Chapter Text
It had been months since Pennywise disappeared. Months of a mixture of peace and ghosts in their sleep. Georgie calling his name in the depths of his mind, night terrors forcing him awake covered in sweat and tears. Every day was torture for Bill, depression nibbling at his insides and blank stares of melancholy from his friends making him feel guilty for not being able to calm the storms in their minds.
They all had good days, but they also had bad days. Beverly had visited a few times since she left, those were usually the good days. She was like a breath of fresh air, making them breathe normal again.
Ben was alive again when she was around, or whenever she wrote him. He still had scars from claws that wouldn’t let him forget those summer days. He confessed to the remaining boys that he’s glad its winter- layers and layers of thermals and scarves make him feel normal. They hide the unseen truth.
Mike tried to hold them together, he was the strongest out of them. The bravest. Bill often found himself jealous of just how composed Mike could be. He admired his ability to switch a flip and be the person he wanted to be and Bill suspected Mike hid his pain until he could get home. For one night, they were at Richie’s, for a sleepover. Everyone was asleep, aside from Bill and Mike. Mike was in the bathroom for hours. The sink’s water running kept Bill awake. Bill worriedly went to check up on him and Mike just said he was still cleaning Henry’s blood from his hands. That was the only time he saw Mike crack.
Unlike Richie, who acted the happiest out of all of them, but they knew it was false. He joked his way into being normal with a horrible accent and a wide grin on his face. Bill tried to get him to open up so many times, but the only person who could make Richie drop the faux persona was Eddie and Eddie would always know when Richie needed him. He knew when Richie’s smiles were smaller than usual and he knew when Richie’s jokes lacked humor. When Richie was having a difficult day, it was usually a difficult day for everyone- because if Richie didn’t try to make them laugh, then who would?
Eddie changed after Pennywise, and Bill wants to believe he changed for the best, but sometimes Eddie was so cold and calculated that Bill thought of the movie ‘invasion of the body snatchers’. Eddie used to be the softest of the group, fragile and pleasant to be around, but now he was confident in ways he never was before and he could also be cruel. It was so unlike the Eddie before. Bill was wary around him lately, Bill was babying Richie one night, and Eddie had yelled at him that he couldn’t replace Georgie with Richie. Eddie had cried the rest of the night, out of guilt and shame. Granted, Eddie always felt horrible after a spontaneous mood change. Eddie was never mean to Richie though. With Richie, Eddie was soft again, light even. He was more himself than even before Pennywise tormented them.
Just like how Bill was with Stanley and what would Bill be without Stan? Stanley’s need for cleanliness and reassurance grew rapidly after their battle with the monster. Stanley doesn’t like to talk about it, but Bill knows what Stan’s tight smile really means. Much like Richie and Eddie, Bill and Stanley got a lot closer after Pennywise. Bill would never say it out loud, but he was kind of grateful of Pennywise for that. Which is easier to say now that the dancing clown is dead, but Bill all the sudden found himself falling for Stanley’s curl and kind brown eyes. They supported each other in a way the others never could. Bill found himself stuttering less when it was just the two of them, and Stanley stopped flattening his shirt.
Those were the good days though, because Stanley somehow picked up a new compulsion. He got into moods where he would repeat himself repeatedly. 3 times. 3 times exactly. No more or no less. The others didn’t know how to deal with It. They would just look to Bill for guidance or maybe out of sympathy.
The first few times Stanley started this tick, they asked him what was wrong. Richie joked about him being broken. Stanley went on a long tangent about how three signifies completeness and stability, as represented by the three Patriarchs and the three pilgrimage festivals –Passover, Shavuot, and Sukkot and how he needed to be cleansed by God. Somehow if he repeated himself 3 times God would protect, heal, and guide him. The others were concerned, but Bill just wanted to support him. Stanley was an angel after all, if you asked him. Bill just wished Stan could see it as well.
-
It had been months after Pennywise disappeared, and Bill felt elated and tortured at the same time, but if he knew what was coming he would go back and drag out the sorrow he felt in those months. Hell, he would even face Pennywise again.
Pennywise would be a saint compared to the monster that was heading their way- but no, he wasn’t even a monster, he was just a man. Which somehow made it worse.
-
Yawning himself awake, Bill looked at the time, 2:50 am. He was on Richie’s couch. Eddie and Richie snuggled close on a lazy boy in the corner. Mike in the bathroom, Bill closed his eyes tightly when he heard the telltale sound of a sink running. Ben was sitting on the ground next to the couch eating popcorn watching some cheesy horror movie on film.
