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Taehyung stared into the sky through his plane window, his mind floating like the clouds in his view. He suddenly wondered if, IF he could lay on the clouds like Son Goku or Peter Pan. Can a human being do that? Lay on the clouds all day and just stare into nothingness? Think of nothing? Do nothing? Feel nothing?
He's on his way to Malta, with his manager and 2 cameramen. He was supposed to fly together with Bangtan 3 days ago to film their annual travel show on VLive, Bon Voyage, but he had to stay behind to deal with personal matters.
Taehyung checked the plane's stats in his screen: 2 hours until landing. Almost there, he said to himself, I'm almost there. He then turned on his phone to re-watch the video that Jimin had sent him earlier today. It was a clip of the 6 other boys enjoying their time on the yacht, drinking and dancing to their new songs from their then unreleased repackaged album. Taehyung then wished he knew teleportation or time-travelling or flying (like Son Goku or Peter Pan), just so he could be with them right now. He played the video atleast a dozen times more, watching his hyungs, Jimin and Jungkook cutely say "Taehyung,I love you!" over and over again.
Watching the clip has relieved his loneliness, reminding him that he's never alone. That he has 6 amazing dorks waiting for him in Malta.
Taehyung doesn't like this: travelling without the other members. Taehyung doesn't need to stare at clouds or imagine that he's laying on them if the others were here. Their presence put his mind at ease.
He misses sharing earphones with Jimin. He misses hearing Yoongi complain that he's sleepy and they're too loud. He misses hearing Seokjin's jokes and hearty laugh. He misses listening to Namjoon talk about the books he just read or the songs that he's currently writing about. He misses taking care of a sleeping Jungkook who always forgets to bring extra blankets even though he gets cold easily. He misses Hoseok.
Hoseok's... whole being.
He looked over his manager and the cameramen who were all asleep. Thank God they're not filming me anymore, he sighed as a sign of relief. He went over his photo gallery, scrolled through his albums (there was quite a few: Yeontan, Bangtan, Jimin, VANTE, Family, Hwarang...) until he found this one specific album that has one specific letter as its name, with one specific person in it.
오.
It's a photo album of Hoseok in Taehyung's phone. The fans know about this — he used to post a thread of pictures that he had taken of Hoseok on their public Twitter account and used that album name as the hashtag in his captions back in 2015.
He may have ended the thread that same year, but it doesn't mean that he stopped taking pictures of Hoseok. It's quite the contrary, actually. He never stopped, he couldn't stop, taking pictures of Hoseok. In a span of 3 years, the album currently has 436 photos of him.
Taehyung had changed his phone at least twice now, but he'd always make the effort to transfer all of the photos in his 오 (reads as 'O' or 'Oh' in English) album to whatever new phone he has. He doesn't know why he needs to have this album on his phone; maybe it's just a force of habit or maybe he just loves the artistry of the pictures or maybe he needs something to look at in days like this, when he misses Hoseok terribly and can't do anything about it.
"Hoseokie-hyung, I'm sorry." Taehyung said softly, staring at one of his favorite pictures of Hoseok. "I'm really sorry."
They had an argument 4 days ago, a day before their original flight schedule to Malta. They haven't spoken to each other since then, as Taehyung had to re-schedule his flight.
Now, he sulks in his plane seat, staring at Hoseok's photos while remembering the last time they talked.
"Taehyung-ah, everything's gonna be okay —"
"No. Hyung, it's not gonna be okay. Stop acting like the world is a perfect place. It's not. Just leave me alone."
"Do you want to talk about it? I'll listen. I'm here."
"Are you really — Wow. 3 years, Hyung. I've confessed to you 3 years ago, and you've been subtly avoiding me since then. You can't even stand being alone with me! And now, NOW suddenly you're HERE FOR ME?!!!"
"Taehyungie..."
"You thought I wouldn't notice?!"
"I'm sorry..."
"I confessed to you because I couldn't hide it anymore and I thought you needed to know. I never said that you have to like me back. I know where I stand, Hyung. I know that I'm a guy and you're a guy, and we just can't work. I knew that."
