Chapter Text
[ SIN SQUAD 2.0 (6) ]
dontyeon: ayo wassup my homies
#1 army: doyeon why
#1 army: stop hanging out with bin please
#1 army: this is like when he introduced you to memes
#1 army: except worse
dontyeon: :’(
1969 moon landing: [lilhoetryme_n.png]
1969 moon landing: say that to my face
#1 army: give me until this prof gives us a break and i will
1969 moon landing: now that’s dedication
#1 army: i’m also gonna kick your ass
1969 moon landing: what
1969 moon landing: why
1969 moon landing: i didnt even do anything
#1 army: …
1969 moon landing: ………………….today
#1 army: think of it as payback for all the stupid shit you’re gonna do in the future
dontyeon: oooooooo get rekt bin
#1 army: who said that,,, suddenly i dont know a doyeon
dontyeon: :-((((((
dontyeon: you know what see who helps you with your calc hw now yoojung
#1 army: nO IM OSRRY DOYEON
#1 army: I DINDT MEAN IT PLEASE
1969 moon landing: what did i do to deserve all this abuse
1969 moon landing: minhyuk where are you i need someone to defend my honor
1969 moon landing: i’d ask eunwoo but he's too nice he wouldn’t fight yoojung
dwayne johnson: soz bro ur on ur own have fun kickin his ass yoojung
1969 moon landing: bRO
ong no u didnt: did i like kill someone in my past life or smth
ong no u didnt: bc god why does this keep happening to me
ong no u didnt: i can never show my face in public again
ong no u didnt: i’m never leaving my room
ong no u didnt: suddenly i’m a dropout i dont know a college what’s that
ong no u didnt: this is worse than the time i got a grape stuck up my nose
ong no u didnt: or that time bin bet me i couldnt do the splits and i ripped my pants straight up the ass trying to do it
1969 moon landing: it wasnt even a full split tho like
1969 moon landing: and i told you not to do the splits in jeans
1969 moon landing: but dont listen to bin he doesnt know anything
ong no u didnt: in my defense i was drunk so that shouldnt count
ong no u didnt: and i couldnt not do it you know how much i needed that $10
1969 moon landing: u spent all trying to win that plushie from the claw machine,,
ong no u didnt: ur point????
cha cha slide: Hyung what happened?
ong no u didnt: eunwoo,,,, my bro,,,, my favorite dongsaeng,,, the one and only person in the gc whom truly cares about me and my wellbeing,,,,,,,,, thank you for being concerned about me,, unlike SOME people
1969 moon landing: @ me next time
#1 army: savage
ong no u didnt: OKAY ANYWAY
ong no u didnt: so
ong no u didnt: you know that daniel dude
ong no u didnt: the one who’s in my eng lit class
ong no u didnt: had pink hair at one point
ong no u didnt: always stumbles in right as the prof is taking attendance
ong no u didnt: has suddenly been wearing a wrist brace for the past two weeks????
ong no u didnt: like what’s up with that he should probably get that checked out by a doctor or smth
1969 moon landing: u mean the dude you’ve had a crush on for like 2.5 yrs or smth but ur too much of a chicken to actually talk to him so you like lowkey stalk him
1969 moon landing: that’s creepy hyung
[ ong no u didnt ] changed [ 1969 moon landing ]’s nickname to [ trashbin ]
ong no u didnt: shut it
ong no u didnt: and it's called admiring from afar
trashbin: you fool this is my true form
ong no u didnt: choke
cha cha slide: Hyung...
ong no u didnt: sorry
ong no u didnt: anyways
ong no u didnt: i,, may or may not have
ong no u didnt: a c c i d e n t a l l y
ong no u didnt: told him that he has a nice dick
dwayne johnson: you did what now
cha cha slide: Oh no.
trashbin: “accidentally”
dontyeon: how dare you make me read this with my own two eyes
trashbin: how do you accidentally tell someone they have a nice duck
trashbin: *duck
#1 army: nicely
trashbin: **DUCK
trashbin: D I C K
ong no u didnt: well,, u see,,,,
ong no u didnt: to set the scene:
ong no u didnt: there i was, sitting in the library and doing my textbook readings like a good student,,
trashbin: fake
trashbin: we all know ur a horrible student
#1 army: oh like you are?