“W-Whu-What are y-y-u-you doing aw-wa-wake?” Bill stuttered out sleepily.
“Oh! Bill you scared me! I couldn’t sleep, I’m too excited about Bev visiting tomorrow.” Ben rushed out holding his chest. “Why are you awake?” He then asked shoveling a handful of popcorn into his mouth.
“I don’t know, but I’m burning up, maybe that’s why.” Just as he was saying that Bill noticed legs wrapped around his own. A fuzzy blanket weaved in and out of their combined legs. Stanley. Warm Stanley who still smelled like the buttery popcorn and cinnamon cookies they snacked on last night.
Very carefully Bill tried to pull his legs free. An annoyed sigh of breath blew curls into the air. Bill just stared in awe.
“You’re hopeless.” Ben laughed quietly. “and not subtle at all.”
“W-wh-at ar-are you ta-l-alking ab-b-out?!” Bill turned red and yanked his long legs away from Stanley. Which he regretted admittedly when Stanley gasped awake. He looked horrified and Bill gently grabbed onto his arm when Stanley tried to swing.
“Bill, oh, it’s just you. I’m sorry.” Stanley whispered breathless.
“I’m-m sor-sorry for wa-king you Stan.” Bill bit his lip. “It’s ear-ly go bac-k to sleep.”
“Have you ever noticed, you stutter less when you talk to Stanley?” Ben asked from the floor still eating that stale ass popcorn.
Both boys turned red and looked down. “No, I-I-I d-don’t!” Bill mumbled at the same time Stanley asked for the time.
“It’s 2:59, nearly 3.”
Bill tried to stop Ben from saying those words, he wasn't sure why, they just gave him a bad feeling- a secret Stan shouldn't hear, but as soon as Ben told him- Stanley stand up, nearly tripping with the covers still trapped around his legs. Bill stood up with him.
“It’s three? Three? Three?” Stanley looked far away.
Right at this moment Mike walked back into the room and Stanley dropped to his knees.
“Stanley?” Bill asked warily, starting to walk towards him.
All the commotion also woke up Richie and Eddie, Eddie looked ready to snap as Richie searched for his glasses. Once they both noticed Stanley on the ground any grumpy morning comments were thrown out the window.
“What’s he doing?” Eddie whispered softly. "Is he okay?"
They could all hear Stanley mumbling, but he became louder when he started to stand up. He kept praying on his hands and knees, curls caressing the ground, before standing all the way up, bending over slightly to where he was hunched over and then doing it all again. Faster and faster every time.
“Mi Shebeirach avoteinu v’imoteinu,
Avraham Yitzchak v’Yaakov,
Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel v’Lei-ah,
hu y’vareich et Stanley ben Donald Uris, Andrea Uris
baavur she-alah
lich’vod HaMakom, lich’vod haTorah.
Bis’char zeh HaKadosh Baruch Hu
yishm’reihu
v’yatzileihu
mikol tzarah v’tzukah umikol nega umachalah,
v’yishlach b’rachah v’hatzlachah
v’chol maaseh yadav,
im kol Yisrael. V’nomar: Amen. Amen. Amen.
שָׂטָן-Pennywise-שָׂטָן-Pennywise-שָׂטָן-Pennywise
Adversary!! Adversary. Adversary.!!
Save me from temptation. Save me from temptation. Save me from temptation.”
Stan was on a rampage.
“He’s scaring me.” Eddie was crying- they all were crying.
Popcorn forgotten Ben looked to Bill obviously upset for “starting” this. Whatever this was. Bill had never seen Stanley like this, it didn’t make any sense.
“What do we do?” Ben was shaking. “Bill? I didn't mean to. Make him stop.”
Richie wrenched his arm free from Eddies tight grasp. “What are you doing Richie?!” Eddie was wide-eyed.
“I’m going slap him out of it or something!?”
He started heading towards Stanley, but Bill pushed him back towards Eddie. “No, don’t touch him, I got this.” Bill awkwardly grabbed Stanley’s face when he stood for the umpteenth time.
Stanley’s eyes were crazed. Looking for blessings or a saving grace Bill couldn’t give.
Not knowing what else to do.
Bill kissed him slowly.
Then kissed him again.
And again.
Until Stanley closed his eyes, wrapped his arms around Bill’s neck, and kissed back.