"Taehyung-ah, it's not like that."
"I didn't expect that things will change between us. That you'll avoid me like this. That you'll slowly walk away from me. You, of all people."
"That's why I'm telling you that I'm here now. I'm here, Taehyung."
"It's too late."
"Ya, Taehyung-ah... don't be like this."
"You always show our fans that you're this happy, shiny person that comforts everyone, but in reality you're nothing like that. You're selfish. You only think about yourself. You never cared about me, so why are you here pretending that you do? Because you're guilty? Because Poor Taehyung is sad and alone and miserable and you're guilty because you know you're one of the reasons why."
"That's enough."
"I don't need you. I don't need anyone. I hate you! Just go away. GO AWAY."
Taehyung let out a heavy sigh again, his chest filled with remorse. He knows that Hoseok was just trying to cheer him up, but he lashed out on him in return.
He was having a hard day — no — he was having a hard couple of months at that time, struggling with himself, his family, his friends, and being BTS' V. He tends to repress all his feelings, pretend that everything's okay, until he explodes.
That day was his limit. He was so confused and sad and frustrated and down and angry and defeated for so long that all it took to break him was Hoseok's presence. Honestly, he would have taken his anger out on anyone who dared talk to him at that moment, and it just happened that it was Hoseok.
Out of 6 bodies, it had to be Hoseok.
I miss you, Hyung. Taehyung mumbled to himself as he stares into his plane window again, counting down the hours before he sees the boys, before he sees Hoseok.
/Where are you now?/
"I'm walking."
/Walking where?/
"Walking to the restaurant. I'll be there in 5 minutes."
/Waaaah! Taehyung is coming! Okay, be careful then. See you soon, TaeTae!/
Jimin called Taehyung (for the fourth time today, mind you) to ask where he is. They hung up soon after, and Taehyung kept on walking. His heart is thumping like crazy, excited to see his boys again after 3 whole days.
As soon as he reached the restaurant, the members spotted him. "Ah, Taehyungie-hyung is here!" Jungkook exclaimed.
"OooOoooOoohhhhhhHHhHHhhh!" Seokjin screamed, waving his hand at Taehyung.
Taehyung grew the biggest, widest, rectangular smile on his face upon seeing the other boys smiling and waving at him. Finally, they're complete. He's complete.
Hoseok stood up, beaming at him. Isn't he mad?
Taehyung came up to him for a high-five, but Hoseok pulled him in, kissed him on the head, and hugged him briefly. The younger can't help but grin at this sudden gesture, but he contained himself, well-aware that they were being recorded.
They resumed filming. The members ordered local foods for him (Jimin was literally spoonfeeding him at one point), thinking that he's starving after a very long flight. Taehyung would steal glances from Hoseok from time to time, happy that he could finally look at him in the flesh. Staring at real-life, moving, breathing Hoseok is still a million times better than looking at pictures of him. Now, he just needs to find the perfect timing to talk to him. And apologize.
"Do we ride the bus? Or train? Boat? Horse? Cows?" Taehyung asked, still unaware of their transport set-up. Their manager forgot to brief him upon their arrival. They have finished eating, and were all heading to the parking lot onto their next location.
Yoongi pointed to 2 parked cars, smiling, "We drive, Taehyungie. We can afford to rent cars now."
"Which car should I ride then?" Taehyung asked again.
"You go with us, Taehyung-ah!" Seokjin answered him this time, walking towards a silver car.
Taehyung followed him, "Who's coming with us, Hyung?"
As he sat on the passenger seat, he heard Hoseok's voice. "Will they text us the address?" He's standing outside the car, holding the door to the driver's seat.
Oh, so he's driving this car. Taehyung pondered. Great. This is just... great.
The staff sent them their next location, so Hoseok started the engine and drove. Hoseok focused on his driving while Taehyung just sat silently on the passenger seat. Seokjin talked the whole time, making an effort to lessen the awkward vibe between his two younger members.
Then Hoseok suddenly requested, "Taehyung-ah, can you open your GPS? I don't know where to go anymore. I hope we're not lost."
