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“I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid,” Alex said. “I bet he’s straighter than a streetlight,” he said. The two of you were with the rest of the guys at the bar having a grand ol’ time. Alex was slightly buzzed, but still mentally aware enough to sign his name on a napkin. You were the DD for the night, being one hundred percent sober the whole of the night.
Why? You both were staring at a guy that walked in a few minutes after you all did and your first thought was PROBS GAY PROBS GAY PROBS GAY but Alex disagreed, protesting by saying he was a stereotype straight male looking for a blondie to take home for the night.
After debating it, you challenged him to bet. He agreed on the terms that neither of you would tell the other what the punishment would be if they lost, adding a flair of risk to it. You shook on it, John and Lafayette being the witnesses.
The napkin read, in pen ink mixed with a tad bit of Sam Adams:
“Alex vs Y/N: Is Mystery Man gonna hook up with a chick or not?
Alex- Chick
Y/N- Dude
Winner picks punishment.
x Alexander Hamilton
x Y/N Y/L/N”
“See him frenching the dude in the blue shirt? I win.” You rebutted not a minute later.
“Why did I let you get me into this?” Alex’s whining was like music to your ears. Hercules looked on, a wide smile donning his face. Your laughter was barely hidden under a hand over your mouth, Alex glaring at you somewhat playfully. You knew he hated this, but he wasn’t one to break his word.
“I didn’t do this to you. I told you my gaydar was better than yours, Alex. You just didn’t believe me,” you remind the costumed man before you. Lafayette ponders this for a moment, then asked, “What’s a ‘gaydar’ that you have that’s better than Alex’s?”
Your composure almost flew out the window, but given the situation at hand, you would have a valid excuse to. Alex rocking - well, itching to get out of - the outfit you picked for him made you crave popcorn it was that entertaining to watch.
You were already in your Janet costume, completely ready and pumped for the performance tonight.
“God, how do they do this daily? I couldn’t ever do this for no amount for money,” Alex was pulling at his bottoms apprehensively. “What if they scrunch up and, um, you know-”
“Alex, you’re actually kinda lucky. I could have made you be Rocky instead of Dr. Frank. Be a man and put on your lipstick.” Wow, that was a sentence you never thought you would say.
John chuckles at his friend’s predicament and in return, Alex smacks him. This leads to the two hitting each other like children and you would have none of it.
“Boys! I will not let Alex mess up his makeup or rip his pantyhose with your horseplaying!” You chide. You laugh smugly in your head as you help Alex with the temporary tattoos. Finally, you give him the cape, tying together his look. This was going to be one fun night.
“I have gotten six different catcalls tonight, and we just got here!” Alex whisper-shouts at you.
“Nope, not leaving. I put this much effort into your outfit and you look great, so man up and wear your pantyhose with pride.” Alex groans in response, begrudgingly following you into the theatre.
Little did he know, this production of the Rocky Horror Picture Show brought people in from the audience to create the performance. And you were by no means telling him because he would have refused, ruining your night and your revenge.
A lone woman in a gold top hat and sparkly one-piece enters from stage left and begins to speak, calling the audience to attention. “Now, you all know how this goes,” she says. “And we’ve seen some newcomers in the audience, which is such a joy. So for those who have never been to our Rocky Horror showing, here are the rules.”
You’re excited as she speaks, loving the pre-show almost as much as the show itself. Her Columbia outfit was always on point, and no one else played Columbia as well as she does. “When the spotlight lands on you, you will go backstage and be told the song you’re performing. Ready Brutus?” A brief shout is heard from the back, and the woman on stage claps gleefully. “Let’s get started!”
You can read Alexander’s mind, knowing how much hate he holds for you in this moment, but he says nothing. The audience slightly shrinks as people are chosen to perform and the boys remain silent. That is, until the spotlight lands on Alex.
His deep chocolate brown eyes make him look like a deer in the headlights, fear rising in his stomach. “Wait, no. I uh, no thanks. Really, I’m flattered, but-” Alex stutters.
“No! You are not going to make me look like a fool in front of these people! I have gone to these events for years and it is an honor to be Dr. Frank!” You scold him through your teeth, then the spotlight lands on you as well.
“See? Now you’re not doing this alone. I’ll be here the whole time.”
“And who are you?” A crew member asks Alex, gesturing with his pen. “Alexander Hamilton, he’s with me.” You interrupt Alex as he began to introduce himself.
“Dollface! I didn’t see you there, honey! Get backstage, find Brad. You’re on the whole night, there were no other qualified Janet’s tonight, strangely.” You nod, curls slightly bouncing with your head. You lingered though, wanting to know how Dean would manage.
On a typical performance night, there were three or four people for each character, but Janet was an exception for tonight. You had no clue if Alex would find a way to bullshit himself through not performing or using the same method while performing.
Either way, it would be a sight.
