blurry. "Quiet, it's just us—"

"Oh my god," Hoseok gasps out, clutching his chest, eyes wide. "What the fuck. Hyung."

Namjoon's eyebrows knit together and his lips pout at the noise — and oh, that's so cute, why is that so cute? — and then he lifts a hand to rub at his eyes, rolling over onto his back. "Mhh?"

"We scared Hoseokie," Seokjin tells him, and then moves to stand up, groaning at the stiffness in his limbs. He mumbles out an apology but Hoseok doesn't seem to hear it, lips turned down in a confused frown.

"Why are you both on the floor? What is happening? Fuck, it's too early for this." He leaves them to head to the bathroom, then, and Seokjin pushes his own confusion aside for a minute to help a drowsy Namjoon up from the floor, warmth stirring gently in his chest when Namjoon leans into him, tucking his nose against Seokjin's neck. He still must be half-asleep to be this affectionate, but Seokjin— well, he really doesn't mind. It's nice, bringing his hand up to rub at Namjoon's back and getting a pleased sleepy noise in return. It's cute. When did Namjoon get so cute?

"Namjoon-ah," Seokjin says gently, "why were we asleep on the floor?"

It takes Namjoon a moment to answer, voice hoarse and breath warm over Seokjin's neck. "You fell asleep outside my door last night, and when I brought you a pillow you asked me to stay with you."

Seokjin's stomach drops. "And you did?"

"Mm, yeah. What time 's it?"

Seokjin doesn't answer. He doesn't have his phone on him, for one, but also his mind is now a storm of uncomfortable thoughts. He, fast asleep, asked Namjoon to stay with him. And Namjoon just... did. Okay.

He helps Namjoon (and his pillows and his blanket) back to bed, leaving him sitting at the edge of the mattress and yawning down at his phone as he finally starts to wake up. It's early, and they could both probably sneak in another hour of sleep in their actual beds, but Seokjin opts for hiding in the bathroom and splashing his face with cold water, staring accusingly at his expression in the mirror.

His apparent attachment to Namjoon in his sleep is becoming a real problem he doesn't know how to deal with. But he knows he can't do this forever. Not to Namjoon, and not to himself. They both can't afford having their sleep disrupted, and Seokjin is afraid of the building tension between them, even if Namjoon appears to not feel it.

There is a solution here, he knows — one that doesn't involve having a long, uncomfortable talk with Namjoon, one that doesn't involve asking to sleep in his bed at night — and now he just has to find it.

—

Jimin steals Seokjin away during a break from practice later that day, tugging him over to a quiet corner of the room and laughing at the dread that must be apparent on Seokjin's face.

"Hyung, don't be so— I'm going to be serious, okay? I just want to talk."

"Jimin-ah, you care too much," Seokjin says, and the words come out a lot softer than he means them to. It's true, though — for all his teasing and personal insecurities, Jimin is one of the most caring people he knows. He's not surprised Jimin's noticed the bags under his eyes, the way he's been struggling with his new sleep problem. He's not surprised Jimin's pulling him aside to talk about it.

"I'm just worried," Jimin admits, pulling at Seokjin's neck until he leans his head on Jimin's shoulder. "Promise not to yell at me?"

"Okay," Seokjin agrees easily. He's already tired from a few hours of dance practice, so resting his head is actually a welcome comfort.

"I really think... you should be honest with yourself, and think about whether you could have feelings for Namjoon-hyung or not."

"Park Jimin," Seokjin starts, voice stern, but he doesn't finish. His stomach flips uncomfortably, already thinking over Jimin's words. Fuck.

"Kim Seokjin," Jimin answers in a low voice, and then laughs softly, shoulder shaking a little under Seokjin's cheek. "It's not bad, you know. To like him, if that's how you feel."

"You talk like you already have a crush on him," Seokjin mumbles, and Jimin laughs again, leans back against the wall.

"No, but— well, we all know Jungkookie did. And about Taehyungie's crush on Hoseok-hyung. It's normal, I think, to have some kind of feelings for people you admire, who you're around a lot."

Seokjin hums. They did all know that, about the other maknae, like secrets that weren't really secrets. Of course, Jungkook just has that sweet kind of personality where he may or may not have crushed on all of them at some point.

"I just think if you have feelings, well, you should be open about them. Maybe that's what's causing your sleepwalking problem. And I agree with the others, you should just try going to bed with him. He wouldn't mind."