"Ah... yes, Hyung." Taehyung opened his NaverMaps app and searched for the location address, "Turn left on this boulevard —"
"Turn left." The GPS voice command interrupted Taehyung,
"Shut it." Taehyung scolded his phone, making Hoseok laugh. "Did NaverMaps make you mad, Taehyung-ah?"
"I want to tell you the directions myself, Hyung." Taehyung said, softly.
Hoseok didn't respond to him. He just glanced at Taehyung quickly and smirked.
Taehyung quietly admired Hoseok, as he served as the older's human GPS. The car was at right-hand drive, but Hoseok managed to drive smoothly and safely.
It also dawned on Taehyung that Hoseok looked so damn attractive while driving. Hoseok's brows formed a crease across his forehead, above his fierce eyes that are trying to be vigilant on the road. His jaw is clenched, sharply contouring the edges of his face. His lips, OH his lips, are pressed together in a hard line. Taehyung then realized that it is Hoseok's standard look when he's concentrating on something, may it be learning a new dance or working on new melody in his studio or writing his rap verses.
Sunshine Hobi may be the cutest, but this, THIS kind of Hoseok is Taehyung's favorite.
"Hot." Taehyung mumbled.
"Hot?" Hoseok mimicked him.
Taehyung eyes grew wider. Oops. "It's hot in here. Is the AC on?"
Seokjin then replied, "Ya, you shouldn't have worn that black long sleeves. Go change later."
They finally arrived in their next shooting location, a horseback riding field. Taehyung got excited as he actually had horseback riding lessons for Hwarang 2 years ago. He enjoyed every bit of it, and now he gets to ride a horse again!
He cleared his mind as he rode his horse and enjoyed the scenery. He made his horse run faster, leaving the other boys behind. He went and chased the sunset, as it gradually vanishes down to the horizon.
Taehyung halted his horse on top of the hill, admiring the breathtaking view. He then remembered that he used to watch sunsets with Hoseok and Jimin before they debuted. They'd just sit somewhere — at the park or their dorm's rooftop or outside a convenience store — and watch the day turns into night. They would just sit there and stare at the sky, feeling the comfort of each other's existence.
There were no words needed between them, and Taehyung was fine with that.
Just him and Hoseok and the sky.
"Wish I could go back to that time. When everything was simple." Taehyung whispered.
He finds it amusing (and quite heart-rending) how everything, every single thing, he does reminds him of Hoseok. Or at least how things used to be with Hoseok.
When evening came, the Director told them to split into groups of three. Jimin volunteered himself to be paired with Taehyung, and the two went to a nice place for dinner and strolled around Valletta. Taehyung also tried busking for the first time, serenading the streets with his rendition of Maroon 5's 'Sunday Morning'.
The cameramen stopped filming when they were heading home, so Jimin finally had a chance to interrogate his best friend. He started with simple queries, "So... did you have fun with our little adventure? Was I a good tourist guide?"
Taehyung tapped his shoulder and hugged him from the side, "Yeah, thank you. I had fun. I was kinda regretting about busking though. I wished I could have done better. I sucked."
Jimin put his arm around Taehyung's shoulder and ruffled his hair, "Aish, you did great! I wouldn't be able to do that. The crowd loved it!"
Taehyung smiled. Jimin never fails to reassure him that he is good. That he is talented. "You think so?"
Jimin nodded and smiled sweetly, "ARMY would go crazy if you release an official cover of that song."
They both giggled. Jimin then continued on smoothly sliding in his real questions, "Where do you wanna go tomorrow? I bet you they'll pair you up with someone else. Hoseokie-hyung, maybe?"
Taehyung's mouth instantly formed into a straight line, "I don't think that's a good idea. We'll be awkward. ARMYs would notice."
Jimin bit his lip, "Guess you haven't talked yet, huh."
Taehyung shook his head, pouting, "I wanted to send him a message before I came here, but I didn't know what to say. It was my fault. He has every right to get mad and ignore me."
Jimin's brows furrowed, "But he's not ignoring you, though. He even kissed you when you arrived! I saw that."