“Well honey, what are you waiting for? You have to go get ready! Go!” He ushers you away and you go, hoping Alex got a short one. You didn’t think he would be able to live over embarrassing himself on one of the main songs that he doesn’t know.
“What about, uh, me?” Alex’s flustered at the attention he’s getting when in his costume. The crew member looks him up and down, gears turning in his head as he eyes Alex’s attire. He was admiring the handiwork he assumed was your doing but wouldn’t bring it up in fear of offending Alex.
“To judge a book by its cover, pardon the pun, I think you would be able to rock Sweet Transvestite and Planet Schmanet. What do you think?” Alex nods in agreement. “You have a set of lungs on you boy?” Alex nods again. “Okay, follow me and I’ll tell you where and when to do what. I imagine you’ve seen Rocky Horror before, so no further instructions are needed.”
Alex and the crewman are walking and talking, Alex getting the rundown of what he needs.
“Well, here we are. Best of luck, Alex.” Alex thanks him and with that, the crewman disappears.
“Oh Brad, I'm mad!” You sing. Dammit, Janet while Brad follows up. You and Brad conclude Dammit Janet with the united “I love you” note and the crowd applauds. Dammit Janet is over, and Frankenstein Place & Time Warp follow as scheduled. You’re rocking it tonight, and you don’t think you’ve performed this well in a while.
“How do you do? I see you've met my faithful handyman. He's just a little brought down because when you knocked, he thought you were the candyman.” Dr. Frank-N-Furter entered stage on cue, but something about his voice made you nearly freeze mid-faint.
It was Alex.
“Don't get strung out by the way I look! Don't judge a book by its cover. I'm not much of a man by the light of day, but by night I'm one hell of a lover!” You couldn’t believe it. Alex wasn’t making a fool of himself, knew every word to emphasize, and knew the stage directions and everything! You were impressed just as much as astonished.
Before you could really, truly, grasp it, Alex was in front of the Brad actor and yourself and guiding you two backwards.
So much for him being miserable; he looked as it he was having the time of his life! It was a wonderful sight to behold. “Thank God Peggs and Angie agreed to come and record the night’s production,” you thought before you almost missed your cue to walk behind Brad.
Alex was fuming. He had half a mind to storm onstage, rip the Rocky actor off you, and- okay that almost went a little too far there. But his jealousy is still burning like a wildfire because of the typical, perfect, straight white male getting to French you in front of a crowd. That should be him, he thinks, and can’t do a single thing about it.
The chasing scene right before Planet Schmanet commenced after the slap, the two of you running through the audience and singing, and Brad following somewhat close behind. The time came for everyone to be in the lab, where Brad, Dr. Scott, and yourself were trapped on the Medusa Transducer.
“Planet! Schmanet! Janet!” Alex began to grope you as the script told him to as he sang, silently pained as you swatted him away, even though it was what you were supposed to. Despite the emotions piling up like a ton of red bricks, he pressed onward because the show must go on.
He was having a blast with you onstage, but he only wished he was of the right body type to be Rocky or as valued by Janet as Brad was. Hell, he wasn’t even tall enough to be Frank! But nevertheless, he persisted and had fun, a darker and lustful side of him secretly enjoying seeing you so vulnerable. Poor Janet never got a change of clothes after she ripped them during Touch-A Touch-A..
“Alex, I had no idea you could perform like that!” You raved after the performance had ended. People were coming up to the two of you, complimenting Alex’s debut performance and another fantastic run for yourself. Overall, the night was a smash.
“Me? You were phenomenal! I wish I had known you were so brilliant at performing!” Alex was all but worshipping you and your talent. You were wrapped in the cape that goes with Alex’s costume, since yours were, well… not concealing, and Alex would not let any more people see you exposed than the show permitted.
Alex then realized with a start that more people than that have probably seen you like that. After all, you said you had been going there for years… were you always Janet? Guess he had to stake his claim now before another Brad or Rocky could sweep you away.
You were walking to the car in a comfortable yet charged silence, still coasting on the waves of adrenaline. “Hey Y/N, I’ve got something to say.” Alex comments, seeming to be nervous. You were perplexed; Alexander Hamilton, the king of not shutting up about his opinion or otherwise, nervous? Almost unheard of.
And was he really just quoting Brad? Yes he was.
“Uh huh?” You decided to go with it with the assumption he would just joke around with you for just a line or two, but oh no he didn’t just stop there.
“The river was deep, but I swam it! The future is ours, so let’s plan it! So please, don’t tell me to can it! I’ve one thing to say and that’s dammit, Y/N,” he stopped singing to the imaginary tune and began to speak sincerely. “I love you, I really do. I know it’s not really the best time, seeing our attire, but I could barely contain my anger while Goldilocks was all over you and wanted you to know that I really, really, love-.”
You cut him off by sealing your lips to his. It was euphoric, despite what little both of you were wearing. With a smug grin, you replied with a cheeky “I’m mad for you, too” before making up for lost time.