"He wouldn't mind," Seokjin agrees, frowning. That's the part his brain gets stuck on, the part that doesn't make sense. Why wouldn't Namjoon mind? Why can everyone see that he wouldn't? Why aren't they questioning it like Seokjin is?

"Ahh, stop looking so serious, it's making me crazy," Jimin complains, and Seokjin blinks when Jimin shrugs his shoulder, pushing Seokjin's head away. "Hyung. I love you. Think about it and talk to Namjoon-hyung tonight, hm?"

"I'll... think about thinking about it," Seokjin answers sulkily, stomach still a little sick at the thought of dealing with whatever feelings he might have, the thought of confessing to Namjoon — I've been thinking about you a lot, and you make me feel safe, and when I look at your face in the morning it feels like a big angry bear is squeezing my heart — and getting a polite rejection in response.

Then again, maybe if he humiliates himself in front of their leader even his subconscious will be too mortified to seek Namjoon out when he's asleep.

"You'll see," Jimin says cryptically before standing up, smoothing his hands over Seokjin's shoulders and giving him a gentle smile. Seokjin reluctantly lets himself be comforted by it.

Jungkook wanders over a minute later, holding out a hand to help Seokjin up and grunting when Seokjin falls into Jungkook's body with all his weight. "Jungkook-ah. Carry me."

Jungkook snorts. "What, through the entire choreography?"

"Yes, thank you."

Jungkook laughs, and Seokjin tries not to notice the gentle smile on Namjoon's face when he glances over to them.

—

Talking to Namjoon later that night is easier said than done.

Seokjin showers when they get home and hides in his room for an hour, gaming to distract himself from his thoughts. But then he realizes with a pang that he's playing the game Namjoon plays most often, that he's wearing a comfortable sweatshirt that Namjoon gifted him for his birthday last year, and there goes any hopes of keeping his mind off the topic at hand.

Also, Namjoon is just difficult to track down in general, apparently. Seokjin tries asking the other members first (Hoseok replies with a helpful "idk" and Jimin replies with a whole lot of excited emojis) before wandering over to Namjoon's bedroom, finding it empty.

He feels a little stupid when it finally occurs to him to just text Namjoon and ask him where he is.

at the studio, is everything ok?

yes, Seokjin texts back, and then, have you eaten?

Namjoon's reply comes a minute later.

um

Seokjin smiles, warmth squeezing at his chest as he prepares a quick meal and packs it up, grabbing a bottle of the coconut water Namjoon likes as an afterthought.

Of course, it isn't until he's walking down the hallway towards Namjoon's studio that he realizes he has no real plan here, no idea what he wants to say or how to say it without just blurting out I can't stop thinking about sleeping with you and by the way did you know that you have dimples? Okay, great, good talk.

Seokjin sighs. He knocks on Namjoon's door, who opens it almost immediately, face lighting up and then going a bit sheepish when he sees the bag in Seokjin's hands. "Hyung. You didn't have to."

"Well someone has to feed you," Seokjin mumbles, hearing the fondness in his own voice. Namjoon looks tired and soft, undeniably handsome. He smells like coffee and like his lavender soap and Seokjin unpacks the food for him, pointedly setting the bottle of water in front of him. He tries to avoid mothering them — they're all grown men now, they've mostly learned how to take care of themselves — but old habits die hard. "You shouldn't be drinking coffee this late."

Namjoon waves his hand. "It's just to keep me going until I finish this part I'm working on, I was on my last cup anyway."

"Uh huh," Seokjin says, unconvinced, and Namjoon flashes him a smile. He does dig into his food, though, and seeing him eat fills Seokjin with a familiar little curl of pride.

They talk a bit, mostly about the project Namjoon is working on, and there isn't anything unusual about Namjoon lifting his chopsticks to Seokjin's mouth, feeding him a piece of meat.

But their eyes meet, when Seokjin takes the food, a nervous warmth swirling in his stomach at the way Namjoon's gaze drops to his lips, stare lingering too long to not make things a little tense between them. Seokjin swallows, thinks his palms might be starting to sweat. Namjoon sets his bowl down, food mostly finished anyway, and Seokjin says in a soft voice, "Namjoon-ah."

"Thank you for the meal," Namjoon says, not meeting Seokjin's eyes. "You should head home and rest—"

"Why do you let me sleep with you?" Seokjin blurts out, and Namjoon's reaction is— shy? Uncomfortable? He rubs the back of his neck and forces a smile that makes Seokjin's chest ache.