"I don't know, Jiminie. I am so tired of this. I shouldn't have confessed to him. We were fine before. I could have just continued on with my one-sided love in silence." Taehyung sighed in exasperation, "I just... I miss him. It sucks that I get to see him everyday, but still miss him."
"I'm so sorry, Taehyungie." Jimin side-hugged Taehyung again as they continue walking. Their feet got tangled a few times, and Taehyung had to grab Jimin to prevent him, them, from falling ("Ya, Jimin-ah!!" "Sorry!!").
Taehyung is still confused and sad about this whole thing with Hoseok, but having Jimin beside him made him feel a lot better.
Jimin's hugs and giggles really do wonders.
They were the last ones to come home. Jungkook was in his room, drying his newly colored hair (this is what boredom does to the little one), Yoongi was already sleeping (it was way past his holiday bedtime), Hoseok and Seokjin were showering (not together; showering in their respective bathrooms), and Namjoon was in the living room, doing a few squats (it takes perseverance to achieve a body like THAT).
"I'll head upstairs now and shower. Ramen later?" Jimin told Taehyung as he climbed upstairs
Taehyung just answered his best friend with a nod. He sat down on the couch and watched Namjoon do his evening workout routine.
"Looking good, Hyung." Taehyung said to Namjoon teasingly.
"Why are you here? Go wash up." Namjoon answered.
"Jungkook is still in the bathroom. Have you seen his hair? He looks like an ice cream."
"No. He'll come out once he's done for sure."
Taehyung didn't say anything else.
Namjoon stood up and looked at the ceiling to check the cameras, "It's past midnight. They should have stopped recording by now." Then he glanced at the room that he's sharing with Hoseok and turned to Taehyung, "Have you talked to Hoba?"
Taehyung knitted his brows. Are they all gonna ask him about this? "No, why?"
Namjoon snickered, "He couldn't stop talking about you. I'm serious. We were at the mall yesterday, just the two of us, and I swear, he said 'Taehyung' at least, at least, 15 times. We were at the Lego store and he said, 'Oh, this Lego looks like Taehyung!' then we went to Bershka and he was checking out these shirts and he said 'Oh, Taehyung would look good in this!'. Then, we passed by this art store and he mentioned you again. He said if we weren't on a fixed budget he'd buy you a sketchpad." Namjoon shook his head, grinning, "Now, this is the fun part. He kept on losing things, too! He lost the key to our place and he left his shopping bag at the mall. He was so out of it yesterday that it's actually quite funny. It's like we switched bodies. It's so obvious that he's distracted about something. He even said some words at the bar earlier."
Taehyung just blinked, at a loss on how to respond to Namjoon. Namjoon stared back at him with a smug look on his face.
Seconds later, they both heard noises coming from Namjoon and Hoseok's shared room. Looks like Hoseok's done showering.
"Talk to him, Taehyung-ah." Namjoon tapped him lightly on the shoulder, "I'm gonna go shower."
Hoseok never came out of his room, and Taehyung was too reluctant to come up to him and talk. What is he gonna say anyway? Will Hoseok even speak to him? They've never had a heart-to-heart conversation in three years, ever since Taehyung confessed about his feelings. Taehyung doesn't expect that things will change any sooner, especially now that he had said those awful words to Hoseok.
"Jungkook-ah, what are you doing?" Taehyung has just finished his bath, and he's putting on his face mask. Jungkook is on the floor, arranging a pile of clothes.
"I'm doing the laundry, Hyung." The youngest replied. "Do you want to help? You're tired from your flight, though. Just sleep. It's okay."
"No, I'm not sleepy yet." Taehyung stood behind Jungkook, watching him segregate his laundry load. "Did you take their laundry, too?"
"Mmm-hmm..." Jungkook grabbed a handful of white shirts, "Don't act surprised. I do this back home, too."
Taehyung took the remaining laundry that was left on the floor and followed Jungkook to the laundry room. He watched the younger do the laundry, his thoughts still filled with Hoseok.
"Hyung!" Jungkook called him out.
Taehyung snapped out of his thought bubble, "Yes?"
