Chapter Text
[DAVID] reentered [CC Counselors Chatroom.]
Gwen: DAVID WTF IS THE FREAK STILL DOING HERE
Daniel: wow rude
David: Um…
Daniel: technically
Daniel: i still work in camp campbell
Daniel: i wasnt actually legally fired
Daniel: right, david?
Gwen: DAVID
David: Daniel was a really good counselor, Gwen!
David: He got the kids to behave for a whole day!
David: But then he drank some bad Kool-Aid so he had to go to the hospital
Daniel: yeaaaaahhhh
Daniel: the kool-aid was “bad”
Gwen: the kids said he poisoned the kool-aid
Gwen: how is that good
Daniel: i can neither confirm nor deny that
Gwen: htf are you even texting?
Gwen: shouldnt you be locked up somewhere?
Daniel: i’m actually alive in the hospital tyvm
Daniel: half a dozen machines and needles on me
Daniel: but youre not getting rid of me so soon Gwendolyn
Gwen: i hate you
David: Aw, Daniel! You never told me you were still in the hospital!
Daniel: where else would i be david
Daniel: prison?
Daniel: wait
Daniel: no nevermind dont answer that
David: Wait, does that mean you can accept visitors now??
Daniel: ummm
Gwen: yep he can
David: That’s great! See you soon, Daniel!
[DAVID] has gone idle.
Daniel: you monster
Gwen: thats what you get
Gwen: also
Gwen: you hurt him
Gwen: you will never leave that hospital
Gwen: got it?
Daniel: you assume i can reach anything
Daniel: i can barely even hold my phone without everything hurting
Gwen: your fault for drinking rat posion
Daniel: poison*
Daniel: and here i thought you were a liberal art major
Gwen: how the fuck did you even
Daniel: david was more than happy to share
Daniel: also
Daniel: im coming back to camp
[DANIEL] has gone idle.
Gwen: oh fuck
Gwen: time to stock up on holy water
Gwen: wait would holy water work on a cult leader
Gwen: thats still technically a religion???
[DANIEL] reentered [CC Counselors Chatroom.]
Daniel: wooooooow
Daniel: rude
[DANIEL] has disconnected.
[GWEN] has disconnected.
[DANIEL] reentered [CC Counselors Chatroom.]
Daniel: @everyone okay so
Daniel: i may need help breaking out of the hospital
[DAVID] reentered [CC Counselors Chatroom.]
[GWEN] reentered [CC Counselors Chatroom.]
David: You need what now?
Gwen: wait is this actually happening
Gwen: omFG IT IS
Daniel: read up david
Daniel: i need help breaking out of the hospital
Gwen: why
Daniel: the doctors want to keep me here longer
Daniel: which is bullshit
David: Language!
Daniel: david please
Daniel: not right now
Daniel: im not ready to go to jail yet
Gwen: maybe you shouldnt have killed those kids
Daniel: do you know what they do to people like me in prison Gwendolyn
Gwen: dont they fuck you up cause you killed kids
Daniel: wtf no
Daniel: nobody cares about that
Gwen: woooooow
Daniel: im not ready to be the new meat
David: So you want us to break you out of the hospital so you don’t go to jail??
Daniel: EXACTLY
Gwen: hmmmm
Gwen: what do we get
David: Gwen, we shouldn’t bribe someone when he needs our help!
Daniel: as much as i hate it
Daniel: i’ll help you deal with the brats for the rest of summer
Gwen: FORGET IT NO THANKS
David: THAT’S AN EXCELLENT IDEA, DANIEL!
Gwen: DAVID NO
Daniel: soooo…??
David: Of course we’ll help!
Gwen: DAVID
… // [DAVID] has whispered to [GWEN] // …
David: Do you know what this means?
Gwen: other than breaking the law then no
David: We’ll have Daniel in our debt now.
David: Not to mention he’ll have to behave unless he wants the police to get an “anonymous tip” to his location.
Gwen: ooooooo
Gwen: you had this all planned out
Gwen: didnt you?
David: Yep.
Gwen: you sly mofcker
David: Thanks
Daniel: so is that a yes
Daniel: i need to know before i nab a scalpel
Gwen: fiiine, we’ll help
David: Oh this is so exciting!
Daniel: david you need to learn how to text
Gwen: you have no idea how many times ive tried teaching him
Gwen: it never works
Daniel: smh
Daniel: well shit i need to scram
Daniel: doctors are outside
Gwen: maybe its the police
Daniel: funny funny look how hard i’m laughing
[DANIEL] has disconnected.
[DANIEL] reentered [CC Counselors Chatroom.]
Daniel: so
Daniel: turns out you were right
Daniel: it was the police
Gwen: omfg
Gwen: are you shitting me
Daniel: wish i were
Daniel: no problem tho
Daniel: i got away
Gwen: htf
Daniel: for some reason police cars in this town have door handles and locks on the back seats
Daniel: not that hard to disable the lock pull a handle and roll out
Daniel: sure you gotta tumble around for a while but it’s better than prison
Gwen: jesus christ you are a madman
Daniel: sure i am what’s your point
Daniel: where’s david anyway?
Gwen: probably driving to town
Gwen: he never checks his phone when hes driving
Daniel: gdi
Gwen: why
Daniel: i need a ride
Gwen: where are you
Daniel: i don’t know it’s all forest here
Gwen: ugh fine stay where you are im going
Daniel: bring a med kit
Gwen: wtf did you do
Daniel: warfarin side effects Gwendolyn
Daniel: my nose is bleeding and bloody hitchhikers aren’t common anywhere now are they
Gwen: that rat poison really messed you up didnt it
Daniel: you don’t know the half of it
Gwen: i’ll take the spare car
Daniel: i thought the camp only had one car
Gwen: they do
Daniel: so then?
Gwen: anyone tell you you ask too many questions?
Daniel: stfu and hurry up somebody's coming
[DANIEL] has disconnected.
Gwen: maybe its the police again
[GWEN] has disconnected.