"It doesn't bother me. As long as you're okay, I'm fine to share a bed with you, hyung."

"But it's not right," Seokjin protests, unsure why he can't just accept Namjoon's gentle words. "You shouldn't have to— Ah, it's not like we're—"

"What?" Namjoon interrupts, smile still not quite genuine, but not cruel, either. Just... wrong. "We're not dating?"

Seokjin laughs, then, a little hysterically, and finally Namjoon's face furrows in concern, leaning forward to touch Seokjin's knee. "Jin-hyung. Can I tell you something?"

Seokjin nods. He can't imagine what Namjoon might say, but his heart is beating too fast, something too close to shame twisting in his stomach.

"Remember when, ah, not long after debut? My 20th birthday, when you lost Rock, Paper, Scissors and had to give me roses and a kiss."

Oh. Why would he bring that up? Seokjin hasn't thought about that in years, sort of blocked the whole thing from his memory because the awkwardness between the two of them right after had been suffocating. He can see it now, though — a skinnier Namjoon in a tank top and a snapback, Hoseok bursting into laughter when Seokjin took the cap off and leaned in, both of them cringing and laughing and then just. Kissing.

It was supposed to be a peck. But the giddiness of peer pressure and half a bottle of soju had Seokjin holding Namjoon's shoulders, kissing him deeply, giving him a proper kiss for his coming of age.

"I never expected—" Namjoon continues on, looking nervous, looking serious. "I think that was when I realized, um, I liked you. Since that day."

Seokjin lets the words echo around in his head for a moment, chest seizing like his heart's being squeezed by a bear again. A selfish, reckless bear. "That was years ago."

"Yeah."

"Kim Namjoon that was— that was five years ago."

Namjoon shrugs. He shrugs. Seokjin wants to scream, but Namjoon keeps talking before he can. "It's not like I've been creepily waiting for you for years, but, um. I like you. I like being near you. I like your laugh and the way you look after everyone and how puffy your face is in the morning and sleeping next to you doesn't bother me, okay? It's kind of nice, having that little bit of human contact after a long day, knowing your subconscious trusts me enough to let down your guard around me."

"This is not how this was supposed to go," Seokjin says, face warm, eyes wide. "I can't believe you stole my confession from me. Yah, you traitor!"

Namjoon huffs out a laugh, but his gaze is soft, hopeful. "Your confession?"

"Jimin told me I have a crush on you."

"That's nice of him," Namjoon says slowly, clearly amused. "Hyung. Were you really going to tell me that?"

Namjoon's hand starts to slide up his thigh, and Seokjin's stomach gives a hot, panicked lurch until he realizes Namjoon is just trying to hold his hand.

"Yes. It's weird, I'm sorry. I'm your hyung, it's weird, but the more I think about you the more I just..."

"Yeah?" Namjoon asks, gentle.

"The more I just want to throw up," Seokjin finishes, and Namjoon laughs again, head ducking down, cheeks dimpling. Seokjin wants to kiss him so badly, so suddenly, he's dizzy from the thought.

"Please don't throw up."

"Namjoon-ah."

Namjoon squeezes Seokjin's fingers, still smiling. "Jin-ah."

Seokjin feels a twinge of heat, when it would normally be annoyance, and he quickly brushes that away. "You like me."

"I do, yeah."

Seokjin takes a deep breath, squeezing Namjoon's fingers back. "Kiss me?"

It's awkward, at first. There's really no getting around the awkwardness. Namjoon rolls his chair closer, tongue poking out like he wants to wet his lips and then thinks better of it, and Seokjin's palms are definitely sweaty, his stomach tight with nerves. It's been too long since he's kissed someone. And he hasn't kissed this someone in particular since they were awkward, gangly kids. Technically adults, but just barely.

Namjoon's hand slides to the back of Seokjin's neck, warm and large, and Seokjin's eyes flutter shut when Namjoon tilts his head and leans in, breath warm over Seokjin's mouth just before their lips touch, soft, unsure.

There are no fireworks, but there doesn't need to be. It feels good, feels thrilling and warm and heady to be kissing someone, lips parting for each other, trading deeper kisses that spark a lower kind of heat. Good feels like an understatement now, and Seokjin hums against Namjoon's mouth, opens for him, shudders at the touch of his tongue and the hard way he sucks at Seokjin's bottom lip.