"You were obviously not listening to me. I was asking if you spoke to Hoseokie-hyung already."
Wow, even Jungkook? "No, not yet."
"What's holding you back?"
Taehyung looked down, his chest feeling heavier, "I just don't know what to say, Jungkook-ah. I could apologize to him, I could take back everything I said, I could..." He then sighed, "...I could do everything, and it won't change anything. He'd still be awkward with me. I'd still be regretting that I told him how I feel."
Jungkook still has his back on Taehyung, checking the washer's settings while trying to give advice, love advice for that matter, "Hyung, you don't know that. Give Hoseokie-hyung some credit. I'm sure this is hard for him, too."
Taehyung stood up and joined Jungkook in configuring the washer, "What are you staring at?"
"The settings. Did I pick the right one?" Jungkook replied, eyes wide. He then shrugged and hit the start button. "Whatever. Anyway, make it up to him. Hoseokie-hyung is not an evil person, we both know that. You know that it's your fault, so go apologize to him. You can't go on like this, Hyung."
Taehyung pinched his tummy, "Ya, when did you act like a grown-up? Look at you, giving me advice."
"I've watched Titanic and Kimi no Na wa. I know everything about love." Jungkook jokingly answered.
Another fun-filled day had gone by. Bangtan explored Mdina (the island's old capital and also known for Game of Thrones' filming location) the whole morning. By early afternoon, they went fishing.
"Did you talk to Hoseok-ah yet?" Yoongi casually asked Taehyung while the others were afar. The both of them had lost all hopes in fishing so they just decided to sit by the beach and relax. No cameras were on them as they were just resting in the shade.
"You all ask me the same question." Taehyung said softly.
"Because we care." Yoongi replied, "And also because we're nosy."
Taehyung gave him a half-smile, "I haven't talked to him yet. I can't find the perfect time 'cause we're filming."
"He's having a hard time." Yoongi said, looking at a screaming and laughing Hoseok having a playful wrestle with Jimin by the shore. "He's so good in keeping this cheerful front for us and the fans, but in reality he gets sad, too. He gets hurt, too."
Taehyung frowned, feeling more guilty as ever, "I know." He sighed and glanced at Yoongi, "I wish he could be more open to me though. Like old times. Now, he doesn't even want to be in the same room with me."
"That's not true." Yoongi shook his head, "He just doesn't know how to show his feelings. Talk to him, Taehyung-ah."
"But, Hyung..." Taehyung pouted.
Yoongi sat up and grabbed Taehyung's hand, "Stop making excuses. Talk to him."
"Why do you have to hold my hand, though?" Taehyung asked, giggling at their intertwined hands.
"You were disagreeing with me. I'm just following our Hawaii rules." Yoongi shrugged, showing off his gummy smile.
"You just like holding hands."
"Yeah, okay. That too."
After 3 painful hours of fishing (Yoongi caught one tiny fish before they left), they've all decided to call it a day and go to the carnival for some cheering up.
"You kids go, I'm tired." Yoongi said, as he put his legs and feet up on Hoseok's lap and closed his eyes.
"I am not a fan of carnival rides." Jimin shook his head.
"I'm still going." Seokjin opened the door. He then glanced at Namjoon, "You're not coming, right?"
"No, Hyung. I got no energy left." Namjoon answered, making himself comfortable in his seat, or at least tried to.
"I'm coming with you, Hyung!" Taehyung removed his seat belt and got out of the van.
Jungkook followed him, "Let's go to the carnival!"
Taehyung rode all sorts of rides with Seokjin and Jungkook. After a good, heart-stopping, fun-filled hour (Seokjin was almost in tears after their last extreme ride), they've all parted ways. Jungkook wanted to ride the roller coaster again (and his poor cameraman agreed to come with him) while Seokjin decided to come back to the van and rest. Taehyung was going to come back to the game stall that he passed by earlier.
"I'm going back to the van. Where are you going?" Seokjin asked Taehyung.
"I saw this game stand and I liked the prizes so I'm gonna go and play." Taehyung replied.
"Prizes?"