dontyeon: D I S S
trashbin: i came here to have a good time and im feeling so attacked right now
ong no u didnt: bin
ong no u didnt: leT ME TELL MY STORY
ong no u didnt: okay so as i was saying i was in the library, reading my textbook like u do
ong no u didnt: and then suddenly i feel a presence next to me
ong no u didnt: and u know i dont think anything of it bc u know?? maybe someone is gonna sit next to me the library isnt that crowded but u know no one can resist these good looks,, a true visual
trashbin: im vomiting
trashbin: why do i associate with u
trashbin: also how can you say that when eunwoo exists
ong no u didnt: BIN
ong no u didnt: i will kick your ass out of the chat i swear to god if u dont
ong no u didnt: also i concede to the fact that eunwoo is the most beautiful man on this godforsaken earth and no one will ever reach his level of beauty
cha cha slide: Thank you, Hyung.
trashbin: you'll have to physically kick me out of the chat
trashbin: meet me @ that quad lets settle this like men
[ cha cha slide ] kicked [ trashbin ] out of the chat
dontyeon: oh my god
dwayne johnson: h o l y s h i t
#1 army: did that really just happen or am i hallucinating
[ dwayne johnson ] changed the chat name to [ eunwoo just Did That™ ]
cha cha slide: Continue, hyung.
ong no u didnt: thank you eunwoo
ong no u didnt: okay so where was i
ong no u didnt: ah yes so i thought someone was just gonna sit down so i was minding my own business and shit
ong no u didnt: but then i feel a tap on my shoulder?? so like i take out my earphone and turn my head and there is daniel standing right fucking there, like beautiful by crush is literally playing in my other ear and the light was like haloing around his head
ong no u didnt: it was like some shit straight out of a drama like you cant make this up
ong no u didnt: but i just stare at him, gaping just a little bc i have never been this close to a G O D in human form, and then he has the audacity to smile at me? like what the fuck??
ong no u didnt: so like any logical person i panic
ong no u didnt: i avert my eyes because i feared if i stared at the sun any longer I'd go blind and i love having my 20/20 eyesight
ong no u didnt: but that's a rookie mistake
ong no u didnt: my eyes land on…
ong no u didnt: h i s d i c k
ong no u didnt: obviously not on purpose because his crotch is like at my eye level like why does he have to be tall then this wouldnt be an issue
ong no u didnt: but then i panic more bc here i am,, just staring at his dick. silently starting to question how he gets a whole dick in those pants. u know the ones, the super tight ripped ones
#1 army: the pair that made you walk into a doorway bc he was leaning over a table and his ass looked “like it was sculpted by by michaelangelo there is no other way an ass can look like that” ?
ong no u didnt: yes those ones
#1 army: understandable
#1 army: i, too, wonder how a whole dick can fit into pants in general
dwayne johnson: i tried to explain to you
#1 army: yea no thanks i didnt want to hear you talk about your duck minhyuk
#1 army: *dick
dontyeon: the curse of the duck
ong no u didnt: but okay back to my story
ong no u didnt: i am panicking, and glance back up at his holy face as soon as i realize i had been staring at his dick and my face feels like it's on fire
ong no u didnt: so i go to complement his pants so he doesn't think im a pervert who likes staring at people's crotches, y’know?
ong no u didnt: but what do i say?
ong no u didnt: “that's a nice dick”
ong no u didnt: and i dont realize what ive said until a few seconds pass
ong no u didnt: like what did i do to deserve this
ong no u didnt: obviously i nyoomed the fuck outta there after that bc i was on some weird adrenaline high, which 2/10 would not recommend because it leads accidentally commenting on people's crotches
ong no u didnt: which brings us back to the present
dontyeon: wow
dwayne johnson: you fucked up big time my dude
[ cha cha slide ] added [ moon bin ] to the chat
[ cha cha slide ] changed [ moon bin ]’s nickname to [ binnie ]
cha cha slide: [screenshot_27.png]
cha cha slide: [screenshot_28.png]
cha cha slide: Here's what you missed, Bin.
binnie: EUNWOO
binnie: I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT TO ME
binnie: OF ALL PEOPLE
binnie: I TRUSTED YOU
cha cha slide: I'm sorry, but it would've taken Seongwoo-hyung 30 minutes to tell his story if I didn't.
cha cha slide: I'll buy you take out to make up for it.
binnie: hell yeah apology accepted
#1 army: that's all it took
binnie: what can i say im a simple man
☆☆☆
[ sexy bandit for president (4) ]
damn daniel: um
damn daniel: i just got my dick complemented and idk how 2 feel abt that