He hasn't been kissed like this in months, maybe longer. Seokjin's body is awash in heat and the growing desire to crawl into Namjoon's lap when he finally pulls back, gasping, letting himself bask under Namjoon's dark, appreciating gaze.

"This might be a bad idea," Namjoon finally says, voice low. He sounds like he's saying it just for the sake of saying it, and Seokjin grins.

"So was that haircut I got last year, but we all survived that, didn't we?"

And just like that, they're both laughing, Seokjin too loud and Namjoon with dimpled cheeks and a slightly exasperated sigh.

—

They head home together and Namjoon doesn't look surprised when Seokjin shows up in his bedroom doorway later, in a thin sleep shirt and shorts, after going through his skincare routine and brushing his teeth. He holds his favorite grey striped pillow over his arm.

Namjoon smiles, shuffles awkwardly by his bed, and then yelps when he somehow knocks his phone to the floor.

Seokjin's chest is warm and he can't stop the fondness that wells up, the comfort, the easiness of this. "Please don't break your phone."

"It's fine!" Namjoon says quickly. "It fell on the rug."

Neither of them move for a moment, and Seokjin finally breaks the silence, says in a loud voice, "Ah, Namjoon-ah, get in bed already. Unless you've changed your mind—"

Namjoon steps forward, taking Seokjin's hand and pulling him close. There's a soft smile on his lips and Seokjin opens his mouth to ask him what he's doing but never gets the chance to speak, Namjoon's lips covering his.

Seokjin hums in surprise, lets Namjoon hold his face with his free hand and fit their lips together, sliding, sucking. It's a sweet kiss, but it still stirs a tingling kind of warmth in Seokjin's belly, makes him press forward into the kiss until Namjoon's pulling back with a shaky breath.

"Hyung," Namjoon whispers, voice rough. Seokjin feels a wicked little pulse of heat at the sound.

"Mm?"

"You're... you're a really good kisser."

Seokjin can't hold back his sudden laugh, dropping his head to Namjoon's shoulder and finally wheezing out, "Of course I am."

"Ah, hyung," Namjoon mumbles, voice filled with fondness, smile shy and dimpled. Seokjin desperately wants to kiss him again, but is afraid once he starts he won't be able to stop. He also kind of likes when Namjoon is the one to initiate it, but he's not sure how his pride as the older one feels about that, so he keeps that locked up for now. He'll deal with it later. (Probably in the shower tomorrow.)

"Joon-ah," Seokjin says softly, huffing out a final breath of laughter. "Let's go to bed now."

Namjoon sets an alarm for them and they slide in at opposite sides of the bed, settling under the covers, both mindful of leaving a space in the middle of the bed. Seokjin lies on his back and Namjoon on his side, facing Seokjin, nuzzling his cheek into his pillow until he's comfortable. Seokjin wants to tell him how cute he is, so he does, and Namjoon's smile is shy again, a little dazed, or maybe just sleepy.

Seokjin has to give Jungkook credit — Namjoon's bed does smell good, and the way his body relaxes even with someone else in his bed helps Seokjin relax in turn. He's only a little embarrassed when he finds himself asking, "You really don't mind, do you?"

Namjoon hums, reaching up to touch Seokjin's shoulder, hand sliding down his arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake. "'course not. Good night, hyung."

"Good night," Seokjin echoes softly.

—

Seokjin wakes up to Namjoon's alarm, and it isn't until he reaches out to stop it — thank god it's not more complicated than hitting the home button — that he realizes how close he is to Namjoon.

Like, curled up on his chest, close. With Namjoon's arm around his shoulder, his strong chest rising and falling gently beneath Seokjin's cheek, his eyes shut but eyebrows a little furrowed from the disturbance of the alarm.

Seokjin is sleepy and shameless enough to let himself lean back into the comfort of Namjoon's warmth, toes curling as Namjoon strokes down his arm, clears his throat as he stirs awake.

"You didn't sleepwalk," Namjoon finally mutters, smiling softly like Seokjin isn't currently having a half-asleep crisis about how firm Namjoon's pecs are. "'s good, right?"

"Yeah," Seokjin says after a minute, finally rolling away from Namjoon. He suspects Namjoon's arm may have fallen asleep and he's just too polite to say anything about it. He sits up, glances back down to see Namjoon rubbing at his eyes, mouth stretching with a yawn. Seokjin feels a warm twinge in his chest. "Namjoon-ah, since when are you this cute?"

Namjoon huffs out a laugh, squinting one eye open. "Hyung. Haven't I always been this cute?"