"Yeah. They are giving out flamingos as prizes."
"Flamingos? The pink birds? Like... are they cooked or you'd take them home alive and keep them as pets? Can you even take them home to Seoul?!"
"No, Hyung! Flamingo stuffed toys!"
"Oh, gotcha. I didn't know you like those. I thought Hoseok —" Seokjin caught himself, "I know where this is going."
Taehyung smirked, "I know he likes flamingos, so I'm gonna try to win one for him."
Seokjin teasingly grinned at him, "Okay. Well, good luck then. I'm leaving."
"Hyung, don't tell him! This is a surprise!" Taehyung told Seokjin as the older walks away.
Taehyung then went on his journey to win over a flamingo plushy. Upon reaching the stall, he stopped on his tracks, wide-eyed. "Flamingo. Yes." He remembered Hoseok mentioning that he's never seen a flamingo in real life and he really wants to see one.
"Can I play?" He asked the lady attending the stand.
The lady nodded and gave him a pretend shotgun, "5 Euros, 1 game."
"5 Euros?" Taehyung grabbed some money in his pocket and paid.
"Just shoot these targets, then I'll give you a prize. 30 points for the small one. 50 points for the big one." The lady then pointed to the plushies hanging on her ceiling.
Taehyung looked at the flamingo stuffed toys, imagining the smile on Hoseok's face as he gives it to him, and started shooting. His aim was not bad; he got 25 points in his first try.
"Did I win?" Taehyung held his breath.
The lady shook his head, "No, sorry. You need 30 points."
Taehyung's face fell, "Okay. Try again." He gave another 5 Euros and started shooting. 27 points.
Then his cameraman reminded him, "Taehyung-ah, the director is looking for you. It's time to go home."
"Last game, Hyung. I promise." He used his charm, so the cameraman let him play one more game.
Taehyung then glanced at the lady again, "How many do I need again? I want the pink plushie."
"30 points."
"30 points?"
"30 points."
Taehyung then looked up the sky, as if he was saying a silent prayer, and said, "Hoseokie-hyung."
30 points. He needs to get 30 points in this last game for Hoseok.
He paid the lady and let out a deep breath. He then recited a chant to himself: You can do this, Taehyungie. 30 points. For Hoseokie-hyung. Focus, Taehyungie. Shoot them all.
Taehyung imagined that he was a sniper and he needed to shoot all these targets like his life depended on it.
"How many points?" he immediately asked the lady after finishing the game.
The lady counted the targets that Taehyung had hit. She then smiled at him sweetly, "31 points. Congratulations."
Taehyung jumped for joy, "Yes!" He even came up to his cameraman and hugged him, "I won!"
The lady grabbed a small flamingo stuffy hanging on the ceiling and gave it to Taehyung. Taehyung had the widest smile on his face, like the flamingo was his first Daesang award. "Hoseokie-hyung will love this."
It's way past midnight when the Bon Voyage crew finally wrapped up with filming and gave the boys some privacy. Jungkook and Jimin were washing the dishes (after losing an intense battle of Rock-Paper-Scissors) while Namjoon, Yoongi, Seokjin and Taehyung were all in the dining room, eating ice cream.
"Now's the time, Taehyung-ah." Yoongi said out of the blue.
"Time for what?" Taehyung asked, totally oblivious.
"Hoseok is at the rooftop. Jungkook made him hang our clothes to dry so you can talk to him in private." Namjoon explained, his mouth stained with chocolate.
"Right now?" Taehyung asked again.
Seokjin answered, "Yes, right now. We're leaving this place in 2 days. We'll be busy with Answer once we come back to Seoul. I hid your gifts under Jimin and Yoongi's bed. Go get them then go to the rooftop and talk to Hobi."
Taehyung frowned, "But —"
Yoongi threw him a dirty look, "Ya, this needs to stop. We are all sick of you pining over each other. It's been 3 years. Go upstairs before I drag you."
"Fine." Taehyung then stood up. He may be way taller than Yoongi, but he knows that the older won't hesitate to drag him if needed. "If this doesn't end well, it's on you, Yoongi-hyung."
