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Magnus was sitting on the couch, moping if he was being honest with himself, when the Catarina practically flew through a portal into his living room. Magnus nearly jumped off the couch, “Catarina! What are you doing here?”
“You’re needed at the Institute,” she answered steadily. Magnus’s eyes narrowed, his anger flaring. He knew Alexander had only been trying to do the right thing but after the month he’d had, Alexander’s betrayal was too much. Magnus replied in a clipped tone, “Needed by who? The Head of the Institute seems to think he doesn’t need to communicate with the Downworld to win this war.” Perhaps he was being childish, but the situation couldn’t be that bad or Cat would already be at the Institute. She was here, so it must be under control.
“Magnus, I know you’re angry but now isn’t the time. Ale-,” she started before Magnus cut her off, “I am allowed to be angry whenever I like! I don’t care if it doesn’t work with his schedule, I’m angry now an-,”
“Max Lightwood is dead,” Catarina interrupted, her tone firm and Magnus stumbled back a step, shocked.
“Max? But he’s so-,” Magnus protested.
“Young? I know. Listen, Magnus, Alec… He needs you right now,” Catarina explained and Magnus’s heart nearly stopped. Alexander… Worry seeped through him, washing every spark of anger away. The anger could wait. Alexander had just lost his youngest brother and no matter how betrayed Magnus had felt, the Shadowhunter didn’t deserve to weather that storm alone. Without another word, Magnus summoned a portal and stepped through. He appeared in the Institute’s entranceway and walked inside, expecting chaos but instead was met by a suffocating silence as it’s inhabitants grieved the young loss and silently carried out orders from their leader.
Magnus moved through the Institute quickly, heading for the infirmary. He’d just turned the last corner when he saw Alexander. He was leaning against a wall, his arms crossed, his eyes blank and unfocused. Izzy and Jace were there as well but Magnus barely even noticed them. Alec must have noticed the movement because his eyes flicked up and when he saw Magnus he turned away although the slight shaking in his limbs was impossible to hide. The sight hurt Magnus’s heart; his sweet Alexander so lost and broken, it wasn’t fair. Magnus took a deep breath and stepped closer, his voice soft, “Alexander, I’m only here to help.”
Magnus took another step and another until he was next to his Shadowhunter. “You’re angry,” was all Alec said, tears gleaming in his eyes. Magnus gently put a hand on his boyfriend’s arm, “That can wait. Cat told me what happened. I’m so sorry, Alexander...” Alec’s jaw tightened as though his fight against the tears had doubled, and he spoke so quietly, it was barely a whisper, “He was so young… He didn’t deserve this… He didn’t do anything wrong… He was innocent…”
“I know, Alexander,” he answered, his arm slowly wrapping around the Shadowhunter’s waist, “let’s get you to bed. You need to rest.”
“I-I can’t… I have to…,” Alec started to protest but Magnus cut him off softly, “The Institute will be fine.”
Alec’s shoulders sagged in defeat, knowing the warlock was right.
Magnus slowly led him away, his touch gentle, his heart overflowing with love and concern for his Shadowhunter. Alec made it to his bed, slowing laying down, eyes blankly staring at the ceiling, and Magnus laid down next to his boyfriend, wrapping him in hug and holding him close. The usually tough and stoic Shadowhunter melted into his touch, eyes squeezed tightly closed. Magnus murmured softly, “It’s okay to cry, Alexander. It’s okay to grieve.” Alec shook his head, “I have to be strong… I’m the oldest, it’s my job.”
“No, it isn’t. Your job is to heal. Crying doesn’t make you weak, darling. It just means you’re hurting,” Magnus told him, stretching up and pressing a kiss to his forehead. Alec shuddered and buried his face in Magnus’s hair, a small sob escaping. Magnus rubbed his boyfriend’s back gently, as the floodgates seemed to open and the Shadowhunter sobbed into him, holding him tight as though the warlock would disappear if he loosened his grip. Magnus let him cry, rubbing Alec’s back and doing his best to comfort the Shadowhunter, though there was nothing he could say that would truly ease his lover’s pain.
Alec cried for hours, eventually crying himself to sleep. Even in sleep, his hold on Magnus didn’t loosen and the warlock’s heart ached for him. How much would Alexander have to lose? Hadn’t he lost enough already? He’d given so much, given Magnus his whole heart and soul. He’d fought for Magnus and his people against everything he’d been raised on and still, this happened. Magnus fell asleep wondering if he could ever even begin to help Alexander heal. Whether he could or not, Magnus was determined to try.
Magnus woke up only a few hours later to the sound of sniffling.
“Alexander?” he asked, his voice a tired mumble. Alec sniffled quietly, “I’m sorry I woke you… I just… I had a nightmare.” Magnus blinked the sleepy haze from his eyes and murmured, “Would you like to talk about it?”
“It was you… You and Izzy and Jace and… and Max…” his voice broke on the name, a strangled sob escaping before he continued, “All… I failed all of you… I lost you all…” Magnus’s heart broke anew at that and he just hugged his boyfriend closer, promising, “You won’t lose me, Alexander. I will always come back to you.”
Alec buried his face in Magnus’s hair again, whispering, “Thank you.” Minutes later, Magnus was being lulled back to sleep by Alec’s soft snores. They were going to get through this. It was only a matter of time.