Seokjin groans, and then, without overthinking it, he leans down and kisses Namjoon slowly, lazy compared to their other kisses, but still nice. Still enough to make Seokjin's stomach flutter when Namjoon kisses back, opens up under the soft pressure of Seokjin's mouth.

Their lips make a wet sound when they part, startlingly loud in the quiet of Namjoon's bedroom, and he must catch a flicker of doubt on Seokjin's face — the ugly little squeeze of panic in his stomach, the brief thoughts of uncertainty about what they're doing — because he cups Seokjin's cheek, says in a voice that is steady and sure and still pleasantly low from sleep, "Don't overthink this, baby."

Seokjin's whole body heats up at the pet name. That is a thought that's definitely getting saved for the shower, too dangerous to dwell on right now. "It's not weird that we're suddenly doing this? We haven't really talked about—about the risks—"

"Please don't make me talk about feelings this early," Namjoon complains, but he's smiling when he sits up. His shoulders look really, really good in his tank top, and Seokjin finally drags his gaze away to find Namjoon staring at him knowingly.

"I can explain."

Namjoon huffs out a laugh. "Ai, hyung. Are you happy? Are you comfortable with this, with us? Do you like the kissing?"

"I mean— of course." Who doesn't like kissing, he almost adds, but it wouldn't sound right. Wouldn't be fair to Namjoon, when something about him specifically, about his touches, are affecting Seokjin a whole lot more than anyone else could.

"Then let yourself have that, and don't worry about it. We don't have to, like, announce it or anything, ah, but just let yourself be happy—"

Namjoon's phone dings loudly with a message, and he reaches for it without thinking, glancing down. Seokjin watches his eyebrows furrow, and then shoot up as his eyes widen.

"What? What is it?"

"Um." There's a pink flush creeping into Namjoon's cheeks when he shoves the phone at Seokjin, open to what Seokjin recognizes as their group chat.

There is currently a little flurry of messages popping in — Seokjin puts the phone on silent, to stop the annoying dinging — but Seokjin's attention is fixed on the picture Taehyung's sent, very clearly taken from Namjoon's bedroom doorway, probably less than an hour ago based on the soft morning light starting to peek through the window.

Seokjin is curled up close to Namjoon, cheek pillowed on his chest, both of them fast asleep and lower bodies one tangled lump under the covers. Truth be told, it's a fairly innocent picture. They all sleep together, they all cuddle, there is really no intimate position that hasn't been explored by two or more of the members (most often with Taehyung or Jungkook involved). But the soft lighting of this photo in particular that seems to make them glow, his and Namjoon's broad bodies and sleep-relaxed faces, the overall unexpectedness of seeing them in bed together like this, wrapped up in each other...

Seokjin blushes. He feels warm, and surprisingly calm, even when he says, "That little motherfucker."

Namjoon bursts out laughing. "I didn't even hear him come in. At least he didn't post it to Twitter?"

"Not that this is much better," Seokjin mumbles, surprised by all of Jimin's excited replies when he's usually not even up this early. "What a bunch of demons. Are you sure we raised them?"

Namjoon laughs again, taking the phone back and setting it on the desk by his bed without reading any more of the messages. He fixes Seokjin with a look, then, reaches out to slide his hand up Seokjin's arm, and then with an impressive amount of strength, he grabs Seokjin and presses him into the bed.

Seokjin's back hits the mattress and he opens his mouth to complain, to distract from the blush heating his face and the little curl of desire in his stomach, but Namjoon's lips are already covering his. Namjoon kisses him deeply, taking his breath away and then grinning against Seokjin's cheek when he gasps to get his breath back.

"What the—"

"You know you do this thing, when you're annoyed, where you purse your lips and like—" Namjoon cuts himself off, kissing Seokjin again, groaning against his lips. "It makes it so hard to not kiss you."

Seokjin thinks he hears footsteps in the hall — this is bad, they're definitely going to have company in a few seconds — but the warmth coursing through him makes him greedy, giddy and reckless. He pulls Namjoon closer, lets himself touch those strong bare shoulders and kiss with more pent-up frustration than tenderness now, body aching for more contact, lips already sensitive enough to have him groaning when Namjoon's teeth tug at his bottom lip—

And when the door opens and they hear swearing and fumbling and giggles, Seokjin turns his head and yells, "Yah, this isn't a free show!" and then kisses Namjoon mid-laugh.