Taehyung got his gifts and went to the rooftop. He let out one deep breath before approaching Hoseok.
"Hoseokie-hyung." he said.
"Did Jungkook send you to help me?" Hoseok answered, straightening up the clothes that he had hung.
"No, I-I wanted to give y-you something." Taehyung stuttered.
Hoseok looked at him, "You brought me something?"
"Well, this one I brought..." he raised the box that he's holding with his left hand (he bought Hoseok a Horse figurine at Mdina), "This one, I didn't." he then wiggled the flamingo that he's holding with his right hand before giving it to Hoseok.
"Waah, Taehyung-ah. Really." Hoseok tilted his head and smiled widely, a cute mannerism of his when he's happy, "Where did you get this?"
Taehyung scratched his head, smiling shyly, "Carnival. I played this shooting game in this stall and I had to hit at least 30 targets to get a prize." Taehyung then pretended that he was shooting the targets with his imaginary shot gun, "Bang! Bang! Bang!"
Hoseok then clapped, amused, "Waaaah. You won and got this prize for me?"
Taehyung nodded, his tiny smile spreading wider and wider, "You said you like flamingos."
"I do." Hoseok then wrapped an arm around Taehyung's shoulder, "Thank you. Really. Wow. It's so cute!"
"It's nothing." Taehyung said, massaging his hands that has become numb from shooting over 100 targets last night for that stuffed animal.
"I'll put it in my studio." Hoseok giggled while he played with the flamingo in his hand.
They sat quietly for a while, both anxious to say anything. Taehyung's terrified that he'd say the wrong words and end up upsetting Hoseok again.
Nonetheless, he bit the bullet.
"I also wanted to say I'm sorry." Taehyung squeezed his hands hard, tensed, "I know you were just trying to comfort me. I had no right to say all those awful things to you." Then he started to tear up, his voice cracking, "It's not your fault. It was never your fault."
"Aigoo, Taehyung-ah..." Hoseok's face hardened. He re-positioned his seat so he's face-to-face with Taehyung. He grabbed the younger's hands in his, "Stop saying that. It was partly my fault. You were right. I was lacking as an older brother to you. You confessed to me and instead of telling you how I felt, I ghosted you. That was unacceptable. Completely unacceptable. Yoongi-hyung and Seokjin-hyung would always scold me, telling me to stop giving you a hard time..." He drew his face closer to Taehyung and wiped his tears away, "...I'm sorry, Taehyungie."
Taehyung suddenly hugged him, "I'm sorry, Hyung. Forgive me."
"Ya, there's nothing to forgive. I wasn't mad at you." Hoseok then hugged him back, "I am sorry. For being distant to you, especially when you needed someone to lean on. I just thought that maybe if I gave you space, your feelings will change."
"But it didn't."
"It didn't?"
"Did I stutter?"
Hoseok laughed heartily; Taehyung's sassy remark stopped him from getting carried away by his emotions. He continued on, "I was talking with the others and they jokingly said to me that maybe you're attached to me because I was your first kiss. That's what guys are anyway, right? We don't forget our first kiss. Not that I still think about my first kiss, she's dead to me —"
"So... all these years. 3 whole years that you've been cold to me, it's because you think I'm just..." Taehyung blinked a few times, eyes wider than ever, "...attached to you??? You were weaning me off of you??"
"I just don't see the whole point of you liking me. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? Have you looked at these people who told you they like you? That girl from Billboard last year? That girl who wrote her number in a piece of paper and placed it in an Inkigayo sandwich that you almost swallowed? Have you looked at me?"
Taehyung knitted his brows, confused, "I don't get you, Hyung. You're more attractive than all of them combined. Also, why should I look at them if I can just look at you? "
Hoseok didn't respond. He can't respond. He doesn't know how to respond.
Taehyung spoke again, "Are you okay?"
"You can't like me. You..." Hoseok scratched his head, "Why? Why do even like me? Is this because I let you lay your head on my lap? Or because I don't scold you when you make dancing mistakes?"
Taehyung chuckled, "No! Hyung, what is wrong with you?! I like you because you're you. I like you because you're multi-talented and passionate and kind and funny and easygoing. I like that you work so hard with producing and dancing, not because you have to but because you want to. I like how you give your heart and soul to your craft. I love how caring you are to us, especially to us maknaes. Honestly, sometimes I think you are the glue that sticks us all together I like looking at your face. I like how your dimples show up when you're eating, I like how your ears fold when you're wearing a hat, I like how your mouth turns into a heart when you're smiling, I like the sound of your laugh, I like your eyes... Hyung, I can go on and on."
"You're really serious, huh?"
"Did you think I was pranking you?!" Taehyung lifted his shoulders in a half shrug, "Hyung, it doesn't matter if you believe me or not. I liked you 3 years ago and it hasn't changed. I still like you. I like you."
"Okay."
"Okay, so..."
"So, what?"
"Do you... maybe... even just a tiny bit... like... me too?"
"Hmmm..." he then quickly gave Taehyung a peck on the cheek, "Maybe."
"Maybe?" Taehyung's cheeks turned red almost instantly.
Hoseok pinched Taehyung's cheek, "I've always found you cute ever since you entered the agency, but..."
"But, what?" Taehyung stomped his legs, like a kid throwing tantrums. "Hyung..."
Hoseok chuckled, heart melting by Taehyung's cuteness. He then cleared his throat and explained, "...But I didn't want to tell you that I like you even when you confessed because I thought you were just confused. That maybe you thought you like me, but in reality, you're just attached to me. That's why I tried to distance myself from you. I thought that maybe you'll realize your true feelings if we spend less time together. I didn't want to avoid you, but I thought, at that time, that it was the best thing for the both of us." Hoseok sighed, head down, "Besides, you're better off with a girl. You've always dated girls before. Go meet a pretty girl that's as pretty as you and make pretty babies. I can't give you pretty babies 'cause #1: I'm not as pretty as you and #2: I can't give you babies. I can just be your children's rich, cheery uncle who visits them on Holidays."
Taehyung took Hoseok's hands in his, "Okay, I'm just gonna pretend that I heard the first sentence and blacked out after that."
Hoseok pouted, "Taehyung-ah, I'm serious here!"
"I'm serious, too. I understand your doubts. I understand your hesitations. I understand that our relationship may not be ideal. I understand why you had to distance yourself from me. I understand that you chose to hide your feelings from me because you don't want to me and end up hurting yourself in the process. But Hyung, please stop making this more complicated as it is. Stop overthinking."
Hoseok fell silent.
"Look at me, Hyung." Taehyung lifted his chin up, "We like each other. Can we just leave it at that? At least for now?"
Hoseok met his gaze. He looked into Taehyung's eyes and he got his answer. He finally got the assurance that he's been looking for all this time. Right there, in front of him. He nodded and smiled, "Okay."
"We can worry about other things some other time. Together." Taehyung then stood up, "Let's go down. It's getting chilly in here. The flamingo will freeze and die."
The two of them stood up, Hoseok gathered his gifts and Taehyung grabbed the hamper.
Hoseok then said as they were approaching the stairs, "Again, I'm sorry. For everything."
Taehyung hugged him with his free hand, "It's okay. I forgive you. Just don't do that again."
Hoseok kissed his ear, "I won't."
Then they slowly went downstairs. Taehyung managed to grab Hoseok's hand. The older let him.
"Hyung, let's stroll around Valetta again tomorrow."
"Okay."
"Then let's eat."
"Okay."
"Then when we go camping, can I sleep beside you?"
"Okay."
"Then when we go home, let's be plane seatmates. I'll switch with Jungkookie."
"Okay."
"Then when we go to the dorm, I'll tell the members that we made up."
"Okay."
"Then I'll tell them that we're boyfriends."
"Okay— YA!"
"You said okay, though."
"Don't tell them yet."
"Yet? So can I tell them someday?"
Hoseok giggled, leaning in to kiss Taehyung's temple, "Okay."
Since then, Taehyung never wished to lay on the clouds and do nothing.
He's finally got Hoseok; what more can he wish for?